Pop Culture Princess

Pop Culture Princess
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Friday, July 09, 2010

Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan on how to handle jail

Dear Lindsay,

This is not an attempt to mock you in your distress,however,you do have to realize that this current dilemma that's facing you is one that you brought on yourself. Crying in front of the judge gets you nowhere fast,especially after ditching your mandated by court ordered meetings to hang out at the Cannes film festival(Judge Judy wouldn't put up with any of that).

It also doesn't help your cause when talk is stirring about auctioning off the rights to your first post-jail interview to the highest bidder. *Sigh* you really need to take this seriously,not as a juicy career opportunity but as something that could help change your life for the better. Here are a few suggestions for dealing with this upcoming incarceration challenge:

1) Don't believe the hype: Prison is going to be rough but due to budget cuts and overcrowding,you won't be there for long. While your stay is hardly going to be a four star hotel experience,they won't be throwing into some B-movie hell hole.

Getting all worked up over what it's going to be like is merely added stress that you and your loved ones don't need right now. Just accept the fact that jail is where you're headed for a little while and thank your lucky stars that where you'll be locked up is not someplace that makes what happened to the guy in Midnight Express look like a Disneyland attraction:

2) Reexamine your family issues: Without getting into too much detail and all up in your business,it's no secret that some of your problems stem from your childhood and the various dysfunctions of your family. Perhaps a bit of this was covered already in the therapy sessions you did show up for but if this isn't the perfect time to delve further into that,I don't know when is.

Don't take the easy route of "blame Mom & Dad"-sure,they didn't do you any favors in the emotional development department but going that route is strictly a one way street that leads to nowhere good. Learn to accept your folks as human beings who made mistakes and couldn't help but pass them on to you.

Taking a more open minded approach and seeing them as people first can show you more about yourself that you may realize:

3) Check yourself before you wreck yourself even further: Why do you think you won all of those Razzies over a year ago,as a good natured goof? No,my dear,the joke was definitely on you.

Yes, Sandra Bullock picked up one of those dubious honors this spring but she also won an Oscar not long after that,an ambition you once boasted about. Your chances of achieving that goal at this point are about the same as a snowball's chance in hell.

Maybe you're not aware that your name is one of the biggest punch lines around when it comes to silly celebrity starlet gags there. Then again,you might be dismissing those remarks as jealous catcalls;think again,hon. No one is envying your position as the current events court jester these days:

You're a young,intelligent woman who has dozens of opportunities to make something of herself in the world. Instead,all you've accomplished so far is a bad reputation,both in your personal and professional circles,and very destructive habits that could kill off more than your career.

Take this jail time and what I hope is a more reliably run rehab as the loudest wake up call you're ever going to get,Lindsay. It's not too late to turn things around and become the person you truly want to be. It would be nice to someday read a story about you that shows your talents and personality at their best. Good luck and buckle up,dear.


Lady T and those of us hoping to see you become so much better than before:

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