Pop Culture Princess

Pop Culture Princess
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Friday, August 12, 2011

Bad Movie Month sets up a perilous playdate for Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys

Once upon a time,there was a little B movie company called Full Moon created by a fellow named Charles Band that made many strange and awesomely awful direct to video films that enchanted the realm of bad movie fans with such wonders as Castle Freak,Subspecies and Puppet Master.

The Puppet Master films were very popular and a good deal of them were made,which pleased the overlords of cinema squalor very much. However,a bargain made with the sinister souls of the Sci-Fi Channel lead to an unofficial Puppet Master sequel that also snatched up a new batch of Full Moon franchise darlings dubbed Demonic Toys.

Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys stars former '80s teen icon Corey Feldman as the latest descendant of the famed Toulon clan that first made the murderous marionettes.

He and his teenage daughter Alex hope to replicate the formula which gives the little fiends life(the secret ingredient happens to be their blood). Little does he know that his efforts are being spied upon by Erica Sharpe(Vanessa Angel),the heiress to a major toy company who has evil designs upon his family's lethal legacy:

Erica,in addition to planning a Christmas eve massacre that will unleash her company's line of Christmas Pal dolls to take over the world,is bored with her trio of demon infested playthings that her dear old dad sold his soul for when she was a little girl.

Granted,these dolls consist of a foul talking baby,a chomp happy teddy bear with glowing green eyes and a carnivorous jack in the box but even Veruca Salt was more grateful to her placating parents than this spoiled sweetheart from hell.

She now wants the Toulon puppets as her personal pack of protectors so she does what any savvy business person would do,renegotiate her contract. After a routine sacrifice of the lobby receptionist(a job position as safe as wearing a red shirt on a Star Trek mission),Erica summons up the demon Bael and they agree to split up the remaining Toulons in a truly bloody way.

Meanwhile,Papa Toulon catches on that something is amiss after a foiled raid on his shop that damages his puppets ,which gives him plenty of opportunity to flirt with the attractive police woman he keeps running into. After all,who can resist a goofy guy with a voice like a chain smoking grandma who likes to play with dolls for a living,huh?:

Eventually,Papa Toulon stumbles onto the full plan and tries to stop Erica but is disbelieved by the authorities,of course. Naive Police Woman,however,is willing to trust him somewhat and gives him the chance to take off. Guess there's slim pickings in the dating pool in that town,indeed.

Naturally,daughter Alex is kidnapped by the bad guys but not before her dad updates the weaponry on the puppets and the both of them realize that they're dealing with demon worshipers(dun,dun,dun!).

Naive Police Woman teams up with him to save the day after running into a couple of the Demonic Toys herself but they have to hurry before the big blood sacrifice that will set off a horrifying holiday season. Why do evil corporate types always want to ruin kid friendly celebrations like Christmas and Halloween,I ask you? Wouldn't it be more surprising to mount an invasion of unholy terrors on a day that's a bit more casual-Labor Day Beach Party Massacre! Just throwing it out there,folks:

So,if you're in the mood for the saddest playtime ever,Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys will gladly disappoint you. From the overt overacting by even the props to the appearance of the main demon in a Santa suit,this miserable movie delivers on the sorry cinematic goods. Tune in next time for a double dose of aquatic awfulness with Mega Piranha and Sharktopus and until then,play careful with your toys:

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