Pop Culture Princess

Pop Culture Princess
especially welcome to extensive readers

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Is Fifty Shades Darker going to be another dim bulb of a sexy sequel?

Out of all the big media announcements of late, the one that many were waiting for and others hoping not to hear about arrived, as the trailer for Fifty Shades Darker hit the internet today.

As with the first one, the movie will be released on Valentine's Day of next year and yes, that is Kim Basinger slipping on a creepy doll mask on a stick(she plays Christian Grey's sexy mentor). Marsha Gay Harden is also in the cast as Christian's mother and I shudder to think what the inevitable "meeting your boyfriend's disapproving parent" scene is going to be like.

From what the trailer shows, the plot points are Ana and Christian get back together to make a fresh start but wouldn't you know, those pesky,kinky ghosts of his past are just ready and waiting to haunt them! I've heard folks say "the nineties(1990s) are back" and this trailer alone proves that in abundance:

Since the plot of FSD sounds a lot like an erotic thriller from the nineties, I thought it would be amusing to check out a few trailers of similar sexy sequels from around that time period.

With Kim Basinger in this movie, what first came to my mind was Another Nine and a Half Weeks, a ten years too late follow-up that she wisely chose not to take part in, unlike her co-star Mickey Rourke(whose character happens to be named "John Gray").

This Mr. Gray is moping around Europe, missing his former refrigerator feeding partner until he runs into Lea(Angie Everhart), a fashion designer who says she's a gal pal of his old flame. Not only does John jump start his romantic battery with Lea, her assistant Claire is brought along for this dubious fun ride. Yeah, way to get over the heart break there,Romeo!

 This movie was released as direct to video in the US and it's not hard to see why, as even the cover art for this film makes Rourke look more like a sewer dwelling vampire ready to pounce than a red hot lover there:

Next up, Wild Orchid II: Two Shades of Blue blossoms into a beautiful mess that doesn't have much to connect it with the first movie other than both were directed by Red Shoe Diaries producer Zalman King.

At least Mickey Rourke(who was in the first Wild Orchid) isn't in this one but we do have a leading lady named Blue(Nina Siemaszko), a teen girl forced to work at a brothel after her dad dies. Of course, once she finds true love, Blue wants to get out of the business but the evil madam and her co-horts won't let that happen.

This movie looks like some sleazy period piece where you wouldn't be surprised to see a bad guy twirling his mustache as he threatens the hapless heroine. Unlike the original Wild Orchid, which earned a touch of ratings controversy as well as a couple of Razzie nominations, this flimsy sequel wilted quickly in theaters: 

Speaking of foul foliage, Alyssa Milano made one of her first forays into bad girl on film territory with Poison Ivy II: Lily.

Naturally, she plays Lily, a shy art student looking to change her image and with the help of the diary owned by the previous film's femme fatale, she gets a few pointers on how to be a sly seductress.

Lily winds up being in a twisted relationship with her obsessive art teacher Donald(Xander Berkley) while babysitting his daughter, since that sort of calls back the first movie. However, Lily finds a nice boy to be with, which gets Donald all hot and bothered in a violent way, unlike the original movie.

 Not a story that concerns itself too much with continuity, which is something all three of the movies highlighted here have in common. Another odd coincidence is that the director of PI2, Anne Goursaud, also directed Another Nine and a Half Weeks, which doesn't surprise me as much as it should:

Well, we just have to face it, folks; the Fifty Shades phenomenon is not yet dead. In addition to the new trailer, there's word that E.L. James is working on a revamped version of FSD that tells Christian's point of view(much like the one she did for FSOG that made even more Worst of the Year lists than the original book did).

For better and for worse, the Fifty Shades saga is still going strong so we might as well learn to live with it. Just be thankful that there isn't a Broadway musical version in the wings(not yet, anyway...):

No comments: