Thursday, September 15, 2005

Top Five Improvements needed for Entertainment Weekly

I tend to sing the praises of Entertainment Weekly magazine quite a bit but like any long term
relationship,there are little things that bug you about the one you're with but are tolerable. If
you had the chance,however,you would tell 'em"She snores/He wheezes/Say housework and
he freezes/she eats these skeevy cheeses that I can't describe!"

Ok,before I start singing the entire book of the Buffy musical,let's get to it-my top five peeves
about EW:

1)I HATE LISA SCHWARTZBAUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the shouting but the only way I can truly express my annoyance with her style of
writing and stance on certain subjects is to scream. She is such a condescending bitch when
she reviews comic book films,sneering at "fan-boys" and how she's not one of those people.
If she doesn't like that genre,why review "Sin City",for example? She can't switch with somebody? Also,Lisa is prone to the diatribe-her review for The Machinist is all about how
Christian Bale got extra thin for the part and how Hollywood is depraved for forcing actors
to do this,body weight issues,etc. That's nice ,dear,but what's the movie about? Who else is
in it? Is it worth seeing for the story?

Actually,I've not liked her ever since she reviewed Muriel's Wedding(one of my favorite films with Toni Collette)-instead of getting the point of the movie (which was that Muriel didn't need
a ritual to find self validation),she saw it as glamorization of weddings,like a fetish film. Yeah,real
insightful,there hon. Then again,what do you expect from a gal who calls Marky Mark Wahlberg a"wily chameleon"?

2)More End Page Columns needed.

I know Stephen King can't knock out a column every week(I don't buy his retirement from
writing,myself-he's as retired as the Rolling Stones)due to other commitments but Stupid
Questions and those Pop Culture Quizs are getting staler than Trump's hairpiece. Maybe
have alternating writers do an end page-Chuck Klosterman one week,Kevin Smith the next.

3)More Comic Book/Graphic Novels section

Comic books are covered in their own niche every once in awhile(so is Stage). In my opinion,
Comic books are more main stream and accessible to the average EW reader than Stage so it should be a regular feature.

4)The In/Out list is so five minutes ago.

5)The Fashion pages bore me.

And one positive trend I'm seeing and liking...

Wacky Pop Culture coverage

Having features on the cult flick Manos :The Hands of Fate and where are they now for the Police Academy films rock. It's cool and interesting stuff like that which sets EW apart from
the media saturated magazine crowd. Keep up the good work,gang.

2 comments:

  1. Never was into Ally McBeal(woman seriously needed to eat a sandwich or two there)but I know what you mean about Billy-wish Pete was coming back to Smallville for a visit.

    I still like EW,even tho the new issue gives Hunger's Brides a C for being"too long"-in this age of DVD extras and Director's Cuts,too long is not a minus,it's a plus in my book!

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  2. I didn't hate her for being thin,I feared for her lifespan:) Basically,it was too trendy to watch but I did see the dancing baby show-about as creepy as The Grudge.

    My word id is elppfr-Evil Lex Plans & Plots Fiery Retribution!

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