Saturday, December 31, 2005

A Personal Note for the New Year

Normally,I don't discuss my personal life on this blog but something has recently
happened that will have some impact on what is written here,not to mention that
it was necessary to alter my profile so this is situation I'm facing for the new
year:I left my job after 8 years. I gave notice on December 26 and turned in my
keys to the store on December 27.

I'm going to give you some background info-last year,I was hospitalized for a week
due to heart related probelms that went unchecked for too long(which had to do with
the fact that I couldn't afford health insurance but that's a whole other issue).
When I went back to work,one of the things I needed to do to help myself get better
was to cut back on my hours. I brought in a note from my doctor,explaining that I
had to work only four days a week and that I shouldn't do heavy lifting. My hours
were changed but over time, feelings of resentment were directed at me when certain
duties that involved lifting came up.


Also,the owner has grown more frustrated about the state of the store and has taken
these feelings out on me and the rest of the staff for the past few months. It's one
thing to have made a error and asked to correct it but it's quite another when you're
told that if you couldn't find something that was put away a year ago that you"need
new glasses" and that you were given a $1 raise to "make you feel better" that isn't
being earned.

I'm not going to get into any more specifics but I will also say that the working
environment of the store has sharply changed. Sure,there's always good times and
bad times but when I first started being a bookseller,there was more of a sense
of community spirit. We used to celebrate each other's birthday with a card and/or
cake & flowers. At holiday time,the whole staff would go out to dinner to celebrate
another year together and make plans for the next. We haven't done any of that for
awhile now. People are friendly to each other but there's a remoteness and an aura
of disconnection about the work we do.

All of this has been affecting my health-I was so agitated last Monday that when I
came home that night,it was necessary to take my blood pressure. I'm alright but
it has just gotten to the breaking point where I can't put up with this anymore.

This has been one of the hardest things I've ever done-I've never just up and quit
a job before and I've never left one job without having another one to go to. My family has been very supportive of me at this time for which I'm truly grateful.
I'm sorry to have left this way but it seemed like I had to sink or swim so I
dove into the unknown. I do intend to keep this blog going,it's one of the better
aspects of my life.

Don't worry,I have no intention of boring anyone with tales of my job hunting and
other personal woes. I still have plenty of books to read and review for '06 and
will keep working on getting more author interviews(thanks again to Suzanne for
being so generous with her time and recommending other writers to me.). Hopefully
things will get better in 2006. I wish everyone at the store the best of luck and
hope that the new year is good to them as well. I know there's more important probelms out there but this one is mine and I intend to try and see this as an
opportunity rather than an obstacle. Happy New Year to one and all.

4 comments:

  1. It sounds like you needed a change for sure. No one should be subjected to such an atmosphere. I've found that about four to five years at one place is long enough.

    Good luck and happy new year.

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  2. Thanks,Jake-I appreciate the support:)

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  3. Did exactly the same thing at exactly your age, thought obviously, as a male, I didn't have the looks.
    Quit as staff writer for the old Star Weekly here in Toronto. They said take leave of absence, no I wanted to quit cold.
    Chaos right after that, a string of short-term jobs and firings.
    Then I decided to write my novel, The Hat People. Best decision in my life. The writing of the book somehow released good karma from somewhere. I had hardly completed the first chapter than I ended up with a new house, a small fortune and a lovely family. Just the way
    the (inheritance?) cards fell. I married a woman who loved writers and funky guitar players.
    It's going to be rough for a while, probably a year or more, but if you have started a serious creative project, you might be surprised at what may happen. Be prepared to be fired at least twice when you reenter. Then, probably, the miracle.

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  4. Thanks for the encouragement,Ivan-best of luck to you.

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