...With Lindsay Lohan as Blunder Woman!

Lindsay Lohan is running around Europe,telling anyone who will listen that she really,really wants to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming Joss Whedon version that's yet to cast a leading lady. According to the Sun article(linked for your pleasure in the title above),she thinks this part will give her some big league actor cred since most of the movies on her resume are " aimed at younger girls and are light-hearted."

Now,I'm a huge WW fangirl and would be standing on line today to see the Whedon version if there was a release date announced but I must say that if Lohan actually thinks this would elevate her into serious actress work,she definately should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery unsupervised. Granted,Jodie Foster did some Disney kid flicks back in the day but Jodie has this thing we call talent which our gal Lindsay doesn't seem to have clue #1 about. Then again,there's always Herbie:Unloaded 2 for her to fall back on!

Actually,the best thing to do about Wonder Woman is to cast an unknown in the part and round up a few seasoned actors for support and marquee value. One of the reasons that I have high hopes for Superman Returns is that Brandon Routh(who looks like Chris Reeves' long lost lovechild) has the lead role and Kevin Spacey is playing Lex Luthor. Of course,we'll have to put up with Parker"Overrated" Posey as Lex's gangsta bitch but if we're lucky,she will have as much screen time as Jar Jar Binks did in Revenge of the Sith(That movie would've been so much better if Jar Jar had gotten wacked right after the opening credits). One of my favorite lines in Lloyd Kaufman's All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger perfectly describes her:"an actress who's so excruciating aware of her own glib hipness that you feel like she might swirl and give the camera a backhanded high five at any moment." Watch any of her scenes in Blade:Trinity and tell me that statement doesn't hold up today.

Anyway,before I went off the garden path there,most people are not worried about Lohan donning the Amazon mantle since Joss Whedon is at the helm here and the man has excellent casting skills. Some fans want Sarah Michelle Geller or Charisma Carpenter but that's never gonna happen,gang. Those ladies are a)not right for the role and b)have moved on,bigtime. Jon Heder has a better shot at being the next James Bond,if something happens to Daniel Craig. Whedon will most likely go the unknown route for Wonder Woman but I'm sure he'll slip in some of his favorite troopers from his Buffy/Angel/Firefly days(please find a part for James Marsters,pretty please!!!).

Lohan would be better off going to the indie film circuit to expand her horizons-hey,it worked for Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes,the darlings of Dawson's Creek! Just be careful to avoid leading men with e-meters in their trailers,ready to give you some private auditing sessions,Lindsay,and you'll do just fine there,hon.