I know it's a tad early to be backing a political candidate for President but I have to say that once you hear my choice for our next Leader,you will gladly join me in falling upon your knees to him. I give you,the esteemed General Zod and his vice
president/henchwoman,Ursa. Non,of course,will hold a prominent position in the new administration(Secretary of State has been bandied about).
In addition to finally having a female VP,we will also reap the benefits of having a leader who truly will be Commander In Chief(saving the nation untold amounts of cash for defense spending)and who has a pretty solid platform:he supports universal health care,corporate reform and buying U.S products(thus securing the union vote).
Of course,you have to adhere to his pledge of "The General does not take orders,he gives them."and to have the son of Jor-El as his eternal slave. I know what you're going to say"But slavery's illegal and stuff!" Hey,you argue with a guy that can shoot lazer beams from his eyes and get his woman to literally blow you away with a power kiss,okay? I'm just saying.
I did consider some of the other candidates out there;Voldemort,Pedro(his campaign manager kept dancing around the issues),even Christopher Walken but it soon became abundantly clear to me that if we are to follow the current trend of having a power mad dictator demanding that the world kneel before his might,we might as well have one with actual superpowers. If I was a terrorist,I'd think twice about attacking a country that has three superstrong rulers who can fly right over to my secret hideout and find me and my crew with X-ray vision,then drop Mt. Rushmore on us.
Sure,benevolent leaders are always nice but that's the probelm,people! They're so nice that no one fears them and fear is quite the motivator. Plus,Zod's an immigrant so he can relate to the current controversary and with Lex Luthor as the ruler of Austrailia,we have a ready made foreign ally with an eye for real estate(that should reassure big business). Hey,don't take my word for it-just click the title link above to read more about the future reign of General Zod and don't forget to check out the kid's page! Children are the future and as Cartman might say"Respect his
Au-thority!"
You know, this post reminds me that maybe, perhaps, I was a little more "into" Superman than I had previously remembered. I can now recall a brief but intense fascination with these three Kryptonian villains, banished to their glassy, floating prison. I think I even remember trading cards (or were they called bubblegum cards? it was all so long ago).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the only archvillain getting my vote for Prez in 2008 will have one of these surnames: Rice, McCain, or Giuliani. Sorry Zod!
Your response has been forwarded to the official campaign HQ of The General-standby to recieve his wrath:
ReplyDelete"Foolish human-these beings you speak of will be too busy on their knees,living their very lives in tribute to me,Zod,to be opposing me for the Presidency! You do have time still to reconsider...or DIE AS YOU DESERVE TO!!!!!!!!"
Whew,had to get that out of my system:)! I never had the trading cards(they might've still had bubble gum back then) for Superman II but always dug the Phantom Zone Three-so wanted to be Ursa when I grew up"This Superman must be an undemanding male". Arrggh,someone stop me:D!