Monday, November 20, 2006

The Top Ten things I deciphered from The Da Vinci Code



So,I finally took a look at the Da Vinci Code movie this weekend and was rather shocked;it was actually good! I wasn't bored for one moment(then again,I like a movie that has scenes filled with tasty chunks of dialogue)and Tom Hanks' hair didn't distract me at all,unlike Barbra Streisand's nails in The Prince of Tides.

I don't know why so many critics felt the need to trash this film when guys like Rob Schneider are giving us sequels to Deuce Bigalow(and why was there a Garfield sequel? Who really needed that,except maybe Bill Murray looking for some quick voice over cash?). What I do know now after seeing DVC is this:




10) Beware of albino monks who walk around with cutting leg chains and have major daddy issues.

9)The French police are easy to avoid when you're being pursued for a crime you didn't commit.

8) "So Dark The Con of Man" should be the new graffiti slogan of the century.

7)Riddles are not just for Batman villains anymore.




6)History lessons are more interesting when accompanied by nifty computer generated renactments and Ian McKellan.





5)Ian McKellan is The Man,there is no higher-sucker emcees call him Sire!(actually,they call him Sir,since he's been knighted)

4) One of the perks of being the Last Scion is that you can cure claustrophobia with a temple massage.



3)Only the worthy can unlock the stone.

2)A cryptex is just as good of a birthday present from your grandfather as a wagon.

1) Why is it divine or human? Can't human be divine?

Well,I certainly think more highly of Dan Brown's books after seeing this movie and while I may not run right out and grab a copy of DVC,I'd certainly be willing to check out the film adaptation of Angels & Demons when it comes out in 2008. All those people protesting the whole Da Vinci phenomeneon sound as sensible as these snarky castle defenders here:



3 comments:

  1. Re: Bab's fingernails in Prince of Tides.

    Yes, but even more distracting was the fact that she only likes to be photographed on one side of her face. And since she was the director, she got to make sure of it. So she goes through all these contortions to make sure only that side of her face is visible at all times.

    Drove me absolutely INSANE.

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  2. Well that explains alot about why that movie didn't work(did she do the same thing for The Mirror has Two Faces,I wonder?). See,you learn something new everyday,kids:)

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