I was watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer last night while chatting with a friend and we both agreed that most of the toys exiled to the Island of Misfit Toys really weren't so bad.
What's wrong with a water gun that shoots jelly? Most kids would love something like that(even if their parents didn't)and couldn't the train with the square wheels just get those babies replaced? Not to mention that I've always had a fondness for the Charlie in the Box.
This got me to think about what the population of a newer Island of Misfit Toys would be like(that's how my brain works,folks). Would it be that much different from what's currently on the shelves this holiday season? Let's look and see:
A DOLLY FOR SUE?
Movie tie-in toys have come a long way,baby,but I definately think the official Grindhouse Cherry Darling action figure would certainly stand out on the IOMT. Having a machine gun leg is odder than a cowboy riding an ostrich,that's for sure.
Atleast they gave her an ally with the Dakota action figure,complete with her very own set of "needle friends". Together,these two gals could take over Barbie's turf and give those damn annoying Bratz dolls a run for their money.
WHY FIX WHAT AIN'T BROKE?
I've ranted before about new"updated" versions of classic board games and yet am still amazed at what folks think is necessary to spice them up. Bad enough that there's an Electronic Banking edition of Monopoly,now they're giving a Life: Twists and Turns! What are these twists and turns,you may ask? Well,a credit card for one,plus you get a "Life Pod" to track your moves during play and fun options like becoming a rich and famous movie star or having a bad hair day. Wow,way to hip things up,Hasbro! Yeah,because young people aren't getting enough encouragement to use plastic currency on a daily basis and have superficial goals, no sirree!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE LEAD POISONING, SCARECROW?
With all of the made in China toys being recalled this year due to lead paint,you could form a whole nation of Misfit Toys,not to mention a special section for those Aqua Dots with that interesting little chemical mix that the detectives of L&W:SUV have more than a nodding acquaintance with.
IS THIS REALLY ENCHANTING?
I haven't seen Enchanted but do think it's a sweet sounding movie(even with the musical number that has rats and roaches cleaning house)and as much as I adore Disney tie in products,this Enchanted trash bin is a tad much. They call it "pop up storage" but I know a trash can when I see one! Come on,there's clearly a plastic bag inserted in this baby and it comes with "storage ties". Hey,if you want to sell a pretty princess waste can,fine with me-just call it what it really is. Also, that zippered lid is totally over the top.
WHO NEEDS REINDEER GAMES?
Zombies never seem to go out of style and even a current version of IOMT would want to be trendy. To remedy that,just add this What Would A Zombie Do? spinner to the mix and answer that all consuming question that has plagued humanity for ages-"What do you want to do tonight,Marty?"
This playset of Glow in The Dark Zombies would surely liven things up(and provide the Cherry Darling doll with some target practice)and you could even give them a group of Horrified B-Movie Victims to hang out with. Talk about a perfect play date!
OFFICE POLITICS CAN BE FUN!
It wouldn't be fair to leave out more adult orientated toys from the island(get your minds out of the gutter there!)and since a good number of the residents there would probably have a few re-adjustment probelms,Eve the Sensitivity Consultant would be one busy gal. Armed with visual aids and her trusty pointer,Eve is more than ready to handle any and all culture challenges that come her way(altho she may have a spot of trouble with the Rescue Me crew).
There you have it,folks-some of the future representatives of Misfit Toys everywhere. Perhaps you might want to take some of them home with you or give a couple to a good friend or family member who would care for them as if they were a child of their own. Tis the season,after all!
No comments:
Post a Comment