Louie and the Fat Lady Conversation

Now, I don't watch the TV series Louie(although I am very familiar with it's star Louis C.K. and his style of comedy) but have heard great things about it. I mainly haven't seen it because there is usually another show that I'm already into up against it in that time slot.

However,one of the more recent episodes has created quite a stir at the pop culture water cooler today and since it has to do with a subject that I have personal experience with, my two cents on the matter feels warranted on this occasion.

  As some of you may know, I'm a plus size woman( or fat, if you prefer) and have commented before here on how large ladies are depicted in society.

 This episode of Louie,entitled "So Did the Fat Lady", hits upon the whole social stigma of guys dating fat women, in particular with an excellent speech by actress Sarah Baker(playing a waitress that Louie has a reluctant relationship with) where she asks him the question that many of us big girls would like guys to answer-"Why do you hate us so much?"

It's a fair question, given the trope of the Sexually Easy Fat Girl that pervades both film and TV. Before any of you fellas start complaining that "Hey, it's hard for big guys,too!", let me ask you this: have you ever heard a woman on either a TV show or in a movie talk/joke about hooking up with a fat man at the end of the night and how not difficult it was to get him into bed? No, you can't think of one time? Well, that's because it doesn't happen,ever!

I can recall the first time that I learned of this particular notion,courtesy of Andrew Dice Clay back in his heyday. Yes, he was an equal opportunity slinger of crud but believe me, his bit about luring a fat girl into the sack with a box of Twinkies made quite an impression on me at a young age and I'm dead certain that I'm not alone in that.

Art in any format is a reflection of social attitudes and I was taught by the media early on that sexuality and fat women go together like unsalted peanut butter and sewage. Two questionable tastes that definitely don't taste great together.

That may sound harsh but it's one of the big reasons that I have never attempted to have a romantic relationship-I did not want to be the Slutty Fat Girl. Don't worry, I'm not about to get all auto bio here, but it needs to be said that a lot of this negative perception of an overweight woman's sex appeal has been strongly reenforced by pop culture.

 At best, sex with a fat girl is seen as a joke, mainly an embarrassing moment in a guy's life that he would rather not talk about too much and never meant to lead to anything more than a cheap one night stand:

I'm also not letting women off the hook either. We are our own worst enemy at times and even with all the strides women have made in the media, one of the most prevalent nightmare images for females is being fat.

Part of this ridiculousness comes from insisting that even normal sized actresses like Mindy Kaling are grossly overweight and the constant focus on body size determining a woman's worth. Granted, women can be a little more subtle about it but one weapon that always seems to be in their arsenal whether it's a fictional or a reality show is that being fat is a woman's worst fault:

 So, I want to give credit to Louis C. K. and Sarah Baker for getting the ball rolling again on this topic. It would be nice to have an open and honest conversation about why fat women are still bearing the brunt of pop culture fury and how we could change all of that in both the real as well as the imaginary world we all live in.

I may be naive but I would like to think that there may come a time in our society where such ideas are only seen as antiquated customs of the distant past, like some of the things we see on a series like Mad Men. I long for a world where a women's worth in any aspect of her life is not measured in pounds and her personal happiness is not limited to numbers on a scale. Pop culture can't change everything bad in our world but it can nudge us towards a better tomorrow: