Pop Culture Princess

Pop Culture Princess
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Friday, August 22, 2008

Bad Movie Month refuses to be a member of this Tribe

Sequels tend to get a bad rap and sometimes,it's more than justified. Especially sequels that follow up on the original movie over a decade later after it's first theatrical release and double that if it's a direct to video release.

Sometimes points are awarded if an original cast member comes in to reprise their role but in the case of the Coreys,you have to subtract rather than add. Lost Boys: The Tribe is all of those things and a lot more. A lot more worse.

Let's start off with the vampires in this sad little suckfest of a flick. The head vamp here is Shane(played by Angus Sutherland,half brother of Kiefer),who leads around a bunch of surfer boys that find it amusing to stab each other in the stomach and film the messy results on their video camera(real brain trust there).

Shane is supposed to be this sexy,charismatic leader,in the mode of David,the first Lost Boy top dog memorably played by Kiefer Sutherland. Alas,little brother Angus has all of the sexual charisma of a pound of headcheese and none of the charm to boot.

After slaughtering Tom Savini(making a confusing cameo as a vampire,particularly since he was a vamp in the From Dusk Til Dawn films and not a part of the original Lost Boys at all)and taking over his swanky beach house,the fang gang then targets two potential new recruits,a brother and sister act.

Chris(Tad Hilgenbrink)and Nicole(Autumn Reeser)turn out to the kids of Michael and Star from the first movie who didn't need to appear in this travesty in order to pay their rent so they've been conveniently killed off screen,in a car accident. The teenage orphans move to Luna Bay,where their wacky Aunt Jillian lets them rent a rundown house at a discount(what a generous gal!)and the kids hit the beach to find work and make a few friends(Nicole has no trouble in the latter half of that goal):

Nicole runs into Shane at a party and after being dazzled by a cheesy flower trick,drinks from his handy flask of blood and instantly starts to vamp out. Chris is confused by what's happening to her but after fighting off a local vampirella with a set of wall mounted antlers,he realizes the truth and seeks some expert assistance.

That's when the first Corey pops in,as the adult version of Edgar Frog,surfboard shaper and vampire hunter who is also a licensed online minister which allows him the power to bless holy water. Edgar gives Chris such words of wisdom as "Your sister's a suck monkey!" and "Smell that? Fungus and death....vampire B.O."

The fellas then come up with a plan to save Nicole by having Chris play double agent and join up with the surfer vamps only to betray them at the last minute.

While Nicole is freaked out by her newfound taste for blood("Do you know how disgusting that is? I'm a vegetarian!" she whines at one point),that doesn't stop her from being enthralled by Shane and bumping uglies with him to the horrendous sounds of a new cover of "Cry Little Sister"(take a listen,if you dare):

This all ends in boring blood and mayhem with the added bonus of more lame Corey Feldman dialog like this brilliant assessment of a vampire death-"Build a man a fire, he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life! "

But,the worst is yet to come,folks. During the end credits,we get to see Corey #2 in a scene meant to set off another sequel. Edgar confronts his old buddy Sam,who now really loves the nightlife and looks like forty miles of bad road for his troubles:

You might have noticed Jamison Newlander listed as Alan Frog in the cast list. He was the guy who played Feldman's brother in Lost Boys and was clipped out of this movie,only to potentially reappear in another LB flick as a vampire out to best his still human bro. Newlander does show up in both of the awful alternate endings that are special features on the DVD,in crappy horror movie make-up driving a car with painted over windows,ala Spike and Dru. Here's one of the alt endings,just to satisfy your possible curiosity(it's a longer version of the first one):

There was talk of a sequel being planned by Joel Schumacher not long after the first LB movie did well in theaters that was to be called Lost Girls(Schumacher is on record as telling the studio that this new LB movie was a bad idea),with teenage biker vampire chicks.

That concept has already been used,for a comic book series called Vamps from the late 1990s. It would be a far,far better thing to do to make those comics into a movie or another variation on the biker vampire babe theme than to churn out a third LB movie but knowing Hollywood,they'll just settle for feeding off the money spent by suckers willing to be seduced by second rate vampires:


Ladytink_534 said...

Meh. I'll get my vampire fix when True Blood starts.

Victoria said...

You mean there's no Jason Patric but both Coreys... and a random Sutherland. This movie almost sounds too bad to be true.

Does it even make a good bad movie?

lady t said...

Sorry to say,Victoria,but LB:The Tribe is just a bad bad movie. Corey Feldman delivers his lines in that tough guy tone that was amusing when he was a kid but now sounds as life like as a amusement park robot.

There are attempts at humor but they fall flatter than a pancake,with wacky Aunt Jillian(who is pretty much useless to the plot)scolding Chris by telling him"Partying all night...sleeping all day. You two kids need to stop living like a pair of vampires!" and earlier on,trying to get Chris and Nicole to watch The Goonies with her(it comes off so sad).

Worse of all,there's a shot of a shirtless sax player(to mimic Tim Cappello from the first film)who is clearly out of shape and supposed to make LB fans laugh. It made me want to cry in frustration. I hope this helps you to avoid wasting a hour and a half of your entertainment time,Victoria(nice to meet you,btw).

Hey,LadyTink,I'm waiting for True Blood,too-hope the series is as good as the books!

Victoria said...

Thanks lady t. Good to meet you too.

I'll steer well clear.

Found the blog last week and have been enjoying it. Great for procrastination from uni :-)

Ladytink_534 said...

I've seen a great bunch of clips from the show and it looks good but although I'm from the south myself "Sookie's" accent hurts my ears. I don't think they'll be as good as the books but it certainly seems like it might be really good!