Pop Culture Princess

Pop Culture Princess
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Friday, August 29, 2008

Bad Movie Month bows out with Batman & Robin


As the last days of summer movies are upon us,particularly this Labor Day Weekend,I thought it would be best to wrap up Bad Movie Month with one of the most infamous superhero film failures of our time,Batman & Robin.

I freely confess to having seen this sucker not once,but twice,when it was out in theaters(in my defense,my sister and I needed an excuse to go outside and do something,plus there really wasn't anything else that much better playing in our local movie houses).

While Batman Forever,the film before it,wasn't anywhere near as good as the Tim Burton Batman movies,the camp elements of that movie were well handled by Jim Carrey,Tommy Lee Jones and Val Kilmer. Here,we were stuck with George Clooney as the lead who gave as much gravity to his lines as Milli Vanilli did to their lip synching on stage.



Let's just take a look at some of components that made this Batman sequel sink faster than the Titanic. A hero is as only as good as the villain he/she faces and B&R delivered up three choice offerings from Rogues' Gallery for the caped crusaders to square off against:

MR. FREEZE

Arnold Schwarzenegger was not a bad pick to play the cold hearted scientist obsessed with finding a cure for his beloved wife's terminal illness so much that he was willing to turn the world into a wintery hell. Arnold had shown in T2 that he could play a villain who turns into a sympathetic hero,plus he has no qualms about making jokes at his expense.

Sadly,the direction that his character went was more of a loud mouthed cartoon stick figure who sprouted cheesy ice puns and was as threatening as a Snow Cone. Plus,one thing that never made sense to me was this scene where Vivica A. Fox plays a hench woman who flirts with Freeze,is rejected and then never seen or mentioned in the movie again! What gives? Why wouldn't she stick around,to at least give Poison Ivy some competition later on,or team up with her to take out Mrs. Freeze? Seems like a waste of Vivica's time to me(not to mention make-up and wardrobe):



POISON IVY

Uma Thurman did seem to have a good time in her role as Dr. Pamela Isley,whose love of plants took a rather toxic turn,especially for the men who received her literal kiss of death. At times,Uma was channeling Mae West but her outfits and her actions came off more like a Mae West impersonator.


Probably her best bit in the movie is Poison Ivy's entrance at the Fire and Ice Ball,where she actually apes Marlene Dietrich and causes Batman and the Boy Wonder to hold a pathetic bidding war(complete with an awful credit card joke) for her charms. It's a real relief when Mr. Freeze arrives to wreck the party:



BANE

Bane was a newer character from the comics,who was strong enough to cripple Batman for awhile and be a major menace. Here,he's used as a wind up toy,who follows Poison Ivy around to do her bidding and like a action figure,has to have his power button pushed before going into service:





As to Batman and Robin themselves,those guys spent most of the movie squabbling about one thing or another. A good portion of the dialog went along these lines:

Robin: I want to fight just as hard against the bad guys as you,Bruce!

Batman: That's fine,but you have to stay behind when it gets really,really dangerous and do what I say,because I'm older and know better,so there!

Robin: No way,Jose! I'm a big boy now and can pull up my own underoos when things go down,old man!

When they weren't doing their version of Cat's In the Cradle,the fellas fussed over Poison Ivy,with Batman catching on a little quicker that she was bad news:






BATGIRL

Where the movie truly screwed the pooch was with Bat Girl. I know that I will sound like a die hard geek here,but the origin of a comic book character being introduced for the first time on film should be done right. The true and best loved Bat Girl was Babara Gordon,daughter of Police Commissioner Gordon who followed both her father and his caped cohort in crime fighting by donning a bat suit.

She was NOT some made up niece of Alfred's(who didn't even try to use an English accent)who flirted with Robin via illegal motorbike racing. The emphasis placed on the rather form fitting latex of the bat suits was made even sleazier by Alicia Silverstone's big close up shot of her Bat Girl Butt.

Also,her fight scene with Poison Ivy was lamer than Tiny Tim's crutch. She didn't even have any good weapons to use against Bat Girl! All Ivy used were some plastic vines and a light up pen knife-even the animated versions of Ivy had better and more lethal than those tie-in toy rejects:



What makes Batman & Robin so unique in the history of bad movies is that it was so bad that the director apologized for it. Yes, folks,on the last Special Edition DVD of B&R,Joel Schumacher(who also directed Batman Forever)said he's sorry to the fans who had such high hopes for the film to be worthy of the Batman legacy:



So,as you enjoy your last summer holiday at the movies for the year,just remember than one bad movie can't bring a whole franchise down,not for long anyway. After all, Batman was able to Begin again and wow the world as The Dark Knight,even with this flick that makes the Adam West TV show look like Masterpiece Theater(see you in September,folks!):

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Project Runway gets their motor running,Shear Genius' Finale cut and pop culture locking on The Middleman



Nina Garcia wasn't on the Judges' panel at Project Runway this week,so we had two new faces-Laura Bennett from Season Three took Nina's chair and the guest spot went to Rachel Zoe,a celebrity stylist who is about to have a reality series on Bravo called The Rachel Zoe Project(catchy name,guys!).




The challenge this time around was to make an outfit out of car parts. The designers were sent to a rooftop parking lot,where Tim Gunn and a Saturn car exec had five Hybrids filled with materials used in automobile making(seat belts,floor mats,headlights,etc)and five minutes for folks to gather up as much as they could to work with.



Blayne whipped up a seat belt gown with broken rear view mirror pieces as an embellishment. He had a good concept there,but the dress was very poorly fitted on the top half(it bagged out rather noticeably under the arms)which,as Laura pointed out,was a distraction from what he was trying to portray.

The judges thought it was too long,but I think he could've gotten away with that if the dress had fitted better. At least he did put some effort into this and cut down on the "licious",altho Suede may beat him out in the Annoying Catchphrase competition with "wackadoodle."



Jerell surprised me with this interesting little ensemble made from car mats and metallic parts;it looked very sci-fi without being costumey at all. The judges liked it as well and I have to say that Jerell is one to watch for.



Korto knocked another one out of the ball park,with her dress coat that was woven with seat belts. The cross hatching she did was amazingly elegant and it really impressed the judges. I knew her outfit would do well when Tim Gunn praised it during his work room rounds,saying it had a mod look.

Terri,on the other hand,was literally rolling around on the floor laughing at the coat and comparing it to the scarecrow monster in Jeepers Creepers. I wanted Korto to win just for putting up with that.



But Leanne was the winner and she did deserve it,for not only pulling off a puffy hip little cocktail dress but that stylish trim she made for the bodice as well. Leanne played around with strips of seat belts to find an interesting way to use them and her creative fiddling really paid off.



Too bad Stella wasn't as focused;I swear,anything where she doesn't get to pound grommits into leather totally confuses her. Even during the material collecting,she took her sweet time about getting stuff,saying "I'm not moving,why should I be rushing around for?" Uh,so that you actually have something to work with? Maybe pick up an idea or two while you're doing that?

The vest and the sloppy skirt were hopelessly mismatched and Stella had a real shot at being sent home. Keith,however,earned his dismissal in more ways than one.



Not only was his outfit dull and poorly made(the back of it looked like a disaster area needing to be verified by government forces),Keith's attitude was beyond horrible. He started off with whimpering off screen how he thinks that he's more deserving of a win than anyone else and how mean the judges were to him last time.

Then,before the runway show,his model had to go to hair and make-up with the incredibly tight skirt that he made on(the top wasn't finished yet)and had to sit down,which caused the skirt to rip. Keith was mad at her for that,since he had told her not to sit down or breathe too much,saying"I thought she could follow a simple instruction." Hey,did it ever occur to you that maybe you should've put that tight as Tillie skirt on her after hair and make-up,since you didn't even have the top ready,jerko?

To add insult to injury,Keith got defensive during the judging. He mumbled loudly under his breath to Laura that she "should have seen my other work" when she mentioned his lack of focus and griped openly about how the judges hurt his feelings during the drag queen challenge. "There's criticism and there's insults." Michael Kors did a major double take and laid the smackdown on him. Lucky for Keith that Nina wasn't there or he would be limping his way out the door.

Next week,the gang creates a design for Diane Von Furstenberg-woo to the hoo! That should cause quite a stir.



No more Shortcut challenges on Shear Genius-it was finale time and after a mini mentoring session with Linda Wells of Allure magazine,the stylists got one last scissor box selection to find out which hair color they would be working with.


The challenge was to tell the story of one woman's life thru four different styles on four different ages of women(18,30,45 and 60). Each stylist had to come up with a character,choose the wardrobe for their models and had only three hours to work on all four of them at once. A pretty tall order,to be sure.



Charlie chose blonde and he came up with a story about a child star who became a big breakaway film star,then went on to win an Oscar and by her sixties,directed her first film. Not bad,and it did give Charlie the chance to show off those retro hair styles that he loves. The judges liked it,but weren't thrilled with the hairdo on the 18 year old(Kim Vo said he wanted to stuff the hole in her hair with rice and beans) or some of the other upswept looks.



Nicole told the story of her mom's life as a regular gal who wound up being happy as a wife and mother. Nice,and she did pull off a couple of great brunette looks(the bob she gave the 45 year old was her best one)but she got overwhelmed with the highlighting and coloring during the challenge. The last look she did for the eldest of her models came off as unfinished,to say the least.



Dee had red to work with and created a tale about a rock n' roll singer who morphed over the years into a hip grandma music producer called "Momma Red". She had fun with this challenge and despite the time crunch,managed to put together a very cohesive look for all of her models. My personal favorite was the one for the 45 year old;the moment I saw it,I said "Cher!"(she did have that cut during her "Believe" stint). It completed the model's face perfectly.



So,who won? Dee was declared to be Shear Genius and deliriously happy about that. So was I and Yah! for Daniel,who was voted as the Fan Favorite(sweet). Congrats to Dee and best of luck to you and your mom. You both deserve it.




The Middleman will be closing up shop next week,but hopefully this will not be the last we hear from this quirky little show. It's not just a smartly written and charmingly well acted blend of comedy and sci-fi,this is a program that really knows how to take a pop culture iconic football and really run with it.

This week's episode had a great hour long riff on the "Die Hard" film series and this is not the first time that they've played off on a movie riff or other similar themes. Check out these clips and see what you've been missing:

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?



WHERE'S A DELORIAN WHEN YOU NEED ONE?



AND OF COURSE,THE OBLIGATORY JOHNNY CASH REFERENCE



RANDOM NOTES:



MAD MEN: Don's drive to the beach leads to a car accident which leads him to call upon Peggy and lead to more of a peak behind the curtain that still veils the mystery about what happened to her baby with Pete(it did look like her sister was raising the kid,but now I'm not so sure about that).

Meanwhile at the office,Don's new secretary gets an eyeful of the level of sophistication she can expect to see on the job:



TOP DESIGN: Season 2 of Bravo's answer to Design Star premieres next week,in Shear Genius's former time slot. It looks like they've hired a new host and perhaps have spruced things up from the last time around,to make this competition a bit more interesting:

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fall back into some serious reading this September and October



With Labor Day fast approaching,now is the time to start those preparations for the fall season. This requires more than just marking those important dates on your calendar(like the season premiere of Heroes on Sept.22!)or gathering up those coupons and sales fliers for back to school shopping savings.

Yes,folks,it is time to find those books that will gear up your brain for the to-be-taken seriously mindset of autumn. This doesn't mean that you can't have some fun but just like the movie coming to theaters near you,the summer blockbusters need to be put away to make room for the Oscar bait.


MURDEROUS MYSTERY TOUR



Starting the season off with a bang on September 2 is Brad Meltzer's Book Of Lies,the thriller which combines Cain and Abel along with the creation of Superman and the mysterious death of Mitchel Siegel,father of Jerry who brought the Man of Steel to life.

I've already put in my two cents on this one,but if you want to hear a few more endorsements,then check out this video preview that has quite a interesting cast of literary/television folk who are very willing to read all about it:





Also arriving on September 2 is Sweetheart,Chelsea Cain's follow-up to her brilliantly bloody book,Heartsick. Detective Archie Sheridan is back on the job and no longer paying regular visits to Gretchen Lowell,the seductive serial killer who took great pleasure in torturing him until his near death.

Gretchen is still on his mind,however,as a new case turns up that holds some similarities to one of her earlier crimes. Things get even worse when Gretchen breaks out of jail and the number one item on her to-do list is to get reacquainted with the one that she let get away.



A major league debut of the first of three novels will be coming to America by September 16. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson made quite an impression on European audiences,with it's intricate story of an investigation into the thirty year old disappearance of a young high society girl and the deadly secrets that a deeper look into the case reveal.

The author passed away in 2004,leaving this novel and two follow-ups to be published post humorously. Hopefully,plenty of readers will want to read more once they've had a taste of this darkly rich delight.



For those of you who have fond memories of Nelson Demille's The Gold Coast,his millionaire meets mobster novel,it is my great pleasure to inform you that a sequel to that book will be out by October 28.

The Gate House begins with John Sutter returning back to his old stomping grounds in Long Island after many years abroad,to attend the funeral of an former family servanat. During his stay,John runs into his ex wife Susan,who has also returned to the old neighborhood along with Anthony Bellarosa,the son of their former friend(and Susan's ex-lover)Frank. Anthony is less than thrilled with the both of them and has payback plans to exact upon the Sutters. The Gold Coast was,and is,one of my favorite Demille novels and I have very high hopes and expectations for this book to deliver the goods.


GOOD WILL READING



M. Ann Jacoby's Life After Genius introduces us to Theodore Mead Fegley,a burgeoning young whiz kid who is on his way to making his mark in the world of higher mathematics. Yet,only a few days before his graduation, Theodore packs up and heads out to his home back in Illinois. His reasons for this are unknown to everyone,except for a former classmate with ruthless ambition.

Theodore decides to throw himself into learning the family business(furniture sales and embalming the dead)while fighting off his private demons. This sounds a Good Will Hunting for readers and it's about time that we got one,if you ask me(October):



HISTORICAL DOCUDRAMAS



Author Kathleen Kent uses her family history as inspiration for this fictional look back at the Salem witch trials in The Heretic's Daughter. Kent is a tenth generation descendant of Martha Carrier,one of the first to be accused and tried for witchcraft.

The novel is narrated by Sarah Carrier,who suffers along with her mother as the two of them are victimized by the fears and superstitions of their once friendly neighbors who have been driven into a hysterical frenzy by those who seek to control others by sheer force of will. This is one book that should provide a bounty of food for thought to reading groups everywhere(September):








Dennis Lehane is best known for such Boston based crime novels as Mystic River and Gone,Baby,Gone but with his new book,The Given Day,he's decided to expand his usual playing field and take a turn back in time. Set in the post-WWI era,the story follows two men whose worlds become connected and clash together during the infamous Boston Police Strike of 1919.

Danny Coughlin is a beat cop whose father is a well liked and influential police captain and is looking to get ahead under his own steam. Luther Lawrence works for the Coughlins and despite being on the run from a vicious crime boss back in Tulsa,wants to find his way home to his pregnant wife.

Several real life historical figures are blended into the book,including Eugene O'Neill,W.E.B. DuBois and Babe Ruth. I'm still in the early chapters of the book but the Babe Ruth section,where he and his fellow ball players turn an innocent pick up game with a group of African Americans into a sad state of affairs,is riveting and realistically depicted. You won't want to miss on this(September 23).



Dream City by Brendan Short takes us to Chicago in 1934,where a six year old boy named Michael Halligan gets a severe reality check when his mother dies and Paddy,his thuggish gangster father,undermines him at every turn.

Michael's main source of comfort is in the heroes that abound in the pages of Little Big books,guys like Buck Rodgers,Dick Tracy,Red Ryder and a host of other comic book creations. He begins a lifelong pursuit to find every Little Big title in existence and perhaps some true peace of mind in the bargain. This quirky debut novel should charm both lit lovers and comic book fans alike(October 28).

A TRILOGY WELL TOLD



The final chapter of Cornelia Funke's Inkworld trilogy,Inkdeath,will be released this October and we will soon learn the fates of Meggie and Mo,as they try to escape the fictional world they've been cast into due to their own magical ability to bring people and objects in and out of books as they read aloud.

The first film to be made from this series,Inkheart,is due in multiplexes by early next year and will hopefully get a better reception than the Golden Compass did by critics and readers. It certainly deserves to be just as widely read and loved as the Harry Potter books.

THE MUSE WHO MEOWED



Dogs have been having their day and then some on the bestseller lists,and I think it's time for a cat to roar upon the literary scene. Dewey:The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched The World by Vicki Myron may be the one to turn the tide for the feline community to get it's due.

Myron tells the story of Dewey Readmore Books,the official library cat of the Spencer City Library in Iowa,who was found one morning by her after being stuffed thru the returned books slot the freezing night before. The chilled kitten was adopted by the staff and grew up to become an integral part of the community and the library.

Sadly,Dewey passed away in 2006 but his tale will always be remembered by those who loved him and had their lives enriched by his presence. This memoir is not only a loving tribute but will hopefully open the doors for more library cats to gain a place in the spotlight,like Browser,who rules the roost at the Pine River Library in Minnesota:



Happy Fall reading,folks and don't forget to enjoy the outdoor delights of the season as well;falling leaves are the best part of it and they make interesting bookmarks,too.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Liven up your school lunches,the pop culture way



While watching Food Network late last night(it's a good way to get pleasant images into your head before entering dream land),I saw an item on one show that we actually have in my house. There's a company that makes food containers for kid's lunches which are shaped and/or designed like the actual name brand products,to keep the food from getting squished during transport.

My mom uses one of their Wonder bread sandwich holders,which does work very well. They also have Pepperidge Farm Goldfish containers,Pop Tart holders and Chester Cheetah heads for Cheetos. This lead me to thinking about the good ol' lunch box of yore-the one back to school item that was actually fun to shop for.



I thought it might be fun to take a look at some of the past,present and possible future designs of pop culture related lunch boxes. One of the classics of lunch box iconography is the Scooby Doo lunch box,which most folks know was a favorite of Duddits from the godawful film version of Dreamcatcher(I love Stephen King's work but even that book was hard to read,a rarity to be sure).

I never had a Scooby Doo one,even tho I did like the cartoon. Back when I was in grade school, we still had metal lunch boxes which could be pretty dangerous in the wrong hands.



I owned a Peanuts one that was red,with Snoopy on the front side,resting on his doghouse and a small panel of a weekly strip in one corner. One day,I was being hassled at school(the details are rather fuzzy in my memory banks)and wound up using my Snoopy box as a weapon of self defense(not the recommended use that the company intended)and got in trouble for it.

Fortunately,the kid I hit wasn't severely injured and since I was usually the kind of person who got the worst handed to her during these things,my mother was not mad at me for fighting back. She told the principal so and we went out to celebrate. One of my better school moments of playground triumph.



By the time my younger sister was of school age,plastic lunch boxes were the norm. I don't recall any that she owned then,but nowadays she does have a Kill Bill lunch box with thermos(she also has Kill Bill shot glasses,strictly for decorative purposes). It's the kind that people own as a collectible rather than an actual food carrier,which has become pretty popular these days.



What is considered collectible is in the eye of the beholder. A couple of years ago,I was lucky enough to come across a thermos from a Batman:The Animated Series lunch box at a church rummage sale.

Now,some might not have bothered with such an item(especially since it was sans lunch box)but as a fan of the show,I was happy to snatch that baby up. Also,the design of the logo is really quite sophisticated for a mass produced drink container,in my humble opinion. Perhaps I will find the box that goes with at another rummage sale or thrift store,with any more luck.

Well,regardless of the changing times and materials,lunch is one of those daily routines that never truly goes away. Of course,you don't need a fancy box with pop culture pictures on it to express your individuality but it does provide a nice distraction from the possibly odd food choices you have tucked inside in from the public at large:

Monday, August 25, 2008

Tap your toes to the tunes of Twirock!



Many Harry Potter fans are familiar with wizard rock,the musical subgenre of rock bands that take on the personae of characters from the HP books and write/sing original songs based on them. The first,and best known,was Harry and the Potters(and yes,there is a group called Draco and the Malfoys)and now,there are literally dozens upon dozens of other HP based musical combos out there.

Taking a cue from that movement is a new type of music known as Twirock. The Twi stands for Twilight,as in the Stephenie Meyer series. Just like the wizard rockers,many of the Twirock folk perform in public and have CD albums available for their fans to purchase.



One of these is an all-girl group called The Bella Cullen Project,which is based in Texas and had their first performance at a midnight release party for the third book in the series,Eclipse. The BCP has just released their debut CD last month and here is a video for the second song on the playlist called "Out of the Blue". These girls have a pretty good set of pipes and could certainly give the likes of the Pussycat Dolls a real run for their money:





A more recent release is "Diary of a Forks Girl" from Bella Rocks! fronted by Katie Parr. Just looking over the title list she has makes me want to listen to her tunes-who could not want to hear a tune named "The Vampire Baseball Song",honestly? In listening to this pro-Jacob(she does profess to be more of an Edward fan) song,"Changing",you get a very folksy vibe off of her:





Guys like Twilight,too as the Mitch Hansen Band proves all too well. Their album,Twilight Hour,is downloadable from iTunes and also out on CD.

I found a clip of a recent performance they did at a Breaking Dawn Prom midnight release party. It amuses me to no end,seeing people rock out in a book store. The song the guys are singing is "Jacob Black" and it's from Edward's p.o.v.,so it's the complete opposite of "Changing":





I think that both wizard rock and Twirock are great creative outlets for fans of the books and are further encouraging a open love of reading. However,some of the wizard rock people are not thrilled by their moonlit cousins and have been sniping at them in public. During a recent wizard rock panel discussion,a few members of different wizard rock groups called the Twirock movement and the book series,"The Hannah Montana of literature."

People,that is so not cool. Yes,you came first and all of that,but surely you received some mocking and flack from those who thought what you were doing to be juvenile,too. Don't you think that it would be more in line with the spirit of the Potter books to be helpful,not hurtful? There is no doubt in my mind that if J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer were to meet up somewhere for lunch,the two of them would get along fabulously. Also,neither of them would want their fans to be fighting with each other.



Twirock has got me thinking about what songs would be appropriate for each book and my personal picks for a tune that best defines the theme of each of the novels.

For the original Twilight,I went for one of my favorite songs from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer's musical episode,"Under Your Spell". Tara's declaration of love for Willow is similar to Bella's amazement at falling in love with Edward and how he could find her to be worthy of him,given his otherworldly beauty and charms.

With the follow-up duet that Tara later has with Giles,as she discovers the dark side of her beloved,the song is also a good reflection of the consequences that both Bella and Edward must face to deal with the realities of their situation:





New Moon has two different threads,Bella's dealing with Edward leaving her and her extended period of emotional mourning and her recovery from that by connecting with Jacob Black,who turns out to be a real rival for her affections.

To take the first half of that by the reins,my choice is Heart's "Alone". The song is perhaps a tad overly dramatic but then again,what young woman doesn't feel that way about her first big break-up(or her second,third,etc?). Plus,you can't go wrong with the sisters Wilson:



The natural choice for the rest is "Two Princes" and combined with one of the many Gilmore Girls love triangles,this video suits New Moon to a T:





"Two Princes" carries over to Eclipse,which I'm in the middle of reading at the moment. The tussle between Edward and Jacob for Bella's heart is pretty intense and at different times,I have more sympathy for one or the other.

Edward's over protectiveness of Bella gets to be very controlling at certain points and while she does call him on it,I do get the urge to give Edward one of those Moonstruck smacks in the face and tell him "Snap out of it!" Since I can't do that,the next best thing is to use the modern Police classic"Every Breath You Take" as a highlighter for his bad behavior:





Soon enough,I will be able to read Breaking Dawn and either share in the joy or the sorrow that most of the Twilight fans have already been(and still are)discussing amongst themselves. It's too soon to figure out what song will be like the porridge that Goldilocks chose for BD,but perhaps a Twirock band will have a couple of new tunes out for it by the time I'm done.

Regardless, the real winners here are the worlds of reading and music,who are now walking hand in hand with one another and leading a new generation of readers/music lovers into an interesting new realm of creative experience. With such a broad new horizon,we can all get our happy ending:

Friday, August 22, 2008

Bad Movie Month refuses to be a member of this Tribe



Sequels tend to get a bad rap and sometimes,it's more than justified. Especially sequels that follow up on the original movie over a decade later after it's first theatrical release and double that if it's a direct to video release.

Sometimes points are awarded if an original cast member comes in to reprise their role but in the case of the Coreys,you have to subtract rather than add. Lost Boys: The Tribe is all of those things and a lot more. A lot more worse.



Let's start off with the vampires in this sad little suckfest of a flick. The head vamp here is Shane(played by Angus Sutherland,half brother of Kiefer),who leads around a bunch of surfer boys that find it amusing to stab each other in the stomach and film the messy results on their video camera(real brain trust there).

Shane is supposed to be this sexy,charismatic leader,in the mode of David,the first Lost Boy top dog memorably played by Kiefer Sutherland. Alas,little brother Angus has all of the sexual charisma of a pound of headcheese and none of the charm to boot.



After slaughtering Tom Savini(making a confusing cameo as a vampire,particularly since he was a vamp in the From Dusk Til Dawn films and not a part of the original Lost Boys at all)and taking over his swanky beach house,the fang gang then targets two potential new recruits,a brother and sister act.

Chris(Tad Hilgenbrink)and Nicole(Autumn Reeser)turn out to the kids of Michael and Star from the first movie who didn't need to appear in this travesty in order to pay their rent so they've been conveniently killed off screen,in a car accident. The teenage orphans move to Luna Bay,where their wacky Aunt Jillian lets them rent a rundown house at a discount(what a generous gal!)and the kids hit the beach to find work and make a few friends(Nicole has no trouble in the latter half of that goal):





Nicole runs into Shane at a party and after being dazzled by a cheesy flower trick,drinks from his handy flask of blood and instantly starts to vamp out. Chris is confused by what's happening to her but after fighting off a local vampirella with a set of wall mounted antlers,he realizes the truth and seeks some expert assistance.



That's when the first Corey pops in,as the adult version of Edgar Frog,surfboard shaper and vampire hunter who is also a licensed online minister which allows him the power to bless holy water. Edgar gives Chris such words of wisdom as "Your sister's a suck monkey!" and "Smell that? Fungus and death....vampire B.O."



The fellas then come up with a plan to save Nicole by having Chris play double agent and join up with the surfer vamps only to betray them at the last minute.

While Nicole is freaked out by her newfound taste for blood("Do you know how disgusting that is? I'm a vegetarian!" she whines at one point),that doesn't stop her from being enthralled by Shane and bumping uglies with him to the horrendous sounds of a new cover of "Cry Little Sister"(take a listen,if you dare):





This all ends in boring blood and mayhem with the added bonus of more lame Corey Feldman dialog like this brilliant assessment of a vampire death-"Build a man a fire, he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life! "

But,the worst is yet to come,folks. During the end credits,we get to see Corey #2 in a scene meant to set off another sequel. Edgar confronts his old buddy Sam,who now really loves the nightlife and looks like forty miles of bad road for his troubles:




You might have noticed Jamison Newlander listed as Alan Frog in the cast list. He was the guy who played Feldman's brother in Lost Boys and was clipped out of this movie,only to potentially reappear in another LB flick as a vampire out to best his still human bro. Newlander does show up in both of the awful alternate endings that are special features on the DVD,in crappy horror movie make-up driving a car with painted over windows,ala Spike and Dru. Here's one of the alt endings,just to satisfy your possible curiosity(it's a longer version of the first one):






There was talk of a sequel being planned by Joel Schumacher not long after the first LB movie did well in theaters that was to be called Lost Girls(Schumacher is on record as telling the studio that this new LB movie was a bad idea),with teenage biker vampire chicks.

That concept has already been used,for a comic book series called Vamps from the late 1990s. It would be a far,far better thing to do to make those comics into a movie or another variation on the biker vampire babe theme than to churn out a third LB movie but knowing Hollywood,they'll just settle for feeding off the money spent by suckers willing to be seduced by second rate vampires: