Top Chef lights a fire in Chicago,Idol takes on the Beatles,part I and New Amsterdam gains ground

Top Chef started it's fourth season in a tasty manner,having the new set of competing chef meet up at the original Pizzeria Uno for a get together lunch. Their talk time was short lived,as Padma and Chef Tom showed up to deliver the first Quickfire,which was for the chefs to create their own version of a deep dish pizza and bring to the mystery guest judge for tasting.



The guest judge turned out to be Rocco DiSpirito,who chose among his favorites Richard's peach taleggio pizza with a sweet tea sauce. Sounds weird to me but apparently the guy pulled it off. Another odd ingredient was marmite from Mark,a New Zealander(the chefs were allowed to use special ingredients that they brought with them in this challenge)which is known to be rather bitter but Rocco was pleased to discover that it tasted great mixed with chicken and zucchini as a deep dish filling.



After the tasting,the chefs were divided into winning and losing teams that had some significance the next day for the Elimination Challenge. The winners of the QF had a knife pull to see in which order they would get to choose a classic dish to cook against a member of the losing team. The dish choices included duck ala orange,lasagna,eggs benedict,steak poivre,chicken piccata and souffle.



Souffle was the last dish to be chosen,due to the degree of difficulty in making one as Eric and Zoi found out the hard way. At least Zoi was smart enough to make a dessert plate,using rice pudding and a shot of espresso. Eric whipped up a pepper jack cheese number that used mashed potatoes as a base(way too heavy for a light pastry like this).



An even worse mistake was made by Ryan,who was supposed to prepare a chicken piccata which is made with egg and flour,not breadcrumbs! Breadcrumbs turn it into chicken cutlets,big time. Ryan acted very defensive about his dish,making Chef Tom wonder if Ryan knew his cooking basics. Anthony Bourdain was a special guest judge for the Elim round but it was Rocco who got in a real good quip-"it's not just his gnocchi that was dense." OUCH!



First to pack her knives and go,however,was Nimma for oversalting her shrimp scampi and under salting her pizza. You gotta watch those condiments,people-it's a surefire way to get kicked off a cooking competition if you forget to do your basic seasonings there.



The winner of the first Elimination Challenge was Stephanie,for making a duck ala orange with spring rolls. They didn't mention if she won immunity for the next round or not(I hope they don't decide to do away with that!)but it's a good start for her.

At this point,I can't really root for anyone just yet but Mark,with his Kiwi cooking style,is an early contender for me(even if his duck dish flopped). The biggest jerk so far is Andrew with his constant whining and complaining. Granted,I was with him when Richard used more than one deep dish for the pizza challenge,leaving Andrew scrambling about to find something to use.

Later on,tho,Andrew was up against Richard to prepare crab cakes and got all paranoid and snotty about there not being any mayo in the TC kitchen. Andrew had bought some during the Whole Foods shopping run and when he saw that Andrew was in need,helped him make some mayo and even offered his own store bought supply. Andrew had nothing but 'tude during the entire thing. Hey, buddy,maybe you should've checked what was in stock before going to the store!

Well, this season looks pretty promising so far and with Hell's Kitchen due back on by early April,we should have some hot times with the cooking competitions this spring.



I have a couple of questions for American Idol-first,do you really need to have Beatles songs(and/or tunes written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon)for two weeks? Isn't one week enough,particularly for some of these songs to be put thru the wringer? Plus,isn't Jim Carrey a big enough of a movie star to just make an appearance on the show without having to dress up like a third rate amusement park mascot?



The big news on the show this week was David Archuleta forgetting the lyrics to his song. I know most people have already given him the AI crown here,but you guys have to remember that when it comes to Idol,nothing is written in stone. The kid's only human after all and while I do think he has the potential to make to the Final Two,the strongest singer to beat(in my humble opinion) is Carly Smithson.

I do miss Danny Noriega and wish he could've made it to Beatles week,but he's going to do very well for himself,thanks to all of the publicity. Good luck,kid!



Enough with the nice;this week's Sanjaya award winner is Kristy Lee Cook,who barely escaped elimination for her country style take on "Eight Days a Week". David Hernandez's "I Saw Her Standing There" was lousy and boring but not as horrifying as listening to Kristy mangle the melody here. Hon,just because you can sing best in a certain genre,that doesn't mean you have to make every song sound that way.

Also,I don't think it was fair of Seacrest and Paula to try and blame Simon for Kristy's country singing. All of the judges have been telling her that she's good at that,not just Simon! Put the blame on Mame,not Simon Cowell:

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH DAYS IN A WEEK TO MAKE THIS SOUND GOOD



THIS ROCKS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK



Carly Smithson gave the best performance this week with "Come Together" but I have to admit that Chikezie was surprisingly good with "She's a Woman". A clever move on his part to take a lesser known song and completely make it his own. Brooke White's choice of "Let It Be" was much better suited to her style than the tunes she's been picking the last couple of weeks. Of course,I loved Amanda Overmeyer's "You Can't Do That"-I noticed that she doesn't make gender changes when she picks her songs,which I like. That "Me and Mr. Jones" deal didn't fly well with me,plus I find it very distracting-a reminder that the song was not originally meant for this singer.

WAY TO GO,CHIKEZIE!



COME TOGETHER FOR CARLY



AMANDA CAN DO THAT,AND MORE





I've seen three episodes of New Amsterdam so far,and this show is really worth watching,folks. You might think that the premise(immortal man seeks his one true love to make him mortal while working as a NYC detective)would quickly wear thin but it doesn't. Instead,we get some interesting complexities,such as one of John Amsterdam's
best allies being his son Omar,who ages like the rest of us and confronted his father over whether or not he really loved his mother during the second episode.

That conflict was thoughtfully and emotional dealt with,plus having Amsterdam use his long memory of historical experiences to deal with the cases that he gets is turning out to be a handy detail that enhances the plots,not a crutch for them to lean on:



Random Notes:

Smallville: We get a new episode tonight and it has a very special guest,Pete! Yes, Pete Ross returns to see his old friends and winds up with some kypto powers to show off. That attracts attention from Lex,which never leads to anything good:

Are there are any real sisters out there in Pop Culture Land?

This week,Fox will be debuting a new female friendly show called The Return of Jezebel James,starring Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose as estranged sisters who reunite so that the younger one can be the surrogate mother for her big sis. Despite the fact that Jezebel James is a new creation from Amy Sherman-Palladino & Daniel Palladino(and I am a current Gilmore Girls junkie),I have no desire to sit thru this sucker for one red hot minute.

Granted,part of that reason is due to the presence of Parker Posey,who is one of the most instantly irritating people on the planet,but my main objection to this show is the rather fake bond of sisterhood that emanates off the promos in overly perfumed waves of sitcom set-up. I find it hard to believe that these two ladies are sisters in any sense of the word. Not only is the get together gimmick for these characters a bit much(altho I do know that some folks do this kind of thing in real life)but the two of them act more like they've been thrown together on a blind date than meant to be siblings:





Snarky sisters are one of the biggest cliches in movies and TV,and while it is true that sisters do fight from time to time(I've had my share of bouts with my own little sister to earn a pair of Golden Gloves there),it's not as pervasive or as dramatic as most entertainment venues would have you think.

I can't totally blame writers or producers for jazzing up the feuding and the fussing that sisters fall prey to;after all,what's more amusing,a fight over who did the dishes the last time or a battle over the same man who both women claim as theirs? It certainly makes history lessons that much more fun,plus I find that it bugs my sister when I qoute from The Other Boleyn Girl-"We are sisters,and therefore,born to be rivals!":





My notions of sisterly behavior comes from more old fashioned sources;the biggest literary influence upon my life is Little Women,the still classic template for any story involving four gals facing life's challenges together(just think of The Golden Girls,Sex and the City or even The Facts of Life and tell me that the four main characters couldn't be easily categorized as a Jo,Meg,Beth or Amy).

There's a twenty year age difference between me and my sister but Little Women did make me long to have one around much sooner. I always wanted to be Jo,the tempestuous tomboy who longed to be a great writer but in truth,I'm more like Meg,the practical minded older sister who hesitates before taking a big chance. One thing about the March sisters that does ring true is their spirit of fun,especially when they're united on a good cause:






Also,when I was first getting into Jane Austen,Sense & Sensibility hit home with me on so many levels. Elinor Dashwood,the emotionally restrained older sister who puts her own heart aside out of respect for the promise that the man she loves gave to another long before the two of them met,I understood all too well. Marianne,the impulsively open with her feelings gal reminds me of my sister,who fortunately has had the good luck not to have had a Willoughby in her life.

While I look forward to the new miniseries version of S&S that is scheduled to be on PBS' Complete Jane Austen series, the 1995 film version directed by Ang Lee and adapted by Emma Thompson(who stars as Elinor)is a die hard favorite Austen movie of mine. Thompson's performance in particular,is most moving with her blend of duty and heartbreak when it comes to her own romance or helping her sister cope with the aftermath of her disastrous courtship with Willoughby:






Out of all the more modern depictions of sisterhood,I would have to choose Roseanne as tops in showing what real relationships amongst sisters are like,both in the older and younger generations. Roseanne and Jackie's battles over life choices were well reflected in Becky and Darlene's bouts of sibling rivalry over the seasons.

Altho the show fell into serious waters amidst the laughs at times,one of it's strengths was the close knit bond between Roseanne and Jackie. Even when the later seasons of the show jumped the shark,you could always count on a good sister scene between the two of them:






So while The Return of Jezebel James may not herald the return of a good show about sisters,it's not a sign of total despair for the subject matter. Clearly,there is still some interest in seeing siblings bond for better or worse. Hopefully,we will get a worthwhile look at sisterhood someday soon. In the meantime,we can reminisce about some of our favorite pop culture sisters,like Wonder Woman and her sister Drusilla,aka Wonder Girl,who may not be entirely accurate to the source material but were a strong set of super siblings indeed:

So,Madonna,you're a Rock N'Roll Hall of Famer-what are you not going to sing for us next?

Last night,Madonna was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame,along with John Mellencamp(who I still think of as John Cougar Mellencamp) and The Dave Clark Five amongst others. However,she refused to perform any of her songs and had Iggy Pop and the Stooges sing "Ray of Light" and "Burning Up". What is up with that,I'd like to know! It's not like she wasn't able to attend or had any problems with her voice.

I suspect this is just another one of Madonna's attempts to be contrary in public to get folks talking about her yet again. We're used to that by now,but this is the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame,an honor not to be taken lightly. Everyone else who can be there to accept this tribute does perform;Mellencamp did. Also,it's not like anyone objects to her being inducted-love her or hate her,it would be silly to deny the impact she's made on music and the music industry over the past couple of decades.

Well,Mo,if you're not going to give us a musical tribute,then I have no choice but to put together one for you. These may not be the songs that you want folks to instantly think of(not to mention some of your movies)when your name comes up,but maybe you should've thought of that ahead of time,honey!

WHO'S THAT GIRL?

Something that Madonna is no doubt praying that anyone doesn't ask when seeing her face these days or in the near future. This title tune from her 1987 unfunny film flop was rather catchy and I do like the cartoon Betty Boop-ish version of Madonna that was featured in the opening credits;too bad the rest of the movie went downhill from there:



DIE ANOTHER DAY

Madonna's Bond movie song,which was controversial due to her use of Hebrew letters as some sort of personal insignia in the video which ,given her interest in Kabbalah studies,didn't seem very respectful. This song did win her an award,a Golden Raspberry for Worst Song. It's certainly not one of the better Bond inspired theme songs,that's for sure:





HANKY PANKY

I have to admit that I really do like the music"from and inspired by" the movie Dick Tracy,in which Madonna played Breathless Mahoney. One of the songs that was clearly inspired was this passionate plea for a man to"treat me like I'm a bad girl,even when I'm being good to you." I could so make a few jokes about the current sex scandal with Gov. Spitzer right about now:



DON'T CRY FOR ME

I'm ashamed to say that the only version of Evita that I've ever seen is the film adaptation with Madonna as the lead. It was not a pleasant experience;I felt like I was being hit by a runaway train both on an audio and a visual level. Madonna may be alot of things but a Broadway style singer she is not:



HUNG UP

One of Madonna's latest numbers,where she insists on showing the world just how limber she still is. Hey,it's great that she is in such good physical shape but do we really need to see her mount a boombox like that to prove it? Paris,take a long hard look here-this could be you in twenty years,an old party girl still hitting the clubs. Not a pretty picture,is it?:



WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL

As a finale,let us look at one of Madonna's most "WTF?!" videos ever. There's not much of a song being sung here and while you can claim that is simply an excuse for Madonna and her current husband Guy Ritchie to show off their mutual love of shocking audiences,to me,it's just an example of two false fronts reflecting off of one another. Madonna has as much insight into what it feels like for a girl as Daniel Plainview does for the milkshake of human kindness:

Having tasted Twilight,Stephenie Meyer's The Host becomes more inviting

This weekend,I celebrated the departure of a particularly nasty cold by finishing up Twilight,the first volume of YA author Stephenie Meyer's vampire romance saga. The torn between two worlds teen love story has been gathering a steady following not only amongst the intended targeted audience but to many adult readers as well.

As a Buffy fan,I'm no stranger to the joys of rediscovering the joys and woes of adolescence via supernatural fantasy but it did take me awhile to finally pick this book up. There have been plenty of vampire/witch/fairy themed tales aimed at the adult market with varying themes of humor and pathos blended in to occupy my time and indulge my tastes for bloodsucking bad boys. However,a few of them have become rather routine(*cough*Laurell K. Hamilton*cough*)and overly raunchy lately,so I decided to see what all of the fuss was about with Twilight.



The leading lady of this story is Isabella,aka Bella,Swan who at age 17,decides to stay with her father Charlie,a small town sheriff,while her mother settles upon where she and her new husband will be living,in their hometown of Forks,Washington.


Bella doesn't expect much from either her dad or Forks but winds up getting more than she bargained for after meeting Edward Cullen,a mysterious young man who is a member of an even more mysterious family that has settled down in the area for the last couple of years and keeps mostly to themselves.

At first,Edward seems to hate Bella on sight and she's willing to return the favor but soon enough,the attraction that both feel towards each other is too hard to resist. Bella also gets a clue that Edward is more than he seems when he is almost magically able to save her from the path of a crashing truck in the high school parking lot.



Edward eventually revels his secret;he and the Cullens are vampires who prefer not to feed on human blood. Instead,they hunt down wild animals to quench their thirst and live as peacefully as they can with humans. Sunlight doesn't harm them,it makes their skin glow upon direct contact(which is why they chose to live in the North,where there's less chance of being exposed as unnatural).

Edwards fears that his suppressed bloodlust will rise up to harm Bella but she's only afraid of not being part of his life at all. The real dangers of mixing with the vampire world come from an not totally unexpected visit from three strangers who don't share the Cullen family's philosophy regarding live and let live when it comes to humans.



Just recently on Project Runway,Michael Kors claimed that one of the outfits created for a challenge had "the mojo". Well,Stephenie Meyer certainly has her share of the word mojo and then some. From page one,you're hooked onto Bella's narrative and are willing to follow her where ever she goes. The relationship that develops between her and Edward never feels like a gothic soap opera;it is both charmingly old fashioned and bizarrely believable all at once.

A film version of Twilight is in the works,which is wisely cast with newcomers(Edward Cullen is being played by Robert Pattinson,best known as the doomed Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Kristen Stewart is Bella Swan,whose latest role was in Into The Wild)and should do very well in theaters in my humble opinion.

One of the strengths of Twilight is the sheer sincerity that comes across from the author towards the characters and the situations that they're in. Meyer treats her creations with respect. for both them and the reader,which makes getting into the story that much more enjoyable:





Another reason that I wanted to read Twilight was to see what her writing was really like before I tackled her new novel,The Host. It's a sci-fi book meant for an adult audience but no doubt her younger fans will be just as eager to get their hands on it along with the next installment of the Twilight series,Breaking Dawn(due out this August).

The Host is an Invasion of the Body Snatchers type of tale,told from the viewpoint of the alien invader who becomes more connected to her human host than it was prepared to. This fan made video does a very good job of explaining the plot and if this book does get the big screen treatment,Hollywood might want to check this clip out for a few good casting decisions:





The Host will be on sale May 6,and if you're not into vampires but want to try something new and exciting in the fantasy realm,I urge you to keep this book in mind. I plan to review The Host(and do a preview for it with my May/June book picks)this spring and it's one of the more fun challenges that I have before me.

So,yes,it's official-I am a Stephenie Meyer fan. Time to play catch-up with the other two books in the series(the copy of Twilight I read was borrowed from Booksfree and with any luck,they have New Moon and Eclipse on their lending library list)and fortunately for me,I have The Host on hand to keep me mentally sated. Funny how such an ancient topic as vampires can pump fresh blood and imaginative life for both the younger and older fans of the genre to bring them together.

More Memoir Madness and it's connection to Mansfield Park

The big scandal this week on the literary circuit has been the outing of Margaret B. Jones aka Margaret Seltzer,who recently published a memoir called Love and Consequences which claimed ,among other things, that she was a half Native American foster child who wound up being a drug runner for the Bloods. Turns out that was a total fairy tale as Seltzer's sister busted her after reading about the book in the papers and informing the publisher that none of it was true.

This comes on the heels of another fake memoir being exposed last week,by a woman who put out a phony Holocaust survivor story. The usual shocked reactions are going around but the only one I was concerned about was Janice Erlbaum's. As some of you may remember,I reviewed her newest memoir Have You Found Her and she is currently out on book tour to promote it. It's a wonderful book and unlike Love and Consequences,is completely verifiable.


I checked on her blog Girlbomb and she's not shy about her disapproval over this whole sorry mess. Who could blame her? It's hard enough to expose your inner feelings and personal experiences out on paper,for everyone to see and judge for themselves without the additional burden of folks like Seltzer and James Frey casting ginormous shadows of doubt over the entire genre. Of course,there's one question that everyone asks when stuff like this happens and that is "Why? Can't they just put it out as fiction instead of pretending to be a true story?"

Most folks respond with the typical response of "oh,memoirs sell better than fiction,it's all about the money." I really don't think that covers it entirely ,especially since some of these exposed writers come from privileged backgrounds. The heart of the answer I think lies within the pages of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park.



Before your eyebrows are raised any higher,let me explain-in considering this sadly growing trend,Henry Crawford came to mind. For those of you unfamiliar with the book,Henry is a philandering fellow who arrives into the neighborhood with his charmingly snarky sister Mary and plays flirtation games with two of the Bertram sisters,causing not only increased rivalry but extra tension since one of the girls is already engaged to another man.

That whole scenario comes to a standstill,with the engaged Bertram girl marrying the man she was already promised to due to Henry's not wanting to truly commit to her. Later on in the book,Henry comes back into the area and decides to amuse himself by trying to add the heroine of the piece,Fanny Price,onto his list of conquests. During
the course of his attempted romance,Fanny's brother William comes to visit during a break from his duties in the Navy.

William is called upon by his relatives to share his experiences at sea,which make quite an impression on everyone and this in particular to Henry:

"To Henry Crawford they gave a different feeling. He longed to have been at sea, and seen and done and suffered as much. His heart was warmed, his fancy fired, and he felt the highest respect for a lad who, before he was twenty, had gone through such bodily hardships and given such proofs of mind. The glory of heroism, of usefulness, of exertion, of endurance, made his own habits of selfish indulgence appear in shameful contrast; and he wished he had been a William Price, distinguishing himself and working his way to fortune and consequence with so much self–respect and happy ardour, instead of what he was!"

His admiration of William Price only goes so far,however:

"The wish was rather eager than lasting. He was roused from the reverie of retrospection and regret produced by it, by some inquiry from Edmund as to his plans for the next day’s hunting; and he found it was as well to be a man of fortune at once with horses and grooms at his command. In one respect it was better, as it gave him the means of conferring a kindness where he wished to oblige."

My point is that Henry desires to be thought of as a much better person that he is but has no real desire to change or to do the things that would make him so. The appearance of goodness is what he really wants,and to those who have never known any major hardships in their life,poverty and suffering are as glamorous as diamonds and limos would be to folks living in dire straits.



This mindset sounds alot like the ones shared by these false memorists,who when found out,usually boo-hoo about how they didn't mean to lie to people,they just wanted to get"the message out" about the hardships of drugs,gangs,Nazis,etc. You know,guys,that message would go over much better if you didn't resort to telling
lies to do so. You may not realize it,but by thinking that no one will take anything you have to say about a serious topic seriously unless you convince them that you're something that you're not,you have a very condescending attitude towards your intended audience.

So,hopefully,readers looking for a good memoir will not throw the baby out with the bathwater by rejecting smart and honest books like Have You Found Her. As Fanny Price said to Henry at one point,"We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be." and it would behoove some of these potential poseurs to keep that in mind as they prepare to offer up their work to the world.

American Idol goes back to the '80s,fresh Dirt is dug up and the winner of Project Runway is...

Project Runway finished up it's fourth season last night by proclaiming Christian,Lord of the Fierce,as the winner. Many of his fans will be pleased and I have to say that while most of his stuff is a little overboard,even for me,the guy is talented and original,to say the least. So,congrats,Christian!



To make life easier,in talking about each designer's collection,I'm choosing two outfits from each one to highlight what I did and didn't like about them. Since Christian won,I'm starting with his(in reverse order of how the designers presented their lines at Fashion Week).

What I liked about Christian's collection was the boldness-the man is totally in love with the look of the runway and while it's not always easy to see the practicality of most of his clothes,the beauty is in the concept more than the details. This ruffled and feathered evening gown is beyond amazing,like someone on the Island of Dr Moreau had gotten some serious fashion sense.



The downside of that is the limited use of color in Christian's line;he relied heavily on black and beige,which was very dull on the eyes after awhile. Also,some of his designs did not showcase the models very well,like this dress that looked like some crepe paper lantern with a belt smooshed in the middle of it to fit the girl.

Christian can make ready to wear items,as we've seen over the course of the show,but obviously he prefers to make clothes for models rather than people(as Rami pointed out during the pre-show prep time). He'll get plenty of work just from that,with Posh Spice(the guest judge for the finale)being first in line there but I hope that he can branch out his style and stretch his ideas to fit more than just the slenderellas of the world.



Jillian had a number of knitwear items in her collection,which were very feminine and flattering to the figure. She also had her usual failsafe of well made jackets that looked smart and snappy and went well with a number of pieces on display. I particularly like the way the sleeves on the upper arm of this jacket were layered which made the tight twirled hem of the skirt that much more fresh and appealing.





Not all of her knits did so well;this french striped top has terrible poodle pom-pom
sleeves that only Cruella De Vil would love. There were alot of preppy,horse riding type of outfits included as well,which is fine but rather limiting in variety.

Jillian shares with Christian a small array of color choices;while she did occasionally throw in some gold or use red as an accent,the majority of her shades were in the darker side of the color wheel. Don't be afraid,guys...go into the bright!



Rami had the best use of color out of the three of them,in my opinion. Michael Kors might've found some of his shades to be too "Brady Bunch" but compared to the gloomy hues of the other two collections,any vivid tone was most welcome. He showcased his attention to texture and details in many of his pieces,creating beautiful woven designs on collars and in the bodices of some of his gowns.

Rami's evening gowns were the strongest parts of his collection,like this stunning creation using 18th century lace that looked timeless. Intricate,polished and poised are the words that come to mind here.



A couple of his dresses did have these caped sleeves,which turned me right off since they made the model look rather boxy on top. I liked Rami's clothes but I didn't really love them,which is probably why he didn't win.

Yes,Rami can make both fanciful and sensible styles but his outlook is rather conservative when it comes to fashion and as we've seen,he finds it very difficult when called upon to step out of his well established comfort zones. Project Runway,from what I've seen,prefers to award the brash and the bold rather than the play it safe types.

Next week begins a brand spanking new season of Top Chef,taking place in Chicago this time around. That should be fun and hopefully,we won't be getting as many fish dishes as we did the last time(enough with the ceviches,already!)and have some hot times ahead of us.



American Idol went all '80s on us this week,and I have to tell you that Danny Noriega is becoming a fan favorite around my household. The kid may be smart mouthed and sassy but one thing he is definitely not is boring(unlike a few other contestants that I'll be getting to in a minute).

There's plenty of cheesy tunes to pick from when it comes to the 1980s and if you're going to go down that road,you gotta have some pizzazz to pull it off. Danny has that and a kitsch factor of 11 in addition to that. Despite Simon's naysaying,I think that Danny's going to make it to the Top 12:



Someone who should not join Danny there is Luke Menard,who again takes home the Sanjaya award for his godawful rendition of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go". If you're going to perform one of the most embarrassing songs of that decade,atleast buy a damn clue and get a little goofy with it:

DON'T WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO



JITTERBUGGING RIGHT INTO MY BRAIN,THANKS ALOT,LUKE!



Oh,and before we finish up with the fellas,one word about the David Hernandez stripper thing:who freaking cares,seriously? If Diablo Cody can be an ex-stripper and an Academy Award winner,then American Idol can certainly have a former male striptease artist as one of their contestants. Personally,I find him to be one of the most boring singers in the line-up-the only reason I even remember his name is because of this stupid hullabaloo over what he used to do for a living!



Over on the girls' side,I'm starting to worry about Brooke. Don't get me wrong,her singing is great yet once again,she took another harshly themed song and turned it into a folky sweet version that suits her best.

I am all for taking a tune that's been previously recorded and making it your own but this is like chewing bubblegum that has lost it's flavor overnight. "Love is a battlefield" is not the most powerful of Pat Benatar's songs but it does have some fury and punch to it. Brooke made it sound as turbulent as a mayonnaise sandwich.

Amanda,the Rock N' Roll Nurse,did much better this week with Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself(For Loving You)" and I would be greatly shocked if she wasn't in the Top 12 tonight,along with Carly Smithson who kicked ass with "I Drove all Night." I don't know why in the world Simon had a problem with it,maybe he's been sipping Paula's soda too much lately:

CAN'T HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU



I'D DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO HEAR CARLY



Random Notes



Dirt: Season two of the sleazy tabloid series started up last Sunday and just like the first season,I wonder why I even care enough to watch this thing. Granted,it's not without some improvement;Courtney Cox's Lucy Spiller character works best in bitch mode and from the plotlines already shown and hinted at,it looks like they're going for more of the "ripped out of the headlines" stuff than the hidden lives of the fictional celebs created for the show.

Well,until I get the rest of the Complete Jane Austen back on PBS,guess I'll be checking into this mess for awhile.

New Amsterdam: Fox has at last debuted this series about an immortal cop seeking his one true love during centuries of life in Manhattan. So far,so good-another episode is on tonight after the AI results show(nice timeslot there,guys!). I don't know how long this show will be on but if it keeps up the good sense of humor that it seems to have already,it may have a shot at staying on the air for awhile:

Jennifer 8. Lee serves up some All American cultural cuisine with her Fortune Cookie Chronicles

One of the many hallmarks of inclusive American culture is the variety of commercial foods that have become over time to be a natural part of our country's dining landscape,such as hot dogs,hamburgers,pizza and apple pie. One of the biggest( and therefore, taken for granted)take out cuisines of America is Chinese food,which is just as well known as any major fast food chain in the world without having to spend millions of dollars in advertising and is more available throughout the US than all of them combined.



New York Times reporter Jennifer 8. Lee explores the impact that American Chinese food has had on society and how it has also reflected on cultural attitudes and tastes of the times with her just released book,The Fortune Cookie Chronicles. She first started on her quest by investigating the origins of fortune cookies themselves,which are not Chinese at all,but actually a Japanese dessert item brought to San Francisco and made popular by Chinese restaurants after WWII(a result of the displacement and internment of Japanese Americans during that time period).



She also explores some of the traditional nontraditional(in China,that is)mainstays of the American Chinese menu such as chop suey(the first successful attempt to cater to Western tastes) and General Tso's chicken(named after a man best known for his battle skills by his descendants,who the author visited,rather than this dish),along with a few unusual tasty twists,like chow mein sandwiches and Szechuan style alligator with soy vinegar crawfish. But Lee just doesn't tell a few quaint food fables; she digs deep into the bigger picture of the take out provider's culture and it's social statements upon our society.



For one thing,the reason that many of the early Chinese immigrants to America went into the restaurant business was that cooking was considered "women's work"(along with laundry)which negated any violent resistance from men in the areas they settled in, who felt threatened by foreigners wanting to prosper by owing land. Today,there are people who pay thousands of dollars to cross many dangerous borders just to get to the US where they are guaranteed restaurant work(many even learn "restaurant English" before making the journey). Most of the staff of any American Chinese restaurant in every state has been hired thru Chinatown networking,which also handles the sales of mom and pop take out places across the nation.



Least you think this is a muckraking tome,don't despair. Lee simply presents the realities of the American Chinese cuisine world without sugarcoating or stomping upon a soapbox. She also looks into the international take on Chinese food,American style such as the attempted regulation on soy sauce exports and checking out Chinese restaurants around the world to find the best one outside of China.

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles is an altogether positive look at how an everyday thing like the food on our plates has lead to the advancement(along with some of the lingering setbacks) of folks once considered to be "exotic" and who are now fully mixed into the fold of our melting pot society. Actually,Lee describes it as "stir-fried",blended together while still keeping their own unique flavors. That's the best term for it.



Jennifer 8. Lee(yes,that's her actual middle name- the number eight symbolizes prosperity in Chinese)gives the reader some stimulating food for thought along with quite a few fun facts to chew on while looking over your favorite Chinese take out menu. You definitely won't just casually place your usual order in the same way again.

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles is on sale now and I urge anyone interested in adding some variety to their literary diet to get a copy. You can only eat apple pie every day for so long,folks.

March Movie Poster Mania

We've got a new month of movie going ahead of us and a batch of movie posters that could either help or hinder it's reception at the box office.

First up is Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day,starring Frances McDormand and Amy Adams as an unlikely duo who team up to make both their lives better. The ads for the movie suggest an old school madcap comedy but all this poster is showcasing are more legs than a bucket of chicken. You can't see Amy Adams(who is a pretty hot commodity right now) or Frances McD that well and they're the stars of the movie!

My guess is that someone in the studio thought it would be a good idea to sex the poster up alittle but I suspect that anyone looking for a hot time at the multiplex might be disappointed here:





Next is Horton Hears A Who,with Jim Carrey and Steve Carell doing the voice work as the classic Dr. Seuss characters. I am glad to see that Hollywood has decided that if they're going to put Seuss stories onscreen,they'll make them animated,sparing us any further live action make-up horror shows.

The poster is nicely colorful and eye catching,not too far from the actual palette that the Seuss books use themselves,which is as it should be:





And here we have Sex and the City,a rather modest ad for the former HBO series about to hit theaters...not! I wouldn't be surprised if the letters on this sucker actually lit up and blinked on/off.

Also,why is it that Sarah Jessica Parker is the only one featured on the poster? Granted,this is a teaser ad,with the slogan "get Carried away" no less,but since this is an ensemble cast,you'd think that each gal would get her own poster. Perhaps the final one sheet will have all of the gals on it to their full advantage:





Last but not least is this dramatic poster for 10,000 B.C.-I really like this one for it's stunning ant's POV of a charging woolly mammoth. Even if this movie is a total laughfest,the visuals being promised to the viewer will be honored.

The movie opens up this week,and will no doubt do well amongst first weekenders regardless of the poster but it is a nifty bonus there. The other poster has the saber tooth tiger that's been seen in the trailers,which reminds me a little bit of charging cliff ad for 300,which 10,000 B.C. hopes to mimic in terms of raking in the dough:

Open Letter to Anne Rice,re: new Lestat book

Dear Anne Rice,

So,word around the campfire is that you're going to write one last book about your vampire icon,Lestat,despite what you've said awhile back about dropping that bad boy like a red hot potato. Of course,folks will have to wait until your four part series of novels about Jesus are done.




That's great,Anne,but one thing concerns me a little bit there. As a naturally curious gal,I went to your official website to get some more info on this subject and in reading over your letter to the fans,noticed a rather repetitive theme there,that of constant apology:

"The novel, if ever written, would be entirely Christian in framework and would involve Redemption. It would affirm my dedication to Christ and my belief in Him and my commitment to write only for Him."

"Let me affirm: the book --- if ever written --- would reflect my commitment to the Lord to write for Him and for Him alone. The novel is still in the idea stage, and represents an attempt to bring my deep Christian commitment to my old hero and bring my old hero to my Christian commitment. The novel would only be written if and when I find a space to do it that does not interfere with my writing of Jesus’ life on earth in the Christ the Lord series."

"Yes, I did famously say I would never write about those old characters again, and I meant it when I said it because I could not then envision a redemptive novel with Lestat. I had attempted redemptive novels with him like Memnoch the Devil and Blood Canticle and they had not entirely succeeded. Also my new vocation, to write directly for Christ, became the dominant theme of my entire life. And it still is the dominant theme of my entire life."

"There is no possibility for me to return to writing about the vampires as heroes of a dark realm in which they are the only authority on their actions. There will be no more rip roaring adventures for the godless Lestat. That is dead and gone. I found the light in Christ for which my old characters were always searching. The question is: can I bring my Christian faith back to one of those old characters in a meaningful and deeply religious way."

Anne,from one former Catholic schoolgirl to another,let me say this:enough with the guilt trip already! You don't have to act like going back to finish up old business with characters that you created is such a wicked thing. Christianity is all about the forgiveness,Anne. Embrace it. Everyone is allowed to change their minds-that's why rock stars have reunion tours.



Now,I respect your right as an author to do what you will with your characters but as a vampire fan who hasn't read any of the Chronicles since Tale of the Body Thief, whatever happened with Louis,your original vampire in search of redemption? If you want to go back to basics,his struggles to retain his humanity while fighting his bloodthirsty urges are what drew folks to your books in the first place. Bring back Louis,is suggestion number one:






Also,Anne,could you try to lighten up a little? One of the main reasons that I stopped reading any of your stuff was your persistent pessimism on the pages. Have you watched either Buffy or Angel? Joss Whedon could certainly show you a thing or two about having your vampire angst and eating some comedy cake with it,too:





If you're not comfy with having your vampire crack wise,atleast bring the sexy back. As much as music fans respect Prince for his more "spiritual" albums like Sign O' the Times and Musicology,the truth be told,the man is at his best when he's singing about
how he wants your extra time and your kiss.

You can try and divide the romance from the vampire ,but like peanut butter and jelly,the two taste best when they're served up together in a big ol' sultry sandwich. Fight it if you must,but in the end,lust,blood or otherwise, is alluring and more entertaining than existential moping:



Whatever you do there,Anne,just try to have some fun with it. You might win back some old fans along with the new that way.

Sincerely,

Lady T and the rest of the vampire people.