The search for the perfect doll goes to the ultimate Monster High

This year's hot holiday gift for the kids is a set of scary sweet dolls known as Monster High,with a whole line of tie-in goods along with books and animated specials devoted to them(not to mention available for purchase).



They're basically teenage girl versions of classic monsters with names like Frankie Stein,Clawdeen Wolf and Cleo De Nile. I have to admit that, despite the rampant commercialism,these gals and their ghoulish guy counterparts are pretty cool.

Yes,this is yet another trendy toy that may not last for long but the message attached to them-"where freaky is fabulous!" is a good one for young people to hear:





The downside of Monster High's popularity is more for adults,particularly parents who are hunting these dolls down at every retail outlet and website that might still have them in stock.

We've had a lot of must-have toys over the years but dolls seem to attract a special brand of intense desire amongst folks. The biggest moment in time for doll mania that I can recall are the era of the Cabbage Patch Kids back in the 1980s.

The demand for them was so great that new lines of the adoptable darlings were cranked out as fast as humanly possible beyond the usual talking and dress up editions. You could get a "preemie" or a set of twins,plus a pony for them to ride on! It did get to be a little surreal there:





Of course,there are those who insist that an action figure and a doll are nothing alike but when it comes to getting one time for Christmas,such distinctions tend to go out the window.

The frenzy that parents go through in order to have their child not be the only one in their circle of peers to not have that very special doll of the moment is the same,whether you're talking about a Bratz or a Power Ranger. It's become a living nightmare trope for busy at work moms and dads to be too late to the big kid trend party:





Speaking of nightmares,the insidious hold that these dolls have over both children and adults alike makes for excellent horror movie fodder.

It helped the original Child's Play movie,for example,to have the likes of Teddy Ruxpin and My Buddy lining the toy store shelves and getting a constant round of TV advertising during Saturday morning cartoons.

The twisted antics of Chucky and his later devious doll companion Tiffany have no longer included scaring hapless children,over the course of the slasher sequels which is fitting since it's the grown-ups who fear the influence of these supposedly innocent cuddly companions for their youngsters the most:



So,in a way,this cycle of doll demand has come full circle with Monster High embracing the sinister with the sweet. Blending more than one genre together has proven to be refreshing for both ends of the spectrum and who knows what year may bring in terms of dolly delight. One thing is for sure,these deadly looking dainty dames should make for some fun and funky memories for the next generation to come:

Top Chef TX needs sizzle for their steaks,Work of Art does the street hustle and TAR's Final Three

The Quickfire on Top Chef Texas this week had the chefs drawing knives to see which mother sauce they'd be working with(a mother sauce is a basic sauce,with the five best known being tomato,bechamel,veloute,espagnole and Hollandaise).



Each of them had to add their own unique twist to the sauce and serve it with an appropriate dish. Grayson won immunity for her seared corn flavoring to her Hollandaise sauce over scallops and a corn ravioli.



The Elimination challenge required everyone to work as a team in order to make a four course steak dinner for the Cattle Baron's Ball at South Fork Ranch(yes,the South Fork,as in the 1980's hit show Dallas).

Two of the courses had to feature steak and a new car was thrown in as the big prize here. The chefs broke off into mini teams that focused on one course to prepare while all of them pitched in to set things up during service.



Heather and Lindsey wound up being the take charge gals here,since no one really wanted to be seen as the leader and risk getting eliminated. Heather also got on Beverly's case for taking too long to get the shrimp ready for the soup in the first course(which turned out fine). She's not the only one who has issues with Beverly but Heather is the one being most vocal about it.

Meanwhile,Heather's peach cake with candied pecan streusel won top honors and the car,which annoyed Edward since he had given her that recipe for an earlier challenge. Lots of tension building up here,folks!



Edward had other things to worry about,as the heirloom tomato salad he made for the second course went over like a lead balloon.

It was deemed bland and boring,not to mention safe. He wound up in the Bottom Three for it but he was the only one from his section of the dinner to do so.



The real problems were in the third course,as the steaks were supposed to be medium rare. Ty-Lor was in charge of the meat and he grilled them all outside,sending them to the kitchen to be finished in the oven.

Due to Lindsey rushing the proceedings,the steaks were cooked too early and the results were uneven at best. Ty-Lor was already wiped out before the dinner,due to spending the night at the local ER to get his hand stitched and he didn't realize that the steaks were ruined in time.

To his credit,Ty-Lor took all of the responsibility for that failure and even when put on the chopping block,he didn't throw anyone under the bus. I'm glad that he stayed,that showed true character on his part.

Whitney went home instead,for her potato gratin that was undercooked and lacking seasoning. She probably should have baked it ahead of time but for some reason,she was convinced that it would be better to wait. Next week,the chefs take a ride with tequila and Heather gets into it with Beverly again. Ladies,can't we all get along?



On Work of Art,the challenge was to make art suitable for selling on the street(Tribeca Park,to be exact)and then have a corresponding display in the gallery. They had only five hours to buy materials and get everything ready to sell.

Everyone worked in teams of two and the one that made the most money would receive immunity along with 30 grand. They're certainly giving away quite a bit of cash this season,which in some ways kind of negates the whole "selling out" concept here.



Young paired up with Sara J. and he made small paintings to sell,plus T shirts and hand painted boy's underwear. For the gallery showing,one of his unsold paintings was displayed along side a triptych of the colorful designs for the underwear.

For some reason,that seemed to anger the judges,especially Judge Jerry and guest judge Jeanine(who was a regular WOA panel member last year). They insisted that there was a disconnect between what he had sold on the street and what he brought to the show.

In my opinion,his pieces were a nice contrast in whimsical and weird. Plus,if he had put out underpants,Young would've been slammed for that as well.



Sara J. had some T shirts and small paintings,too but sold out of them quickly. She then resorted to the classic "portrait on the street" routine,using watercolors to enhance her drawings.

Her strengths in drawing really shined here and Sara's fast on her feet approach earned enough money for her and Young to win the challenge. I really admire her skills as the show has gone along and look forward to seeing more of her talents.



Speaking of exposing your talents,Lola went for the obvious and did a nude photo of herself with text written across it that was supposed to be her "secrets". She even scribbled some "secrets" on the various sized pictures that were sold in the park.

*Sigh* Maybe it's just me but isn't that whole sharing secrets gimmick over and done with by now? Not to mention that writing on pictures and drawings(tracings,actually) suggests more of a frustrated poet than a visual artist. Honey,go write a Fiona Apple song or something like that,seriously.



Sarah C,meanwhile,was her partner and she stenciled T shirts with feather breast designs. She also made feathered headdresses,like the kind you make in kindergarten,and her piece for the show was a man/woman silhouette that looked as empty as Lola's imagination.

I know,picking on Lola is not fair but this is the second time that she's teamed up with someone and that person wound up getting all giggly and drawing cartoon penises.

Lola said she was a witch in the last challenge and her jinxing abilities are starting to show. Anyway,Sarah went home and what will happen next should be mind boggling,at the very least.



The Final Four teams on The Amazing Race went to Panama and it looked as if surfers Tommy and Andy were going to be the team to beat as the last leg of this round was ending. However,the guys took a wrong turn as they had trouble with the clue that would lead them to the Pit Stop.

It was difficult,as the teams were sent to watch a group of dancers and either spot the name of the place in the design on one of their dresses or notice the building drawn on the medallions the ladies were wearing. Tommy and Andy saw the word "Balboa" and took that as the clue,which headed them off in the wrong direction.

They came in last and so the Final Three teams are Ernie and Cindy,Amani and Marcus and Jeremy and Sandy. Good luck to you all and sorry to see Tommy and Andy leave so soon. They did run a good race here and best of luck to them in the future:



RANDOM NOTES:

GAME OF THRONES: Season Two is set to begin in April of 2012 and the DVDs for Season One will be available in March. Perhaps those discs will offer some hints of what is to come,particularly for such fan favorites as Danys,Tyrion and the spunkiest Stark of them all,Arya:

Recycled Movie Plots,Take 2

The duo that brought us Juno back in '07 are at it again,with a movie that I swear is the gloomy reincarnation of a Julia Roberts hit flick.

This isn't meant as a slam or an accusation against either writer Diablo Cody or director Jason Reitman but I can't help but notice the similarities between the two projects.Young Adult stars Charlize Theron as Mavis Gray,a moody ghostwriter for a series of teen titles.

During her latest funk,she goes back to her hometown and decides to reclaim her old boyfriend Buddy(Patrick Wilson)as her man,despite the fact that he is happily married to Beth(Elisabeth Reiser)with a new baby.

Mavis' only confidant on this mission is Matt(Patton Oswalt),a former classmate who still suffers from those high school days,who becomes her platonic unlikely voice of reason. This is supposed to be an anti-heroine type of story that pulls no punches,not the most likely candidate to be released around holiday time:





Now,consider the plot of 1997's My Best Friend's Wedding along side Young Adult; here we have Julianne(Roberts),a restaurant critic who learns that her former flame Michael(Dermot Mulroney)is about to get married to a nice girl he truly loves named Kimberly(Cameron Diaz).

Julianne feels that this is all wrong and that Michael belongs with her. She goes to his wedding in order to break the intended couple up and her only confidant in this scheme is George(Rupert Everett),her gay best friend.

Differences in tone and minor plot details aside,I think you can see the connection between these two romantic comedies quite clearly:





This particular style of cinematic remodeling isn't unusual in Hollywood. The most popular route is to rework a classic novel into modern day fare,casting younger versions of time honored characters and updating certain references. The best authors on the block have been subject to this treatment-Dickens,Austen,Hawthorne and of course,good old Shakespeare.

Even not as commonly known old school works have been handled this way,with one of the best examples being Cruel Intentions in 1999. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillippe did their variations on the decadent upper class characters that were played by Glenn Close and John Malkovich in the direct period adaptation of Dangerous Liaisons nearly ten years prior.

That slick reshaping helped to pave the way for future teen productions about the lives of reckless rich kids such as Gossip Girl and even now,a new twist on that famed French novel by Lalcos is being remade yet again,this time set in China of the 1930s. Interesting to see just how versatile some stories are:





Of course,basing a movie upon another movie is par for the course as well.1998's You've Got Mail takes a lot of it's cues from the 1940 version of The Shop Around the Corner(with the original title cleverly worked into the new story line as the name of the bookstore run by one of the romantic rivals).

You can argue all day long about whether or not Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are in the same league as Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan-if you really want to up the comparison ante,this story was also remade as the 1949 musical In the Good Old Summertime with Judy Garland and Van Johnson) but the basic plot thread is the same.

Two people who work in the same business and can't stand each other wind up becoming anonymous pen pals that fall in love. The main twist is that e-mail takes the place of hand written correspondence and actually allows for much more identity confusion which in some ways is more beneficial to refreshing this old chestnut:



So,if you think about it,Young Adult bearing a striking resemblance to My Best Friend's Wedding is not as strange as it may seem. Hollywood does love to retread familiar ground,as we've seen from the numerous remakes and sequels bombarding the multiplexes lately and who knows,they might get really creative with this trend.

Maybe the next big thing will be to make formerly upbeat movies into their moody doppelganger editions and vice versa. Hey,it could happen-never say never!:

A little taste of Christmas with pop culture place settings

One of the most memorable things about the holiday season is the food,whether it's those chestnuts roasting on an open fire,a swig of what is hopefully not spiked eggnog or the sweet crunch of a candy cane.

While traditional dishes may vary,something they all have in common is how well used as references they can be in holiday themed movies and TV shows. A perfect go-to gag or emotional touchstone,food makes the occasion that much more special. Here's a merry menu of pop culture treats to start your mental meal off right:



Duck,it's a goose!


While turkey remains a holiday dinner favorite,along with ham,roast goose is a rather popular protein for yuletide feasts.

However,when introducing it to newcomers,it's better to have the bird cleaned and prepped for the oven before you spring it on folks. Otherwise,your kind offering will be received as well as Dwight's "Christmas miracle" entree for The Office:



Cookie time!

Cookies are a serious sweet tooth tradition and when it comes to stirring up memories,there's nothing like a tray of sugar cookies ready to be frosted that does the trick.

Altho,as Reba found out,not even the pleasure of making such Santa certified goodies can keep your loved ones from seeking out holiday fun outside of the home. Do not despair for long,since the best way to lure them back is with cookies:





A lovely cheese pizza,just for thee

Home cooking is a seasonal highlight,yet many people prefer to enjoy the simple luxury of takeout cuisine. Pizza and Chinese food are as traditional to some as gingerbread houses and oyster stuffing can be to others,plus less time in the kitchen means more time for opening gifts.

That's all well and good but do keep in mind to be nice to your delivery person and to hand them a generous tip or they might be less inclined to show up on your doorstep next year:





How sweet a spaghetti supper is!

For those who do enjoy cooking on the holidays,often included into most meals are dishes from your family's cultural background. Baklava,plum pudding and lasagna are just a handful of international items that have graced many a holiday table.

If you happen to be a guest who is offered a serving of something unfamiliar to your palate,it doesn't hurt to adjust the flavors a little yet do try to watch your manners. Folks can get over going heavy on the condiments but not excusing yourself from the table when necessary:



In the end,what is most important about the holiday dinner is not what's being served on the plates. Togetherness and sharing of good times with old friends and new is the true seasoning of any special meal during this festive time.

However,checking the menu with all of your expected guests is a good idea there, to avoid culinary confusion and other not so merry mishaps:

The LRG Best Books of 2011: plenty of page turning goodness for all

With December now officially here,it's time for those "Best of the Year" lists to start rolling around and while 2011 certainly offered a variety of delights for pop culture fans to enjoy,our focus today will be on books.

So,here are the tales that made a lasting impression on me this year from finding new favorites amongst the bestsellers of yesteryear to unusual depictions of love and loyalty and one amazing book that I'm still in midst of reading as we speak,yet it's bound to be a truly memorable masterwork for this author(more on that one later). For now,let's get this party started:



LOVE IS STRANGE(AND THEN SOME)

One of the most startling surprises of the year was Benjamin Hale's debut novel,The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore,which chronicles the bizarre life and times of a chimp trained to speak and act like a human.

Bruno,our simian leading man,believes that he is very much a real man to the point of falling in love with his trainer Lydia and embarking on a consummated romance with her. While that alone is a stunner of a storyline,it's the compellingly written narrative that keeps you from merely dismissing it as a tale of simple shock value.

Granted,this book may not be for everyone but if you are intrigued by exploring the notions of what constitutes humanity and how disregarding the emotional impact upon living subjects of scientific inquiry can backfire big time,there is a whole banquet of food for thought here:





Kevin Wilson has a slightly more down to earth approach to examining usual relationships in The Family Fang but the dysfunctional dynamics of this clan of performance artists also offers a twisted take on the expected norm.

As the adult children of Camile and Caleb Fang,a couple of do or die exhibitionists in pursuit of true art,Annie and Buster are somewhat used to being unexpectedly thrust into the spotlight.

However,when the disappearance of their parents in what looks like a brutal car jacking is brought to the attention of the police,this brother and sister are torn between actual concern and suspecting that this is yet another set-up by their attention seeking elders. The offbeat tone of the story graces the antics of all of the Fangs with charm and the urge to see them achieve their dreams.



FANTASTIC JOURNEYS OF THE MIND AND HEART

Superhero novels are still a growing genre and Carrie Vaughn takes a new bounding leap into this field with After The Golden Age. The focal point of this tale is not the extraordinary team of Captain Olympus and Spark but their daughter Celia,who was born an ordinary girl.

Celia's grown accustomed to being a regular kidnapping victim for all sorts of bad guys but she didn't expect to be caught up in the tax trial of The Destructor,the worst villain of them all.

As secrets from her past are threatening to come to public light,Celia must decide if discovering a few truths about her family is the right path to take. If you only know Vaughn from her Kitty the werewolf series of books,you really need to check this engaging adventure tale out and see what a real game changer it is.



Speaking of game changing,Ernest Cline's Ready Player One takes virtual reality,pop culture obsession and video gaming to the next level.

In the dismal year of 2044,the only hope that young Wade Watts has to better his situation in life is to unlock the hidden Easter Eggs in OASIS,a popular worldwide online game,left as a legacy by deceased creator James Halliday.

Wade's quest gains him unlikely allies,determined enemies and the chance to reenact a John Hughes film. This lively adventure has appeal even for the non techno inclined as well as for those who count Wil Wheaton as one of their personal heroes:





BLASTS FROM THE PAST

With the arrival of the film adaptation of Kathryn Stockett's The Help this summer, the time for me to read this acclaimed yet controversial novel was ripe indeed. I was happy to find a thoughtful and entrancing story of how three women took on a risky book project that changed all of their lives as well as exposed some ugly truths on both sides of the social divide in the South during the 1960s.

This was one of those books that I couldn't stop reading and thinking about,which got my mother interested in reading it. Mom and I rarely share books but The Help was a literary gem that brought us even closer together.

One of the joys of our mini book club was discussing our favorite character,Minnie,who reminds me so much of my mother. While we also adored Abileen and appreciated Skeeter,Minnie was definitely the one we related to the most:





As the HBO fantasy series,A Game of Thrones,was beginning to be promoted,I soon took an interest in reading The Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin that the show is based on.

Before episode one,I had finished the first book and then eagerly moved on to the other titles(A Clash of Kings and A Storm of Swords),managing to complete Book Four(A Feast of Crows)before the release of the long awaited fifth volume this summer,A Dance with Dragons.

I'm taking my sweet time with the last one,since it will probably be awhile before the last two books arrive. The waiting won't be so hard,since there are more seasons of the show on the way to make the time entertainingly fly by:





2 BOLD GIRLS

A lovely salute to the pleasures of reading aloud,The Reading Promise is Alice Ozma's memoir about the eight year streak of bedtime reading that she shared with her father,a dedicated children's librarian. Their initial goal was a hundred nights,which then grew to a thousand and wound up lasting until Alice went off to college.

What stuck with Alice was not only the time that her dad was willing to invest in her but his sincere belief that reading aloud to children is of great benefit to their education. It's a message that she happily spreads to others,through this book and other venues,living his life lessons out to the fullest:





The realm of professional cooking holds plenty of heat in the kitchen and potential chef Lauren Shockey walks into an international quartet of them in Four Kitchens,which chronicles her apprenticeship in such locales as New York's famed wd-50 and Verticle in Hanoi.

Shockey paints a portrait of restaurant life that is colorfully highlighted by her cultural encounters and enhanced culinary experiences. Her time and talents were seasoned with friendships and recipes that add flavor to her words,plus give the reader a revealing look behind the scenes and the best table at your favorite eatery.



SURPRISE STANDOUT OF THE YEAR

As of this writing,I am still in the midst of Stephen King's 11/22/63 however,it won't be long before New Year's Eve that it will claim a space in my home library. I've been a fan of King's work for a long time and while some of his books haven't appealed to me over the last few years,this one is a real keeper.

Yes,King is telling a time travel what-if? story about Jake Epping, a modern day high school teacher, who takes the seemingly golden opportunity to rewrite history and save JFK from his deadly date with destiny. Like most of the best King stories,though,the true heart of the book is in the characters rather than the situation.

I'm looking forward to see not only the final outcome for Jake in his mission to save Kennedy but in the budding romance between him and Sadie,a woman of those times who may be the true love of his life. Most of all,it's been good to see Jake try to right the little things that once went wrong and hopefully make that destined leap of faith to find his way home:



That wraps up this year for the most part,and many of these books will be available in paperback by 2012. Times will be tough next year but I hope that we all get the chance to visit our local libraries and brick n' mortar bookstores. Reading is a solitary pleasure,true,but book shops and libraries are excellent places to find friends and share secrets along with reading recommendations:

Musical 180s: When Bands' Creative Left Turns Go Awry

Hi,folks-today,we have another guest post by Stephanie O'Donnell,the artist whose talents can be seen in the online webcomic Perfect Agent(written by Greg Carter)and yes,I'm proud to say that she is my younger sister. Her topic for this post is how some musical acts try to remake their image in order to stay current but wind up showing just how out of touch they've become.

I hope you enjoy Stephanie's music scene musings and oddly enough,she's not the only one in the family doing a guest post this week. My essay "Persuaded into Austen"is being featured as part of Austenprose's "Reading Austen" series,so you're getting two for the price of one here today,friends!

Remember Korn? Those angsty, Adidas and Puma clad upstarts who managed to top the TRL charts in the boy band revival of the late 1990s? Yeah, they and their music have not aged well. So much so, that in fact, their latest album, “The Path To Totality”, is purported to be a "dubstep" record. Not only is it going to sound like the usual treadmill in a rainstorm, but it will be accompanied by a malfunctioning robot on said treadmill.

For those of you who are unaware of dubstep, there's plenty of examples around. Google "Skrillex", and you will soon wish that you didn't. Basically, this is a last ditch effort on Korn's part to stay relevant and hook in a younger crowd by, as David Cross once said about advertising in an HBO stand up special, "hippin' it up and sellin' it to the younger folks".





That said, this is not a new concept by any means. Bands changing their sound, be it drastically or minimally yet still alienating, is a tale as old as time. And yes...a song as old as rhyme too. Beauty and the Beast.

In 1981, the Village People underwent an entirely new image under the orders of Jacques Morali, who put the group together. Disco was waning big time in America, and new wave/new romantic music was on the rise. They decided to stay fresh by taking the latter route, interpreting their character personas into a new romantic spin.

Yes, even the biker had to wear pancake makeup. It made him look like King Diamond had just lost a bet. But at least we can say there's no pretense or candy coating behind the whys and the hows. The band even admitted on this clip of them on the Merv Griffin Show admitted it was all Morali's idea.



"Renaissance" was their album release with the new wave overhaul. There's maybe 3 decent songs on the entire thing (ymmv) and nothing else. There even contains a song entitled "Big Mac", and guess what it's about? I don't know McDonald's missed this prime opportunity for sponsorship. It makes a helluva jingle.



But after that comes the songs "Diet", and "Food Fight", respectively. I'm guessing this was supposed to be some trilogy within the vein of Metallica's "Unforgiven" saga? But instead of an old man in a dirty, tiny cellar, we get a series of songs about mastication. Or in the latter's case, throwing it instead of eating it. I have no idea why this even exists, but the fact that it does is strangely fascinating.

In the late 1970s, Kiss managed to piss off the "Disco Sucks!" portion of their audience by writing the song "I Was Made For Loving You". Good going! But in the same year as the Village People were packing on the extra rouge and eyeshadow, they put out "The Elder". A concept album that was later admitted by one of the producers to be a product of heavy cocaine use, it centers around a boy on some kind of quest. Basically "Dungeons and Dragons" crap.



My brother was an avid fan, and even owned this on cassette. I remember oddly enough being a kid, and picking that one out to listen to more than anything. Of course now I can barely recall most of the songs, except for "A World Without Heroes", which VH1 Classic likes to trot out from time to time in Kiss specials.

Just in case you wanted to forget Paul Stanley's "Stayin' Alive" realness with regard to the hair AND the headband, don't worry! VH1 and all of its subsidiaries will make sure you have this ingrained in your psyche. Possibly to make sure the younger generations feel the pain that their parents (possibly grandparents?) did way back when this was considered "fresh and original".



I'm sure as you all know, if you've seen his "Behind The Music" special, that Vanilla Ice was a commercial failure not once, but twice! Two times the fun! Around 1994 or so, he attempted to fit in with the gangsta rap genre. His idea of that was to get an absurd hairstyle consisting of short dreadlocks that hung on his head like a dead mutant tarantula from a SyFy original picture.

One of his awful attempts at being just as hardcore as Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre was this little bon mot from one of the songs, "The Wrath": "And I'm still droppin' bombs/ You know the rap world's a battlefield in Vietnam". What's funny is that despite the effort (or lack thereof?) to completely erase his pop chart past, he still includes elements from "Ice Ice Baby" in it.



And wouldn't ya know it! Second verse really is same as the first! He did the same thing again in 1998 with his Limp Bizkit-esque resurgence by doing a nu-metal version of "Ice Ice Baby" entitled "Too Cold". It is basically the same song, but with a new title on it for some reason. He ditched the pseudo gangsta hardass look and decided to copy Total Request Live's rock darlings, as stated earlier, Limp Bizkit, aaaand KORN! He even got the same producer that worked with Korn to work on the album "Hard To Swallow". Circle of life.



Today he is now somewhat of a cult figure, since he is now affiliated with Insane Clown Posse, their label, and the Juggalo subculture. I'm using that term very literally since it's my humble opinion that juggalos are pretty much a cult in and of itself.

You've probably seen the "Gathering Of The Juggalos" infomercials on YouTube, or maybe the sketches parodying it on SNL. 4 days in a creepy hick town bordering Kentucky where all sorts of debauchery occurs. It's like if Jonestown was an annual mini vacation, but hold the Flavor Aid. And yes, "V Ice" has been very prominent in them:



Last, but certainly not least, it would be a crime to not mention Chris Gaines in this piece. Garth Brooks decided in the late 90s/early 2000's that he would be "innovative" and create a pop rock persona to accompany a movie that was never made about said charater's life, and a CD that was made.

Also an SNL appearance with Garth Brooks as host and Gaines as the "musican guest". An episode of “Behind The Music” was all about his alter-persona. This is arguably the antithesis of Lady Gaga and Jo Calderone's act during this year's Video Music Awards. I mean, this shit is so bad that I had to find an actual video outside of YouTube. He doesn't even have a Vevo channel.


Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines - Right now by purplenippleac

There’s many more examples, of course. This trope has always been around, and you’re damn sure that there will be many more faux pas moments in certain artists’ careers in the future. And it’ll just get weirder and weirder.

In fact, it was announced last night on CBS’ Grammy Awards Nominations Special that the dubstep darling, Skrillex, is up for Best New Artist. I can’t imagine living in a world where obnoxious bloops and bleeps and machine noises with no nuance get recognized by major awards. In a way though, it’s pretty hilarious. We are pretty much living in a comedy sketch at this point. Just laugh along.

Top Chef TX parties in Dallas,Work of Art drives off and TAR flexes their muscles

The gang on Top Chef Texas took a bit of a road trip,as their next Elimination Challenge was to take place in Dallas. On route,they stopped for a Quickfire in a field,with Padma and John Besh(the special guest judge for this episode).

The field was set up with benches and very basic cooking equipment and the chefs had to use whatever was packed into the survival kits stowed away in their car trunks. Most of that stuff was prepackaged goods with no fresh food items whatsoever. One guy tried to use the corn that was growing from the far end of the field but that so did not work out.



Much to her surprise,Lindsey won this challenge along with immunity and five grand. Her club sandwich was made up of saltine crackers with tuna and served with French onion soup garnished with Vienna sausages. An odd combo,to be sure,but those flavors seemed to hit the spot for John Besh there.



Before they reached Dallas,the chefs were divided into groups for the next challenge, which was a progressive dinner party. What they meant by progressive was that that each course of the meal would be served in separate homes of the perspective hosts and their friends.

One household had the appetizers,the next one offered up the entrees and the last home dessert. Even though they worked together,each chef was allowed to make what he/she wanted(or thought the guests and judges wanted)and were judged as individuals.



Dakota was convinced that her banana bread pudding was too dry but it went over like gangbusters with the party people. She also served a banana mousse and a milkshake that was poured into edible date cups,a really nice touch. She landed in the Top Four for her efforts and to her relief as well.



Grayson joined her in the victory circle,for her chocolate sponge cake with caramelized bananas and a semifreddo. While it was a rather rich dish,that dessert delight was too good to be ignored.



The winner,however,was Paul for his fried Brussels sprouts appetizer. He added grilled prosciutto to the plate,which really enhanced the flavor of the sprouts that everyone agreed were properly prepared. I'm not a Brussels sprouts fan myself but I will say that his dish does look tasty.



Unfortunately for another member of Team Appetizer,his attempt at wit was his comedown. Chris C. whipped up a "cigar" that was mostly a chicken wrap covered in collard greens with the "ashes" consisting of cumin and caraway seeds.

Most of the diners found it unwieldy to eat,plus the chicken was dry. Yes,it looked convincing but taste was just as important as presentation here. As a result,Chris landed in the Bottom Four.



Next to him was Ty-Lor,with his pork tenderloin and summer slaw. The plating was considered to be pretty sloppy and rather old fashioned. The reviews regarding how well it did or didn't taste was a fifty-fifty mix at best.



The person who had to pack their knives and head for Last Chance Kitchen was Chuy. His entree was hailed as the worst of the bunch,due to the salmon being overcooked(the corn husks that it was served on show just how close to burned the fish was).

He claimed that the fish had to be cooked that long in order to make the goat cheese stuffed inside melty enough. That argument didn't hold water with the judges so maybe Chuy will have better luck with his second chance cook-off.

Next week,the chefs receive a French twist to their Quickfire and one of them gets a nasty injury that could put him out of the game. Everything is bigger in Texas,so they say, and that includes the risks,I guess!



On Work of Art,the remaining contenders were taken to a room filled with car parts and tasked to incorporate at least one piece into their next project. The winner for this challenge would get 25 grand,which had a lot of people give Young some serious side eye. Lola even tried to joke about pulling a Tonya Harding on him but the key word here is "tried",folks.



Lucky for him then that it was the two Sarahs who were up for the winning critique. Sarah K. used a pair of car seat covers that she sliced off to make a duel portrait entitled "Hide".

One cover was meant to represent her late father,who she went on many road trips with. While I thought that the arrangement of the covers on canvas did have a nice inkblot test configuration to them,it didn't particularly move me. Yet,it was a good creative use of the materials and worth a pat on the back there for Sarah.



Sara H. won this round for "Backfire",a piece that had a muffler shooting out white branches that reminded Judge Bill of Superman's Fortress of Solitude(someone misses the Sucklord,I think!).

She does deserve points for doing something outside of her comfort zone and doing it well but again,that art piece just left me cold.



I felt sorry for Kymia,who had an interesting concept but not the technical skills required to showcase it. She found a car key amongst her collection of parts and decided to grind the metal down to make stardust.

The star dust was then placed on glass frames and then put into a kaleidoscope box that broke down during the exhibit. Kymia's "Key to the Universe" had promise and to her credit,she knew that it wasn't her best work.



It was startling to see Lola get another pass on her scattershot presentation,since even the judges seemed tired of her work.

Dispensing with the rambling pretentious title(she should name songs for bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco,that's her true calling),her piece was a hodgepodge of crystal coated car parts,murky color prints and a picture of herself with little notations on it.

By the way,Lola,do you know what it means when you constantly trace over photographs and display them as your "drawings?" That's right,you are a Tracy Tracer,dear. Just be content with your station in life,already!



Speaking of station in life,Judge Jerry needs to take a reality check(and maybe a time out) as he went over the line in criticizing Michelle's work. True,her "Scenic Overlook" was a mess,due to her having too many ideas at once and not focusing on one solid notion.

Yet,there is no excuse for Jerry to lecture Michelle like a child and throw in her face how her being in a car accident should have made her do better here. Even in his blog,he admits that he yelled at all of the women in the Bottom Three,to the point where the crew and the producers were staring at him:

Then comes the elimination round, and I face my three faves at once: Kymia, Lola, and Michelle. That’s where my internal (and not so internal) drama begins. Though you don’t see it on the air, I started ranting during the taping: “How could you three do this to me! You’re all so good!” Things got so bad that the director called for a break, whereupon I turned around and saw the whole crowd of producers and directors looking on with concern.

I then tried to convince them to let us re-select the bottom three, and this time include Dusty and Young. They looked at me like I was bonkers. So I came back with this: “Let’s issue reality TV’s first ever post–Thanksgiving Day presidential pardon. Let’s not vote anyone off this week. Wouldn’t that be great?” Silence. I slunk off to brood by myself, coming back only to understand in my little art-critic heart what had to happen. And then it did.

First off,Jerry-you need to realize that this show is NOT about YOU. It's about the artists and I can see being disappointed at their work but that gives you no right whatsoever to talk to anyone like that.

Secondly,did it ever occur to you that Michelle's lack of focus on this assignment might be due to her car accident? You should know better than anyone else how sensitive artists can be,especially about personal traumas and instead of speaking to her in a thoughtful manner,your criticism was rude and below the belt. For shame,sir,for shame! That was badly done,indeed!

Michelle went home and she might be the better for it,if Jerry can't control himself during the crits. Next week,the artists have to work in pairs to sell their work on the street and Lola gets another chance to be annoying. I'm still tuning in,but miss the Sucklord dearly.



The Amazing Race stretched out their leg in Belgium,which resulted in Bill and Cathi coming in last by the time they hit the Pit Stop. Those two really did their best and a few of the other couples still in the running would do well to take a few cues from them.

Ernie and Cindy,for example,were once again bummed out about not being in first place. *Sigh* you two need to get a grip-at this stage,being the third team to arrive is a good thing,okay? Quit complaining and focus on the positive,seriously!

What delayed many of the teams was the body building contest challenge in Brussels. Each team had to don skimpy outfits and pose before a panel of judges,plus a cheering audience. These judges were not very forgiving when it came to presenting the proper positions on stage. This task may not have seemed too daunting at first but it was tricky to get a good score there. As usual,Bill and Cathi were real troopers and displayed themselves accordingly:



RANDOM NOTES:

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE: One of the highlights of the parade is watching segments of Broadway musicals and this year,we were treated to a medley from Spiderman:Turn off the Dark. All I have to say is that if this is the watered down version,I fervently hope that someone taped the original Julie Taymor production for future humorous reference(and DVD release):