TAR Beauty Queens nearly bite the dust,an unmerry Nip/Tuck Christmas and Veronica Mars

On The Amazing Race,Dustin and Kandace were the last team to arrive at the Pitstop but lucky for them(unlucky for the home viewers),they were not eliminated but as David and Mary were twice before,marked for it if they are not the first team to make it on the next leg. I can't stand those girls;they are sneaky little numbers and nasty to boot. After Yielding Team Alabama(Lyn & Karlyn),they noticed on the way to the next clue that Rob & Kimberly had a flat tire and thought it would be great not to let them know.

Really nice,ladies-you do know that it's dangerous to be driving on a flat now,don't you? Yes,you're competing with Rob & Kimberly but they have been your friends during this race(even tho they don't trust you and I don't blame them at all)but it wouldn't kill you to help someone out here. Also,stop calling Lyn & Karlyn"The Sistas"! Everyone else either refers to them as 'Bama or the Lyns and the way the two of you say "Sistas" is very bothersome. Just remember,Karma's a real bitch,girls and you are evil blondes,in my book!






One mystery ended on Veronica Mars(tag team rapists,who knew?)and another one began as poor Dean O'Dell wound up with a bullet to the brain. Ed Begley,Jr was a nice addition to the show but as regular VM fans know,celebrity guest stars usually come to bad ends in Neptune. Glad to see Mac back(that STD shirt was too damn funny)and Wallace working with Phiz to help Team Veronica at the frat party.

As to who shot the Dean,my money's on the cheating professor and/or his creepy TA. Ten to one,the feministas who kept up the egg tossing will be looked at first but will probaly have some sort of alibi. I know all the LoVe shippers are sad about Logan breaking up with Veronica but I think she's better off. That guy has too many issues(it was cool of him to get placed in the holding cell with Mercer & Co for some sweet backpay for attacking her).




This season's Christmas episode of Nip/Tuck was perverse,to say the least. Sean's
drunken Santa was the highlight of the show-my favorite line of his"You want Santa to bring you diabetes for Christmas!". Not to mention getting his North Pole serviced by the elfish"Ho,ho,ho!" So wrong and yet so very Nip/Tuck. Things started to look better for Sean when Reefer,the drunken homeless man,helped him snap out of his Leaving Las Vegas funk(Sean sure attracts some strange spirit guides)but that became a horrorshow when James decided to use poor Reefer as an organ donor buffet.

The scenes for next week hint that little Wilbur(another Season one character pops up again! What is this all leading to?)may be a target for James' chopshop. I have heard that it's Wilbur's mom,Gina,who grabs him up instead. I certainly hope so-not that I want anything bad to happen to him(the reunion scene with Christian and Wilbur was so touching and sweet)but I'd rather chose the lesser of two evils here. If that kid gets hurt,Christian needs to choke a bitch(and her name is Michelle!).

Random Notes:

Heroes: We learned alot about our superpowered friends this week,particularly the deadly Sylar aka Gabriel Gray. Zachary Quinto(last seen on So NoTorious)plays him rather well as this desperately insane soul who'll do anything to be "special." I've always thought that Sylar's motivation was a twisted version of Highlander-"there can only be one!"-and so far,my theory seems to be quite close:




The Hiro/Charlie romance was so bittersweet;despite all his time travels,Charlie was doomed to die anyway. The paper cranes bit was beautiful and I wish that the two of them could've stayed together. Next week's preview is certainly promising us plenty of bang for our buck:






America's Next Top Model: Even with the ousting of Anchal,my sister and I are still watching this show to the bitter end. We agree that Melrose shouldn't win(even my mother who's not a regular viewer doesn't like her either!),that girl is a total suck-up phony. Hey,Tyra-whay did that pool had to be so cold that Caridee nearly went into shock? I know that modeling sometimes requires you to be out in the elements wearing clothes that could make you sweat or freeze but this was a swimming pool,not a lake or pond where you can't adjust the water temperature!

I am too cranky this week,with these shows. Perhaps a nice episode of Ugly Betty tonight(since Smallville is in rerun land)will take the edge off.

What Pop Culture Museum would you like to visit?

With an ABBA museum set to open in Stockholm by 2008(I know a certain Diva who would love to be first on line)and the Stephan Colbert Museum & Gift Shop in Colbert County,I was wondering what other nifty pop culture sensations would make a great basis for a cultural spotlight section. Here's just a few ideas of mine:





The Devil Wears Prada Filmed Fashion Center: Celebrate this hip and stylish movie by gawking at the clothes,jewels and accessories that only rich anorexics can strive to wear and afford. Other exhibits will include a Tribute to Meryl Streep,Guess the Designer,Bitchy Sayings to Ponder and Makeover Magic. Also featured will be other shows and/or films that contribute to the DWP style such as Sex and the City,Ugly Betty and Pretty Woman.




Comic Book Gallery of Rogues: Sure,there are plenty of places that honor such superheroes as Batman,Superman,etc but what about the villians? Those wickedly hard working soulless fiends who give the likes of Wolverine,Green Lantern and even Aquaman a reason to get up and strap on the spandex in the morning? Individual tributes to such legendary evil doers as Lex Luthor,Magneto and The Joker will be prominently displayed as well as Classic Cabals. Walk thru the meeting room of the Legion of Doom,if you dare! Voluntary financial contributions to the Gallery will be collected at gunpoint by the front entrance.




The Museum of Failed Celebrity Marriages:Located in the quickie romance capital of the world,Las Vegas,this shrine to bad choices made while drunk,horny or just looking for some new PR will not only feature such current uncouplings as Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey,Pam Anderson and Kid Rock and America's Sweethearts Britney Spears and K-Fed,but will also showcase the breakdowns of Hollywood Past(an entire wing of the museum is dedicated to the Many Loves of Elizabeth Taylor). Items on display include marriage licenses,divorce decrees,wedding photos,magazine and news paper stories that storyboard every waking moment of the relationship,plus an interactive feature that lets you play Celebrity Matchmaker! Dartboard of potential mates will be moved closer for better aim at visitor's request.




Sequels,Part Two-Electric Boogaloo: While many follow-ups to hit films are given their just desserts,much mockery is shown to those whose only crime is to try and give you more of what you liked in the first place for the fourth or fifth time.We pay respect to such valiant attempts as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II:The Secret of the Ooze(with Vanilla Ice performing his classic theme song,"Ninja Rap"live in person twice a day),Leprechaun 4:In Space and Santa Clause 3:The Escape Clause.

Select showings of key films will be followed up by a Q&A session with one of the partakers of that cinematic creation. Soon to scheduled viewings may include Batman & Robin,with Joel Schumacher,Basic Instinct 2,with Sharon Stone and Leonard,Part Six with Bill Cosby who will gladly recount the plots of the "missing" earlier films.

Are we getting some real girl power in comics?

As reported in the NY Times,DC Comics is launching a line of female friendly comics next spring aimed at teenagers. The line will be called Minx and their first graphic novel will be "The P.L.A.I.N. Janes",about a group of girls who start up an outreach campaign known as People Loving Art In their Neighborhoods and all have Jane in their names(sort of a Anti-Heathers). Other graphic novels to follow will be "Re-Gifters"(about a Korean-American Cali girl into martial arts),"Clubbing"(London party girl who investigates a mystery either Veronica Mars or Nancy Drew style)and "Good as Lily"( woman meets three different versions of herself at different ages,sounds like Freaky Friday redux).

This does sound good-the only thing that makes me a wee bit nervous is that DC is using Alloy Marketing as a consultant/partner. You remember Alloy,those folks involved with the Opal Mehta mess? Yes,they are the current experts in the field when it comes to mass-marketing teen girl lit but I just hope that they're more of a help than a hinderance here.





On the other hand,they seem to be recruiting some top notch creative people to this project. Writer Cecil Castellucci and illustrator Jim Rugg were tapped for the P.L.A.I.N. Janes and their credituals are sharp. Castellucci has written a couple of Young Adult novels(The Queen of Cool and Boy Proof) and Jim Rugg was the co-creator of Street Angel,a comic book series about a homeless girl who fights crime.I like these folk already(Street Angel sounds so Buffy)and it's great that young women are being seen as a viable audience for mainstream comic book publishers to provide quality material for.



The Minx books are due out in May,so that's yet another hot item to look forward to in '07. The Wonder Woman movie is still being worked on(please pick a leading lady soon,Joss!)and with rising teen heroines such as Heroes' Claire and Disney Channel's Wendy Wu,we should have some pretty powerful gals to keep hope alive for young womanhood until then.

I just wish that stuff like this was around when I was growing up. True,did have the WW TV series and others on the small screen like Isis but it would've been cool to have had a comic book heroine who didn't look like a sexed-up Barbie doll(nothing against Barbies,I have a few superhero/villian ones myself) or had to deal with some real world conflicts that don't involve destroying a death ray. Guess I was born too soon but am glad to see the change a-comin' for the next generation.

A few of my favorite inspiring things

The new issue of EW has an "inspirations" theme,asking celebs what gives or has given their creative muses fuel for thought. Gwen Stefani(I love the cover photo of her;she looks like a kickass super villian. Just click the title link for a look) cops to being a Sound of Music junkie, Stephen King raps with the Lost boys and film makers Christopher Guest,Anthony Mingella,McG and Catherine Hardwicke have a roundtable discussion on the movies and directors who made them want to lens up.

This got me to thinking about who and what have inspired me,pop culture wise,over the years and still today. So,without further ado,here's a list of my personal inspirations:

MUSIC

HEART: I'm not a High Fidelity kind of music lover but I know what I like when I hear it. Over the years,tough and tender tunesmiths like Pat Benatar,Joan Jett and Pink get my toes tapping and my head banging but the Wilson sisters of Heart are the ones I'd most like to be. Their mix of hard rock with romance can sooth the most savage of beasts,plus they are the original Hair Metal Band,in my opinion. Those girls could whield the hairspray and the mike as well as any guy group did:







BETTE MIDLER:I'm talking old school Bette-the raunchy,rollicking gal who would appear onstage as mermaid Delores Del Rio in a wheelchair and before Cher was even Moonstruck,rocked the silver screen as The Rose. She was bold,brassy and full of good humor. Bette loved to playact the diva(kind of a Miss Piggy made human)and while she still has a great set of pipes,I miss the wacky,anti-Steisand version of her that I grew up with:



TV:

V: Many people will name such miniseries as Roots,The Winds of War or even North & South as their favorites but on my list,one of the top slots goes to V. V(and it's sequel,The Final Battle)tells the allegorical tale of alien Visitors who subtly take over the earth in a Nazi like fashion which rallies together a cross section of folks to form a resistance movement. True,some of it is a tad hokey but having a sci fi battle for the fate of humanity on the small screen back then was pretty cool:






A spin-off weekly tv show followed briefly that kept many of the actors from both miniseries,including Jane Badler who played Diana,the most vicious Visitor of them all. Whether she was sweet talking suckers into going along with her evil plans,swallowing down live animals in one gulp or dishing out mind control torture sessions,she was the bitch from beyond that you loved to hate.

I,CLAUDIUS:The first PBS show(besides Sesame Street and other kiddie fare)that I really got into was this adaptation of Robert Graves' novels about the rise and fall of the ruling families of the Roman Empire,as seen by Claudius,an overlooked yet brilliant man who used his physical shortcomings to survive the bloodbath politics of his kin. With such great actors as Derek Jacobi,Sian Phillips and John Hurt as Caligula,this miniseries made ancient history as enjoyable as any soap opera:








MOVIES:

FRANKENSTEIN: Boris Karloff was one of the best horror movie actors ever(sorry,Lugosi fans)and his Frankenstein films still hold up today as classics. While Bride of Frankenstein is considered the best of the bunch(I adore Dr.Pretorious),the first film is what started it all. True,Karloff doesn't say much but his body language speaks volumes:



SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES: The animated fairy tale that all others aspire to. What I truly love about this movie is the Wicked Queen-that girl is poison! Yes, Snow White and all her forest friends are cute and sweet but the Wicked Queen is evily awesome. She's a determined woman who's not shy about getting her hands dirty to achieve her goals and a stylish dresser to boot:



BOOKS



JANE EYRE: I read this book dozens of times as a kid and while I haven't picked it up lately(making my way thru her sister Anne's Tenant of Wildfell Hall at the moment),my library would feel incomplete without it. Orphans seem exotic to kids who have both of their parents with them growing up(as I did)and to me,Jane Eyre was a orphan survival story,not this big gothic romance.

It is a good love story(if you like gloom and scary first wives rattling around the attic)but it's Jane resolve to face whatever lies in her path headon that really makes her such a wonderful heroine for the ages.




COMING ATTRACTIONS: Comedian Fannie Flagg's first novel(later retitled Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man)introduces you to Daisy Fay Harper,a spirited and sassy 11 year old girl in Mississippi of 1952 who keeps her head held high despite her father's get rich quick schemes that backfire with piazzaz,being mocked by Kay Bob Benson(the local Nellie Olsen)and the breakdown of her parent's marriage.

Daisy's sage extends to 1959,when she is competing in the Miss Mississippi pagent mainly to win a scholarship that'll take her to New York. Along the way,she makes some pretty unique friends such as Peachy Wigham,a black undertaker with an albino assistant,Vernon Mooseburger,a boy who went bald before high school and Billy Bundy,a preacher who cooks up a resurrection scheme with Daisy's father. By what ever name you call it,this book is a real humdinger of a read.

Well,that's just a hint of what floats my boat. Please feel free to share some of your own inspirations with the rest of the class. Props and dioramas are acceptable but not mandatory for your presentation.

Heroes save the Cheerleader,Ugly Betty snuggles up with her boss and a Top Chef Thanksgiving

On Heroes this week,Peter finally got to save the cheerleader on his own since Hiro hasn't yet returned from the past( Ando seems to be living in that diner until he shows back up). While we still haven't gotten a good look at Sylar,Claire and her Cordelia like nemesis,Jackie,got a first hand taste of what he's capable of dishing out for the unwary:




I wasn't surpised that Peter lived thru his Sylar encounter(despite the prophecy painting that Nathan destroyed-he really seems like a potential bad guy at some point)but was amazed that Sylar was caught so easily by Eden,aka Pretty Persuasion,and Mr. Bennet's silent partner there. Just hope that he doesn't share a holding cell with poor Issac. Next week's episode is entitled"Six Months Earlier" which implies that we're going to get alot of backstory on our superpowered friends but with those cliffhanger moments of Nicki/Jessica targeting DL thru a crosshair scope(talk about gunning for someone!)and Peter getting busted by the cops,I hope that we are not left in the dark for long.





Top Chef had quite a different twist on the quickfire challenge this week,granting five people immunity and having the others cook a "cutting edge" Thanksgiving dinner for the winners(along with the judges and special guest Anthony Bourdain)at the loft where all of the competing chefs live. Once again,lack of communication reared it's ugly head as most of the meal planning lead to alot of bickering,with Betty showing a very nasty side of herself.



I'm not a big fan of either Marcel or Michael but they did make an effort with this challenge-Marcel's Turkey Roulade with Cranberry Gelee certainly was a new approach to the traditional Thanksgiving fare(too bad it was dry)and I think most of his fellow contestants ragged on it mainly because they don't like him. Sometimes you have to give jerks their due,people. Also,Michael made several dishes and even tho his triple starch entree was over the top,atleast he showed some passion. Even Bourdain wound up liking him for his wacked out style-"He's like the love child of Charles Manson and Julia Child and he's serving me dinner!". If he can keep his focus and straighten up his act,Michael may have a decent shot at this. One tip,ease up on the booze,buddy!

Betty was so bitchy,shooting down other people's suggestions for the dinner(Michael's idea of a turducken lasagna would've worked,in my opinion)and slyly blaming other people for her crappy creme brulee. Look,if you're not good at making desserts(which Betty isn't),don't try to prepare very delicate dishes like a meringue or a brulee,which are tricky even for those who are experts at pastry,and then when it messes up,say"Oh,I only do comfort food." That's a total cop-out.



On to a much nicer Betty,boss Daniel got a taste of functional family life as he recovered from his hangover at the Suarez's(I am so envious of Betty's Little Mermaid sheets-I own a couple of Tim Burton movie based throws but haven't been bold enough to get an entire linen set)while Betty took command of a celebrity baby photo shoot. Glad to see Betty's true worth being recognized by Sofia(take the job offer,Betty!)and Daniel more than willing to let her move on to a better position. It was a shame that Santos couldn't appreciate Justin for who he is(so what if the kid likes to shop at fabric stores? It's better than being a manly man who gets beaten up by loan sharks on a regular basis)but Justin will be just fine,especially after having a celebrity photo session in his living room.

Marc was smart to use that info slip of Wil's to keep his job and gain some leverage in her scheme with Fay-just hope that he hasn't bitten more than he can chew! The promos for next week's show have Henry running into Betty yet again(Yah!Please,please ditch Walter!)and perhaps a way to get Betty's dad out of INS clutches.


Random Notes:

Nip/Tuck: I don't know what decision of Christian's is worse:asking Michelle to marry him(if he only knew what really happened to Burt,he'd certainly reconsider)or having Dr. Faith Wolper as his shrink,who eagerly told Sean about how Christian has some Tom Ripley feelings for him. Sean falling for her obvious line of instigating jealousy shows his complete vulnerability now with Julia truly out of his life:






Sean is atleast smart enough to see what trouble Michelle is,especially with those organ stealing days still not behind her. James' afterhours chopshop at McNamara/Troy is certain to lead to some really messy showdown before this season is over,mark my words. Next week,Sean gets very Bad Santa and Escobar sends some holiday greetings:




Veronica Mars: This season has been a bumpy one,with not enough time given to the likes of Weevil,Wallace and Mac(to be fair,Tina Majorino has been spliting time between VM and Big Love)and this whole campus rape storyline. While I find alot of the "is-it-disgusting-frat-boys or single-minded-antifrat-feminists" mystery to be interesting,there is a strong sense of unfocus here. Perhaps with next week's big Veronica Attacked episode,we may get this train back on track:

A Meal of Musical Melodies

Here's a few clips of holiday musical moments,to play in the background as you start serving up the bird tomorrow or working on that special secret stuffing recipe tonight. Hey,it's either this or Madonna humping boomboxes on NBC,pick your poison!

First up,an SNL Classic:



Next,some Ugly Betty on Broadway:





And a taste of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving theme:



To spice up the proceedings,here's s serving of Phantom of the Paradise Roast Beef Prima Donna,with a side order of Phoenix's Old Soul Souffle:






To clense the palate,try this dish from Somewhere That's Green:




And for the vegetarians/vegans in the house,here's a platter of Mean Green Mother From Outer Space:



Finally,for dessert,we have a Beauty & the Beast Banquet:

Some Pop Culture stuff to be thankful for

I was going to write this on Thanksgiving Eve but ten to one,most of you will be raiding the local grocery store for that last can of cranberry sauce or those special rolls that your family always has,so what better time than the present to go over those A&E items to be grateful for this season.

Yes,it's traditional to count your real life blessings(home,work,loved ones)and a very good thing to do but why not consider a few other bonus items in your retrospective? Whether it fills your cup to the brim or balances out your uneven load in life,Pop Culture adds some much needed spice to day-to-day existence.



Let's start things off with this sentence: Let us be thankful for:




... The OJ Simpson book and TV special being canceled and for the Laugh Factory's ban on Michael Richards after his vile racist tirade onstage. Many folks are saying that the OJ recall is due mainly to Rupert Murdoch(who issued an apology to the Brown and Goldman families)not wanting to take such a financial hit over this but so what? No matter why it was done,the right thing is the best thing to do.

As for Kramer,that whole "I'm not really a racist" line didn't work for Mel Gibson and he has way more box office clout than you do.


...Another great Harry Potter film to arrive next summer,The Order of the Phoenix. After seeing this teaser(as well as the new Spiderman 3 trailer),July of 2007 can't come soon enough for me:








...Heroes,which not only gives me a reason to watch NBC but inspires both comic book fans and their opposite numbers to unite together to groove on this show. So far,the cheerleader has been saved(for now),but will the world? Will Hiro return from the past in time to help avert the destruction of New York? Also,are we really going to see who Sylar is? I don't care if it's Sean Bean or Zachary Quinto,we need to see Sylar already!

Regardless of these and many other questions,I am so glad to have such a smartly written and well cast sci-fi fantasy program to keep me on my creative toes. Just stay the course,NBC,and us true believers will tune in at the same Bat-Time,same Bat-Channel!




...The Little Mermaid to finally come on Special Edition DVD. Disney is both evil and smart to release their big league animated classics for a limited time only which makes having this film now available in a sparkling two-disc version extra
sweet. TLM was the film that launched a nice mini-renaissance for Disney musicals,giving us not only such animated delights as Beauty & the Beast,Aladdin and The Lion King but some decent Best Song Oscar nominees and winners.



...Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen,to do so well on the bestseller lists and prove that good writing can be successful out there. Other good books to be happy for this year are Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl,An Alphabetical Life by Wendy Werris,Glass Books of the Dream Eaters by Gordon Dahlquist and The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield.






Good books are also on the way for 2007,with such gems as Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra,Fangland by John Marks(a modern re-telling of the Dracula story that mixes in some media satire)and Evolution,Me and Other Freaks of Nature by Robin Brande,which looks to be quite the YA must-read for next spring. Click onto Robin's blog,conveniently nestled amongst my blog links for your perusal,for more info and watch this space for reviews of Fangland and Sacred Games.

A shameless plug,but I am grateful to have a forum to shamelessly promote anything and to share fan love with all my fellow bloggers. So,have a Happy Turkey Day and hope that your family gathering is much more peaceful than this:



And this:

The Top Ten things I deciphered from The Da Vinci Code

So,I finally took a look at the Da Vinci Code movie this weekend and was rather shocked;it was actually good! I wasn't bored for one moment(then again,I like a movie that has scenes filled with tasty chunks of dialogue)and Tom Hanks' hair didn't distract me at all,unlike Barbra Streisand's nails in The Prince of Tides.

I don't know why so many critics felt the need to trash this film when guys like Rob Schneider are giving us sequels to Deuce Bigalow(and why was there a Garfield sequel? Who really needed that,except maybe Bill Murray looking for some quick voice over cash?). What I do know now after seeing DVC is this:




10) Beware of albino monks who walk around with cutting leg chains and have major daddy issues.

9)The French police are easy to avoid when you're being pursued for a crime you didn't commit.

8) "So Dark The Con of Man" should be the new graffiti slogan of the century.

7)Riddles are not just for Batman villains anymore.




6)History lessons are more interesting when accompanied by nifty computer generated renactments and Ian McKellan.





5)Ian McKellan is The Man,there is no higher-sucker emcees call him Sire!(actually,they call him Sir,since he's been knighted)

4) One of the perks of being the Last Scion is that you can cure claustrophobia with a temple massage.



3)Only the worthy can unlock the stone.

2)A cryptex is just as good of a birthday present from your grandfather as a wagon.

1) Why is it divine or human? Can't human be divine?

Well,I certainly think more highly of Dan Brown's books after seeing this movie and while I may not run right out and grab a copy of DVC,I'd certainly be willing to check out the film adaptation of Angels & Demons when it comes out in 2008. All those people protesting the whole Da Vinci phenomeneon sound as sensible as these snarky castle defenders here:

Some cinematic turkeys are tastier than others

Next week is Thanksgiving,aka Turkey Day and while it's a good time to get together with family & friends for a fine meal,it's also an excuse to watch trashy films.

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is the flick Demolition Man,where Sy Stallone plays John Spartan,who's a total break all the rules and then blow something up kind of cop in the 20th century who is framed for a crime by his arch nemesis Simon Phoenix(played by Wesley Snipes) and winds up being a prison popsicle who gets thawed out in the year 2032. Just the subtlety of the character names alone in this flick are enough to endear it to camp sci-fi lovers;Edgar Friendly,Lenina Huxley,Zachary Lamb.




The best thing about this movie is Wesley Snipes. He just has a ball being an over the top bad guy who revels in being set loose upon a world that's become "a pussy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of robed sissies." and getting some payback at his old foe. His physicality in this film enhances every scene he's in-the man is a literal whirling dervish. This scene is a good example of that. Even tho the dialogue's in German(sometimes you just have to make do with whatever YouTube has to offer,folks),you get the gist and the evil joy of what Simon is up to:



Here's another clip,in English but a tad fuzzy,that gives him a nice showcase:



Another good detail about this film is it's humor. There's quite abit of social satire about the rise of PC tactics-in this future,peace loving society, anything bad for you is not good,hence illegal. That means no salt,chocolate,alcohol,red meat,contact sports,swearing,caffeine,etc-all the fun things that make life worth living! No one has physical contact with each other,even for sex(it's done with these goofy VR helmets). Also,all restaurants are Taco Bell due to surviving the"Franchise Wars"(maybe McDonalds and Burger King wound up destroying each other as KFC and Subway were picked off by Starbucks)and Arnold Schwarzenegger has a Presidental library. Arnie had made a Stallone joke in The Last Action Hero,which I believe came out before DM, so that's a touch of Hollywood insider mockery there.




Not everyone enjoys this sanitized lifestyle which brings us to Denis Leary as the literally underground rebel leader Edgar Friendly. Edgar has a very simple philosophy on modern living that goes alittle something like this:

"[A]ccording to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal?"

Now's that the kind of guy I want to follow when the revolution comes. Even Simon Phoenix agrees with that-"You can't take away people's right to be assholes!" and stages a coup of his own. Of course,this is a Stallone movie and Sly gets plenty of opportunities to be befuddled by the new age wimpland he's been tossed into. One of the running gags in the film has Sandra Bullock(yep,it's her)trying to make old school slang talk and screwing it up bigtime,with John Spartan having to tell her "Away! It's let's blow this guy AWAY!" Not to mention lots of explosions and fighting which leads to trashing many of the setpieces.


So,if you're looking for a slice of mindless entertainment to help settle your stomach after Thanksgiving dinner,Demolition Man is a great item on the menu. It's sure to be available at your local video store(all the Bond movies will be out,even the Timothy Dalton one)and makes for fun family viewing. Be well!

Gilmore Girls in Paris,South Park season finale and Top Chef's double dip elimination

Top Chef eliminated two contestants last night,Josie and Marisa(probaly to even the numbers out after not kicking anyone off last time due to all the cheating accusations)after a challenge to cook a six course meal for actress Jennifer Coolidge(aka Stifler's mom,as Michael gleefully pointed out)and friends,using leftovers in the pantry of Hollywood Social,a pretty fancy restaurant.




One of the big probelms with this challenge,to me,was lack of communication-the chefs were in teams of two,with one course to make that was chosen by random knife pulls(I love the whole knife selection gimmick-don't recall them doing that so much last season). Nobody tried to plan a complete menu(Betty did ask in the kitchen for folks to talk about what they should make but she was ignored)-everyone just walked on in and grabbed up whatever they thought looked good. I'm not a big foodie but it is just common sense to me that if you're making a six course meal,it would be a good idea to combine dishes that,tastewise,flow together. Josie and Marisa made the fifth course,which was two types of fruit salad and a prickly pear/coconut soup. Not a bad idea(that soup did look very Pepto Bismal)but it was served right before the dessert course! Sweet on top of sweet is too much.

The other teams were no better-the first two courses were fish based and Betty & Mia's duck Napoleon was a total misfire(Mia may have been feeling guilty about ratting out Betty last time,which explains why she went along with the dish concept despite her doubts). I agree with Judge Tom that too many of the contestants seem to being playing it safe-middle ground makes middling food,people!



On Gilmore Girls,Lorelai and Christopher went to Paris so that Gigi could see her mom(even tho we didn't-guess they couldn't get Madchen Amick to make a guest appearance)and for Christopher to propose to Lorelai. It was a nice moment but I'm not getting all worked up about,since my storyteller sense is telling me that this will all lead up to Lorelai & Luke getting back together. No,I don't have any spoiler info but my nose knows,you know? The Lane/Zack/Mrs. Kim subplot is more fun for me-Lane having twins,ouch!-and the idea of naming your kids Marco and Polo is cute,in a Hollywood sort of way. Next week,Rory finds out about her parents' secret wedding in gay Paree and gets miffed.




South Park wrapped up their tenth season with a sports movie parody(Trey and Stone must devour those flicks whole,to come up with such on-point mockery)that delievered an unexpected happy ending to some. It's good that they capped things off with a non topical episode,not to mention that topping "Go,God,Go" wouldn't be easy. Perhaps by the time SP starts up again, they can do some riffs on Borat and the OJ book.

Random Notes:

Nip/Tuck: What can I say about the Back to the Future-ness of this week's show? Christian cracked me up with his Austin Powers look and Jennifer Elise Cox(Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch send-up movies)was suitable wacky as a grown-up Annie. If you've watched this series long enough,it's not surpising that the girl would become a mental case. Mainly,this episode was about writing Julia off the show(Joely Richardson decided to take time off to tend to her real life daughter's illness)and while that was done well,it did amaze me that Sean and Julia didn't discuss the dead guy in their den from last week! Cheating's a big deal but I think a dead body in the family home pushes that issue to the side.

Brooke Shields will be back next week and it looks like she's going to spill some of Christian's secrets to Sean. Yep,it's dramatime!

Ugly Betty: Will Betty ever get rid of Walter? He's such a whiner and so not helpful to Betty's career ambitions(altho Betty's choice of evening wear for fine dining is self sabotage in itself). Would it kill you to stop clinging to the woman and try some food that isn't in a Happy Meal? Glad to see a non-Fay episode;the plotline is intriguing but it's good to give the characters some fresh air to breathe. Wilemina doing those body shots and getting that Beau-Mart account by revealing her mom/daughter probelms was a good broadening of her personality.

The Office: I've been catching up with the show online and love the whole Scranton Vs. Stamford vibe this season. Of course,those two worlds are now colliding which should bring even more laughs and yes,now we have a Jim/Pam/Karen love triangle.

While I hate this song with a burning passion,this is such a well edited montage of Office clips that I couldn't resist posting for your amusement:

O. J. Simpson's How to Get Away with Murder...Not!,or I'll take Celebrity Criminals for 200,Alex!

It was announced today that not only would O.J. Simpson have a book about the murders entitled"If I Did It,Here's How It Happened" out by November 30(just in time for holiday shopping!)but would also be interviewed in a two-part special on Fox later this month by his publisher,Judith Regan. If you're not sure what the subject matter of this book is,here's a description:

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

Well,I guess Mel Gibson can breathe alittle easier now that he's been officially knocked out of the Crazy Celebrity Spotlight with this major league act of chutzpah. This should be quite a boon to comedians everywhere who have gotten such good milage from this whole thing over the years:





Just when you thought tastelessness has reached it's limits,there is yet another layer of scum to be scrapped off the bottom of the barrel and splattered forth for public consumation. Nevermind the did-he or didn't-he question for the moment-why would a man who has two young children by his deceased wife,put out a book about how he might have murdered their mother? Bad enough that this whole ordeal has probaly given them some horrific emotional scars but to compound that with this "well,if I really,really wanted to kill Mommy and her new boyfriend,I would've been smarter about it than those cops said"attitude is mind blowing.


I know that plenty of people will say"Hey,he has the right to tell his story! He was acquitted(in criminal court)." Yeah but if you're lucky enough not to go up the river for something that bad,is it smart to rock the boat? Even a crazy guy like Robert Blake,who had one of the worst alibis on paper,knows to stick to his lie!



Well,this special should get the all the high ratings(during November Sweeps,what a coincidence!)the network wants and the book may sell very well,for awhile. My curiosity is as peaked as the next person's but there are some things that even I don't want to stomach and this is definately where my gamepiece lands on Stop,Go Directly to PBS. Gear up,folks-this should be quite a sideshow for weeks to come.

Open letter to disgruntled Borat movie players

Dear Unhappy Campers:


So,you were in the Borat film and didn't realize that it was a big joke played on you-as my father used to say"Boo-hoo,I've been crying over you,boo-hoo!".

Most of you were paid for your efforts and all were asked to sign a waiver,which means that if you had second thoughts about this whole thing,the time to do something about it is long past. If you don't have the sense to read a legal document before signing it,a certain fellow in red would love to sell you eternal youth with just a few drops of blood-ink is so passe!

Okay,frat boys-your story is that the producers got you all liqoured up before you signed up. Well,suck it up,guys. If the people who put out Girls Gone Wild can make a buck off of stupid drunken college kids who are willing to do anything in front of a camera,you're plumb out of luck getting sympathy here. Maybe next time,you'll think before you drink. Consider it a little life lesson.



Villagers of Glod,you feel cheated by the movie's portrayal of your town and by how little you were paid for your cooperation. The best way to get over that:tourist attraction! This movie could do for you what Peter Jackson did for New Zealand,make your hometown a very desirable place for vacationing foriegners with plenty of money to spend on movie-related souvenirs. I can see the ad campaign now:"Come see the real Kazakhstan! Is Nice. High Five!":



As for the rest of you,lighten up a little. Everyone has those moments when they get tripped up by a prankster and lots of folks have it on film. It's not the worst thing in the world. Why not enjoy some of the 15 minutes of fame that's been granted you here? It's not like being caught foolishly on film makes you a social outcast,otherwise America's Funniest Home Videos wouldn't be considered family viewing. It's best to have a sense of humor about the whole thing,like these people did and mellow out:





And if you're still not convinced,let me put it to this way. All this negative publicity is just as good at selling tickets to the movie as positive,in fact even more so. Did the whole Brangelina deal sink Mr. & Mrs. Smith at the box office? No.

Did Tom Cruise's wacky antics hurt War of the Worlds or MI:III? Not really. Granted that while some bad PR does hinder a creative project at times(Yes,Mel Gibson,this is directed at you),sometimes it just generates a gold mine. Why help Sasha Baron Cohen make any more money off of you?

Sincerely,

Lady T and the rest of the Borat fanbase

P.S. If you still can't take a joke,then enjoy the pity party,people!

Tripping to Somewhere gives you quite a joyride

Kristopher Reisz's first novel,Tripping to Somewhere,starts off with two best friends,Sam and Gilly,spending a typical bored teen night hanging out at the local convience store,sharing stories of woe. Things turn around quickly as the girls are handed a chance to find the Witches' Carnival,a band of immortal wanderers who use their magics to show up for parties and public gatherings where ever and when ever in the world. With a tip from Meek,an eccentric one eyed nomad,Sam and Gilly take off to Atlanta with about 50 grand in cash and a bond of reckless abandon that's easier for Sam to embrace than Gilly,atleast at first.



One of the things making Gilly nervous is the money,which she stole from her police officer father's stash of shakedown payments. Another thing holding her back a bit is the nature of their friendship. Sam has been the one who stands up for Gilly against the world,particularly when Gilly's being gay made her a social outcast. While Sam views their relationship as a friendship with"benefits",Gilly wants more,not only from Sam but from life itself. She longs to be considered beautiful and brave and her encounter with Maggie,one of the members of the Witches' Carnival,has a profound effect on her not only emotionally but romantically as well.

This is a teen fantasy novel that's interlaced with strong touches of reality(drug use,profanity and other things that would land TTS an R rating if it were a movie)and a honest approach to how strong a friendship can or should be. The key focus in this book is the relationship between Sam and Gilly;Reisz creates a pair of tough and tender heroines that if you don't know someone who reminds of them,you fervently wish that you did. Also,Reisz is sharp enought not to prop up the adult characters in the story as one dimensional lack-brains and villians;Gilly's father could've easily been a cardboard Bad Dad but has his own emotional dilemmas and hard choices to make and live with.

So,even with Halloween being a distant date on next year's calendar,you can still get some magical thrills from Tripping to Somewhere. If you're curious about the author,please click the title link above to see his website and check out his blog. This book may be shelved in the teen section but it would be just as appropiate to keep TTS with Poppy Z. Brite and Neil Gaiman. TTS has the charming head rush thrill of both of those writers with an original flavor that is all it's own.

Spiderman 3:could this be the Perfect Trilogy?

Last night,the new full length trailer for Spiderman 3 debuted on several networks and made an instantly amazing impression. If you didn't see it on Tv(along with me),here's a good look at it:







Film trilogies are hard to pull off-witness the likes of Superman III,Godfather III and Batman Forever(altho I think Batman & Robin is a thousand times worse and yes,I watched twice when it was in theaters). Sure,you do lucky every now and then,with a Return of the Jedi here,a Return of the King there but it's usually the third time around that the signs of decline pop up like pimples such as overdone F/X,watered down storylines,many of the cast members from the first two films refusing to sign on.


Even a seriously thought out plot can get easily overinvolved in itself that it alienates the core audience(see Matrix:Revolutions).





One of the reasons that a trilogy does well is continuity of the creative forces behind it. Sam Raimi driving the helm here for Spiderman is a major incentive for folks to have faith in pre-ordering their tickets. Change of director is not always a bad thing-Richard Lester held Superman II together pretty well after Richard Donnor left-but it can radically alter the path that's been laid out well to begin with. Some of the worry about Brett Ratner taking over for Bryan Singer on X-Men:The Last Stand was warranted. X3 was watchable and entertaining at times but not as solidly crafted as a Singer version would've been.




So,based on this trailer and the past track record of the earlier films,it looks like moviegoers will be in for one hell of a ride next summer. I like how the main conflict is all about Peter Parker being drawn into a web of revenge and tempted to use his powers in a more Batman kind of way(also,Venom looks incredible. Science be praised!). The scariest enemy anyone can face is themselves and the best storytellers know how to successfully bring that idea to the forefront without beating you over the head with the concept. Many of us are going to be like Cartman waiting for the Nintendo Wii with this film:

The Coalminers are off TAR,Top Chef simmers in more controversy stew and Nip/Tuck serves up some Season One specials

Top Chef had quite a few ups and downs this week as no one was eliminated due to multiple accusations of cheating. The big challenge here was to divide into four teams and make a meal for kids at a weight-loss camp that was only 500 calories. The Black Team(Frank,Marcel & Betty) won this round but were crunched by Betty's cookies.The rules were that after your team's menu was approved by a nutritionist,your recipes could not be changed. Betty was making meringue cookies with Splenda which didn't work out so the next day she put in some regular sugar.




She did 'fess up to this and I believe her when she says that since her team was under the 500 mark(by about 60 calories),she thought it would be okay. Her cookies were not the ultimate reason her team won(the true success was making the main entree a pizza and Frank's recipe put them over the top,for which he was well rewarded)and this whole thing only came up due to two of the losing teams complaining about other people cheating by adding olive oil when the nutritionists weren't around.

I'm not in favor of cheating but if you see someone breaking the rules,shouldn't the time to confront that issue be sooner than later? Sam was the first to start playing the blame game but he didn't have the guts to name names. Hey,if you saw other teams with those"squeeze" bottles of olive oil,why didn't you do anything about it until you were called on the carpet for making a sour tasting smoothie?

Mia was the one who named Betty as a cheater in front of the judges but later,when the chefs were among themselves,lied about doing so. Not cool-if you're going to throw someone under the bus,atleast have the decency to let them know who. Hopefully next week's challenge will leave a better taste in everyone's mouth.



The Amazing Race had to say goodbye to the Coalminer Couple,David and Mary as they could not dodge the second marked-for-elimination bullet aimed at them. The Six Pack has now become a Two Pack,with the Cho brothers and Team Alabama(Lynn & Karlyn)holding off against the Male Models,Rob & Kimberly aka the Bickersons and the Beauty Queens who seem more like the Wicked Stepsisters as they sneer at other teams and do things like abandon their crumpled car(which they wrecked themselves!)and take someone's vehicle to the airport instead. Nice,ladies,real nice.

Nip/Tuck had another blast from the past,this time a two for one deal with Merrill Bobolit being the go between for Escobar who convinced the good docs to repair his burned face back to it's original look(he looked like something out of Hellraiser when the surgery was done). Sean and Christian also got a fun visit from Matt and Kimber and learned three fun facts: a)Matt and Kimber are married,b)Kimber's pregnant and c)Kimber wants her implants taken out for free so she can breast feed the kid. Gee,couldn't they have just sent out a wedding registry like other folks do?

While it wasn't kosher of Christian to use Kimber's operation as a means of drawing a DNA sample to see if the baby was his,I can't feel sorry for her. She treats Matt like a dog and why Julia didn't bitchslap her one after Kimber berated him viciously over a glass of water is beyond me. If that had been my mom, that would've Showdown City right then and there. Julia is so damn wishy-washy at times,it's a wonder that she didn't hook up with Charlie Brown!

Next week's episode looks pretty interesting,with a look at the characters as they might be in the year 2026. Either this will be a fun,creative episode or something that makes the futuristic scenes in "Click" look Oscar-worthy:




Random Notes:

South Park: The follow-up to "Go,God,Go Part II" was a great riff on time travel cliches and the whole concept of "isms". The best stuff was all of the Buck Rogers in the 25th century homages,with their own versions of Twiki the robot and Erin Gray in the two piece spandex suit she always ran around in. Just take a look at how well they did this:

Original Buck Rogers intro:



South Park version:



America's Next Top Model: Anchal was sent packing this time and I felt so bad for her. All thru the show,people have been talking smack to this girl,particularly Melrose(who resembles a pre-druggie Courtney Love). I didn't like the way Tyra lectured her and another one of the contestants about how they were making the judges regret even choosing them in the first place,just because they couldn't complete a goofy challenge right in front of them. Melrose was told to box and she vogued instead but got props for that! Anchal's better off getting out of that corral of catty cat cats.


Smallville: Green Arrow has a Afterschool Special moment here,when Clark realizes that Ollie's been taking some superhero enhancers. There was a drug addiction storyline in the Green Arrow comics around the 1970s,if I recall correctly,so this seems like a tip of the hat to the DC cannon. Wonder if the Betty Ford clinic is still in vogue for rehab these days?

What the frak?!

Yesterday,as I was watching Judge Judy(one of my favorite daytime purveyors of justice and the verbal smackdown),there was a news update scrawled at the bottom of the scene that started"This just in...". Usually when you see that on daytime tv,it's followed up with info like"A major storm is about to hit the area"or "An arrest has been made",something important like that. However,the big news flash here was "Britney Spears has just filed for divorce from Keven Federline." As Kyle's mom would say"What what what!!"

This is breaking news,on CBS of all places? CBS,with Walter Kronkite,Dan Rather and now Katie"Cutie" Couric? If I was watching MTV or E!,that qualifies there as a major story worth announcing during regular programming but CBS?! Let's see,what other news stories were around yesterday...an arrest was made in the alledged suicide of indie actress Adrienne Shelly who turned out to be a murder victim,we're still fighting in a war overseas and oh,there's a big election going on but hey,Britney and K-Fed breaking up is top priority,people!

I love celeb news(not enough to see Anna Nicole Smith slobber all over herself as she sells her emotional woes)as much as the next gal but there are appropriate times and places for that stuff to be indulged in. The Reese & Ryan split-up didn't get bottom screen scrawl on a major network and Witherspoon's an Oscar winner. What gives?

Speaking of appropriate behavior,musicians are getting a bad rap for poor sportsmanship lately,with Kayne West blowing up at the MTV Europe Awards due to not winning Best Video(even tho he had recieved an award earlier in the show)and interrupting another band's speech to complain about his loss:



At the Country Music Awards recently,Faith Hill was on camera as the nominees were announced for Best Female Vocalist and when Carrie Underwood won,she seemed to not take it very well. See for yourself:



This is not cool,guys. Winning isn't everything and it really shows what your character is made of when you accept a defeat as well as a victory. Most are claiming that Faith Hill was just kidding or saying that Carrie Underwood didn't even deserve to win in the first place. Faith Hill's website has a statement about this that says"The idea that I would act disrespectful towards a fellow musician is unimaginable to me,"... "For this to become a focus of attention given the talent gathered is utterly ridiculous. Carrie is a talented and deserving Female Vocalist of The Year." Ok,Faith but either you're an undiscovered bad actress or can't pull off a knock-knock joke to save your life because that looked pretty authentic to me.

There's not much I can say to Kanye,who has a severe case of foot-in-mouth disorder with delusions of grandeur as a side order of fries. He reminds me of Montana Max from the Tiny Toons Adventures show,with all his preening and posturings about the wonder that is him and his music:



Ego run rampant is not attractive and can really turn off even the most dedicated fans of any artist. It would be nice to see humility come back into style but that's as likely as Ben & Jerry putting out bacon/avocado ice cream or Madonna realizing that she's not a good author of children's books. Then again,stranger things have happened so keep hope alive,etiquette lovers!

Is he Bond? James Bond?

Coming soon to a theater near you is yet another 007 flick(a remake,actually),Casino Royale starring Daniel Craig as James Bond. Is it just me or has the whole Bond thing truly played itself out?




I know there are plenty of die-hard fans out there,folks who debate the Sean Connery/Roger Moore/Pierce Brosnan/etc-who-was-the-best-Bond as passionate as those Trekkies who chose their friends by their allegiance to either Kirk or Picard,but as a casual observer(who prefers Connery above all and feels that Brosnan was pretty damn good),I find it hard to care about this franchise anymore.




My main probelm here is the casting of Daniel Craig;he really doesn't seem like a Bond to me. James Bond is a smooth,debonair British gent who can sweet talk the ladies into the sack and kick major bad guy ass while ordering his infamous "shaken,not stirred" martini. Craig looks more like a Bond villian,total thug face. Hell, he'd fit in more in the next Sin City movie as Marv's younger brother than as one of Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Also,it's hard to ger worked up over a 007 film these days-flicks like Mission Impossible and the Die Hard series have taken over the whole big budget action genre quite nicely. Yes,they've worn out their welcomes,too. However,after the success of the Austin Powers films,it's hard to take Bond even somewhat seriously. The cliches have become instantly recognized punchlines to even those unfamilar with the earlier films and we're not getting any real top-notch baddies for him to go up against. Heck,Roger Moore had atleast Richard Kiel as Jaws!


The true test of a good Bond movie is the theme song,IMO. Check out this video for Casino Royale's title tune,You Know My Name and compare it to some of these other clips of my favorite Bond melodies:



Goldeneye:



Goldfinger:



A View To A Kill:



For Your Eyes Only:





So,who would have made a better Bond? Clive Owen and Christian Bale were a couple of the choices mentioned that certainly caught my attention. My personal pick would be Julian McMahon,from Nip/Tuck and The Fantastic Four(hey,if he can play Victor Von Doom,Bond should be a snap). I know he's Australian but so what? At this point,any change up would be good. There was talk of having a female Bond or a African-American 007 a few years ago,which would've been creative but nope,that didn't fly.

Well,good luck with Casino Royale,Mr. Craig. As for me,if I need a sexy secret agent fix,there's always a cable channel running a Sean Connery marathon somewhere out there or I could actually watch 24 on DVD. Kiefer Sutherland is one of my favorite onscreen vampires and he's still sweet on the eyes.

Borat becomes blockbuster film;very nice! high five!

Borat:Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan(had to write that out atleast once)was the"surpise" hit film this weekend,reaching the top of the box office charts with $26 million dollars. I wasn't as shocked as some of the folks who keep tabs on Hollywood hitmakers since I've been seeing the major fan love that has been building up for Sasha Baron Cohen's character all over the place and many new fans have gleefully joined in,thanks to YouTube clips from Da Ali G show like this one:






I went to the first showing of Borat in my area on Friday(with Little Sister,who has been counting the days until it opened)and it was a rather large audience for an early afternoon matinee on a work/school day. The very loose plot of the film has Borat making a cross country documentary of American culture for his homeland of Kazakhstan,with California as the highpoint of the trip due to Borat's desire to
meet and marry Pamela Anderson. Most of the interaction in the movie is with real people who are unaware that Borat is just a comedic character and make very revealing remarks at times that are worse than any of the rude and racist statements that Borat utters with wide eyed innocence.

One of the best things about SBC's creation is how he shows the incredible condescending nature of folks towards visiting foreigners;many treat Borat as an ignorant child and put up with behavior that would get you kicked out of a hot dog stand:





20th Century Fox decided to cut down the number of theaters that would debut the Borat movie on Nov 3,from 1,500 to 800(the film will be in even wider release by the upcoming weekend)due to worries that not enough people were aware of it,despite the internet hype. While that's a legit concern(see Snakes On A Plane),they should've realized that this character already had a good cult following to begin with.

While the Borat film may definately not be everyone's cup of tea,the movie is on it's way to becoming one of the major comedies of the year. If you do see it in theaters,hopefully you'll get to see either the trailer for Reno 911: Miami or this knee-slapper of a film,Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny,beforehand: