BEA,The Da Vinci Code and other Monday madness

Kathleen McGowan,author of The Expected One,recieved a nice write-up and her own headline in the NY Times this morning in an article about BookExpo America(please click title link above) which was held in Washington D.C. over the weekend. C-Span had some coverage of the convention on their BookTV line-up. They showed an early morning breakfast with Barack Obama(who left the room right after he spoke)Amy Sedaris and John Updike. Updike didn't talk about his new novel,Terrorist,but instead made a nice speech about the importance of booksellers. I'm not a big Updike person myself(only read The Witches of Eastwick and actually liked the movie better)but it was cool of him to give props to the book folk out there in the trenches.

Amy Sedaris(sister of David and star of "Strangers With Candy")gave one wacky speech about her upcoming book which will be called "I Like You",sort of a parody of Martha Stewart Living type of books,I'm guessing. She was damn funny but I'm not sure everyone got her sense of humor-there were some confused faces in the crowd.

The Da Vinci Code blew the roof off of the box office by making $224 million worldwide-77 million came from the U.S. alone. I knew this movie was review-proof but ye gods and little fishes,that's one hell of a haul! Over the Hedge came in at second and yep,MI:III made it to third(awwww!). I didn't see DVC but from the box office numbers,it's probaly best that I didn't cram myself into a theater and fight off protestors for it yet. It'll be interesting to see how DVC takes on X-Men:The Last Stand over Memorial Day weekend-finally,some movies worth our attention!

Madonna's Confessions tour opened on Sunday with her usual attempts at shock; she came out on a mirrored cross(wearing a crown of thorns)to sing "Live To Tell" and then later during a costume change,treated the audience to a video montage of images of Bush,Tony Blair,Osama Bin Laden and Hitler. Other highlights include her dressing up in a Saturday Night Fever disco suit,wearing a white cape that had "Dancing Queen" on the back and running around in an S&M suit while whipping dancers who had ball gags in their mouths.




I have a confession to make:I am so over Madonna. She's become a walking,talking cliche of celebrity self-involvement and her attempts to freak people out are as tired as a Surreal Life marathon. One of her great strengths was her chameleon skills at upgrading her style but she can't turn the trick anymore than Blanche Dubois could by the time she got abroad that streetcar named Desire. Her children's books were a waste of space(yes,I read them and consider it a form of child abuse to add them to any kid's library)and like Howard Stern,she's holding on to her fame by the core of die-hard fans who will remain loyal to the end. That's fine but I prefer to remember her back when she was still fun. Hell,even her songs for the Dick Tracy movie were better than some of the crap she's shilling now.

Well,that's all for now. Tune in next time for more book news,movie highlights and celebrity bashing(only if they're really asking for it)right here at LRG!

Awaiting The Expected One

With all this Da Vinci Code movie buzz(the reviews are now pouring in and most of them are already nominating DVC for next year's Razzies)this week,I've been diving into another novel along the same lines due out this summer called The Expected One. The author,Kathleen McGowan,originally self-published this book as part one of a trilogy dubbed The Magdalene Line and did so well with it that Simon & Schuster made her a deal to republish all three under their banner,with a nice Book of the Month Club split Main Selection and foreign rights sold in about 18 countries thrown in the mix.

I was fortunate enough to recieve an advance reader's edition(which is now being offered up to BEA attendees in Washington as we speak)and while I haven't read enough to give TEO a full review,I can say that this is a pretty compelling read so far.

The heroine of TEO is Maureen Paschal,who while researching in Israel for an book about the true history of certain "infamous" women,acquires a mysterious ring and has a strange vision of a woman trapped in a crowd. She also has numberous dreams about this woman(who,yes,is Mary Magdalene)which she only discusses with her cousin Peter,a priest who teaches languages at the local university. Maureen's book does well and attracts the attention of many who are interested in the Magdalene legend,including Beringer Sinclair who uses some of his wealth to fund groups and projects about Mary Magdalene. Sinclair sends Maureen a painting(in which one of the subjects strongly resembles her)and an invite to visit him in France on the summer solstice.

This book seems to share similar themes with Kate Mosse's Labyrinth about looking into feminine spiritual roles and unlocking hidden truths,which is great. It's good that fellas like Dan Brown and Javier Sierra got the ball rolling here and I'm happy to see literary ladies join in to keep the game going. I'm not going to get into any debates on what or who Mary Magdalene was or is-my only concern as a reader is the strength of the story;does it work,do I care what happens to the characters,is this plotline a wee bit plausible? That's what matters to me. The rest is all gravy goodness(and I don't even like gravy!).

I'll have a real review soon for The Expected One(please click the title link for more info about Kathleen McGowan)and if I happen to see the DVC movie,that'll get a write-up,too. Theories may come and go but a good story lasts forever. I'm not saying that TEO is an instant classic but it's very readable with strong leads and that's more that many books can claim to possess.

TV Time Round-up

First,some good news: The CW has announced their fall schedule and are keeping alive such fan faves as Supernatural,Gilmore Girls,Smallville,Everybody Hates Chris and Veronica Mars. The downside to that is they're also having America's Next Top Model and Seventh Heaven on the line-up-can I get a group "ARRGH!" here? Oh,well,some folks like those shows,too and it could be worse after all,atleast Charmed is finally getting exorcised from primetime viewing(yet will live forever in reruns*shudder*).




On the reality show front,The Amazing Race's two hour conclusion had thrills and spills,with BJ and Tyler(aka The Hippies)winning the million dollars. I was so happy-it's nice to see goodhearted folks like that get their just rewards. Eric & Jeremy,the reviled Frat Boys,seemed to begrudgingly accept the second spot(maybe if they had been paying alittle more attention to where they've been instead of all the girls they tried to mack on,they would've done better on that final flag challenge). Too bad about Ray and Yolanda but it looks like they'll be a better couple for going on the Race so they're winners as well.




Top Chef had another elimination challenge last night which knocked Dave out of the running,leaving Tiffani and Harold as the Final Two. I really felt bad for Dave,he's overemotional but does care alot about what he does and backs people up when it counts. Unfortunately,he botched one of the room services request by only making two dishes,not three and in the real world,that would get you in some trouble. I'm all for Harold-he's been very consistant thru out the entire show and I would rather eat a hamburger made by him than any three course dinner Tiffani would love to showcase.




And yes,American Idol is down to two: Kat and Taylor. I know I'm not the only one who didn't see that coming. Due to watching the AR finale,I only caught the last few minutes of AI so I missed out on Taylor's"Taking It To The Streets" dance number. Taylor gives Napoleon Dynamite a run for his money in the goofy public display catagory,that's for damn sure. Lots of folks have given up on AI already and I can't really blame them,with such talents as Chris and Paris having gotten the boot. My only hope here is that Taylor wins.




Sure,Taylor's wacky but he can sing and has a personality-Kat is duller than dishwater,with a beauty pagent contestant smile and a pleasant voice. That "Over the Rainbow" number did not impress me(why she thinks her best performances are done while kneeling on the floor is beyond me. ) In my opinion,if Judy Garland had heard that number,she'd be guzzling gin straight from the bottle. Granted Judy would be doing that anyway(as Little Sister pointed out to me)but she wouldn't even bother with finding a glass or any olives. Oh well,it'll all be over soon enough. Then we can focus our attention on more important matters like setting up a betting pool to see how long it'll take Social Services to swoop in and save Brittany Spears' kids from becoming the subject matter of a Lifetime made-for-Tv-movie.

Da Vinci Code's Cannes debute raises some doubts

The juggernaut that is the Da Vinci Code(not the Juggernaut who'll be in X-Men: The Last Stand) film had it's premiere at the Cannes film festival last night and from what I read,the reception to it was not good. Members of the audience were heard to be laughing and making catcalls during certain parts. Most folks seemed to be impatient with the length of the movie(the running time is 2 1/2 hours) and some were reported to have walked out during the closing minutes. No one clapped at the end of the DVC-in fact,there were hisses and whistles.


The NY Times also did a report about the lack of advance screenings for DVC,with the producers saying they wanted to keep a lid on spoilers from bloggers and movie websites. Nonetheless,I did find a review at Rotten Tomatoes(which is linked in the title above). The review is from JoBlo.com(don't let the name put you off,they give pretty good write-ups)and basically says what many of the critics at Cannes said:the movie is real damn long and not that exciting. Ian McKellan is cool and so is Paul Bettany who plays the infamous albino monk.

I didn't read DVC and really don't intend to see the movie but,who knows? A lady is entitled to change her mind and part of me is curious to see what all the hoopla is about. I'm sure this movie is nowhere in the realm of greatness as The Last Temptation of Christ(now that book,I read!) Plus,the fact that the very ideas this fictional story expresses about Jesus and Mary Magdalene have some folks all in an uproar and ready to protest this flick around the world gives me a bit of a rebel yell itch to scratch.

Frankly,I think this movie is pretty much review-proof. Tons of DVC fans are going to hit the theaters this weekend(Tom Cruise and Co. can kiss their box office lead goodbye)and many of the curious will follow. This could be either this year's Dances with Wolves or Battlefield Earth,it's a toss-up. Regardless,your only other new film options are either Over The Hedge or See No Evil. So,you can either check Tom Hanks in Steven Segal hair,cartoon animals who sound like Steve Carell and Bruce Willis or Kane from the WWE getting medievel on a bunch of punk kids. Gotta love the mulitplex sometimes,folks!

The Yellow Lighted Bookshop:A beacon of biblio bliss

One of my favorite non fiction catagories is known as books about books and a subgenre of that would be books about bookselling. Lewis Buzbee's new book,The Yellow Lighted Bookshop is a must read for those who not only have many other titles on the same subject but for those who only see a bookstore as just another place to buy stuff. You won't think that way anymore after reading this book-it's a definative eye opener for booklovers of all stripes.

Buzbee recounts his working experiences in the book world(he worked at several independant book stores such as The UpStart Crow and Printers,Inc,then later became a publisher's sales rep)as well as mixing in some bookseller history and thoughts about the latest changes in bookselling. Even if you're very well versed in the history of books,you'll find some new fun fact to mull over. One chapter highlights some of his favorite places to buy books in the U.S and abroad(for folks who take bookstore tours,YLBS can give some great ideas for your vacation plans).

What I really like about YLBS is the easy conversational tone of the writing;it's like having a wonderful long talk with a good buddy who's seen it all and yet is not a cynic about the present and future of literacy. He speaks from life experience(just a few paragraphs about how tricky shelving is more than convinced me that Buzbee knows his stuff)and has some interesting opinions,such as having all citizens do a mandatory two years of working retail(his theory is that it will not only help the economy but create better customers who'll be a lot more understanding towards the sales staff having walked a mile in their shoes. Not a bad idea.)

Like many who write in this genre,Buzbee has a major fanlove for a certain author and his icon is John Steinbeck. He doesn't overly swoon over Steinbeck's work but rather has a clear and open admiration. He even visited Cannery Row(which has vastly changed from Steinbeck's time)and as someone who's visited a few Jane Austen sites myself,I can understand how he felt seeing it as part of the wider world yet still within his reach.

Buzbee also talks about the many friends he's made over the years thru books such as Greta Ray(who he first met at The Upstart Crow) and others who have taken many unique turns in life-one former friend from his days at Printers now has a bookstore/tatoo parlor out in Garberville,CA. This is the kind of book I'd give to a good friend and hopefully many other readers will feel the same way. The Yellow Lighted Bookshop is due out in June(please click the title link for more details)so keep a sharp eye out for it at a bookstore near you. It's a short but sweetly savvy look at what many consider to be their second home away from home.

You say best fiction,I say....

Last week,the online version of the NY Times had a upcoming Sunday Book Review feature(due in print form on May 21)called What Is The Best Fiction Of The Last 25 Years? According to the panel they chose(more details can be found in the title link above),the top book was Beloved by Toni Morrison. The runners-up included such notables as Cormac McCarthy's Border Trilogy,The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien and six Phillip Roth novels.

The early release of this article is obviously meant to cause some buzz and maybe to start a literary dialogue that doesn't involve an author caught with their hand in the cookie jar. To me,this list just seems like one of those assigned reading lists they hand out to AP students for the summer-all the books are quality but not all that thrilling. I've read Beloved and yes,it's a great book but it didn't inspire me to look up any of her other books(Alice Walker,I did atleast try a couple of her other ones).Frankly,when I saw the headline,the first book that popped into my mind was The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon.

K&C is pretty well known but in case you're not familar with it,it's the story of two cousins(one of whom is a new arrival in pre-WWII America)who team up to create a comic book hero called the Escapist and wind up having their fortunes rise and fall as well as sharing the love of the same woman. The development of the Escapist comic falls along similar lines to the history of Superman and other comics of the era(the storyline goes right up to the McCarthy hearings)and the descriptions of the comic's plots are the kind that Hollywood could only dream of capturing onscreen.

There is an actual Escapist comic put out by Chabon,which even if you haven't read the novel,you can still enjoy. Chabon also wrote Wonder Boys(which became a great movie with Micheal Douglas and Tobey Maguire)and contributed to the Spiderman 2 screenplay(he did a treatment for the first X-Men movie that was rejected but if you read it,they did use quite a few of his ideas,particularly regarding Wolverine). K&C is now being made into a film that hopefully we'll get to see soon and more importantly,does better at the box office and with critics than Beloved did when it hit the theaters.

My runners-up for Best Fiction would go a little something like this:

Empire Falls by Richard Russo-One of the best small town sagas ever written. Russo is great at making literary writing sound as easy as a conversation you just happen to be overhearing while waiting for the waitress to bring you your order. The HBO miniseries adaptation was very well done and a nice companion piece to the book.

Mammoth Cheese by Sheri Holman-Another small town story only a bit more grander in intent. The mammoth cheese of the title is made by a local single mom who arranges for it to be brought to the newly elected U.S. president(copying a similar offering made to Thomas Jefferson)to remind him of his campaign promise to help small farmers. The town,which recently had major publicity from the birth of 11 babies at one time to a poor family that ends tragically,rallies behind the cheese quest to stir up support for the community. This was a book that seemed to disappear from the major publishing world that truly deserves to be rediscovered and shared amongst readers.

Widow For One Year by John Irving-one of his best books around,period. I didn't see Door in the Floor(which is only adapted from half the book) but I own two copies of the book which is just as good,in my opinion. It's the kind of novel where sometimes you just want or need to reread one of your favorite passages from it because it rings so true in your memory.

I could go on and on but I'll give my fingers a rest and just list the rest of the best. Honorary mentions go out to the following:

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Nieffenegger

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund

The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint by Brady Udall

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

All Over Creation by Ruth Ozeki

The Crimson Petal and the White by Michael Faber

That's all I could come up with for now. Please feel free to list some of your own candidates for Best Fiction and even Worst Fiction;two of my picks for that dubious honor would be The Bridges of Madison County(one of the few times the movie was truly better than the book) and Violin by Anne Rice(just glad I didn't have to pay for a copy otherwise I'd be hounding Anne for a refund). Nice to have a book talk that didn't start with scandal and a Smoking Gun headline this year.

On the Shelf with Sara Gruen

Sara Gruen's wonderful new novel,Water For Elephants,is only her third book which is hard to believe since she writes like a seasoned pro at the top of her game. Her earlier novels dealt with the world of horse racing and her love of animals has lead her to add to her own family with three kids such companions as five cats,two goats and a horse and dog all within an environmental community north of Chicago.




She also donates to a number of animal charities that are listed at her website(linked in the title above)and she was kind enough to grant me this interview before embarking on her book tour,which will begin at next week's BEA where she'll be appearing at the Algonquin booth for signings. Here's what we said to each other:

1)What inspired you to write a story set in the world of 1930s traveling circues?

I was literally a day away from starting a completely different novel when I opened the newspaper and saw a fantastic panoramic photograph of a Depression-era circus. It was part of a feature article on the photographer Edward J. Kelty, who followed train circuses during the 1920s and 30s and whose custom-built camera was capable of producing negatives that were 12 x 24 inches. I couldn't tear my eyes away from
the picture, which was called "Congress of Freaks," and immediately ordered a book of his photographs. Shortly thereafter I ordered a second book of vintage circus photographs, these ones by the photographer Frederick W. Glasier. By the time I'd looked through them, there was no going back.






2)Was it your idea to add vintage photos to many of the chapters in Water For Elephants?

Yes! The book was inspired by a photograph, and because there are so many wonderful and evocative images, it was really important to me to include them. It was also fun to try to match up the pictures with the chapters so that they reflect the contents, and sometimes even contain foreshadowing. I spent months tracking down the owners of the pictures and securing the rights, but it was definitely worth it. They were a
part of my vision of this book.






3)You donate some of the proceeds from your writings to various animal charities-if you had to pick just one of them to recommend to a friend,which one would it be?


I really couldn't choose. Live & Let Live Farm, Proud Spirit Sanctuary,
and SARA Sanctuary are run by amazing individuals who really do
dedicate their lives to saving these animals. But the large rescues are also
responsible for many saved lives, and sometimes have a better network
for coordinating emergency efforts. That's why I support a mixture of
types. I'm afraid I make a bad Solomon!











4)On your website,there's a picture of a walk-in closet that you use as your writer's office. How did that come about?


The writing experience was really intense and because of the number of details I had to keep straight I felt like I always had sixteen balls in the air. I also had several long interruptions while writing "Water for Elephants", and after the final one I was having a really hard time getting back into it. I almost abandoned it, but my critique partner talked me out of it. That's when I had my husband move my desk into our walk-in closet, covered over the window, and wore noise-reduction headphones. I spent several months in that closet, and when I emerged with a finished book I was so exhausted I really had no idea whether it was any good at all.




5)Will there be a follow-up book to your earlier novels,Riding Lessons and Flying Changes?


There may well be. We're certainly talking about it.


6)What are some of your favorite books and/or films?

I live under a rock as far as movies go--we have three kids and we never quite seem to get around to hiring a babysitter, so the movies I see tend to be of the Chicken Little variety. As for books, I have very eclectic tastes: the ones I've read most recently are The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Sun Also Rises, Niagara Falls All Over Again, Bel Canto, Horse Heaven, Marley & Me, The Kite Runner, and I'm about to start Animals In Translation. I also just read a bound copy of an
amazing new novel that's coming out in February 2007. It's called FINN,
by Jon Clinch, and it's coming out with Random House. Watch for it--it's incredible.

7)If Water For Elephants were to be made into a movie,who would you like to play the leading characters?

Ah, see, if I saw more movies I'd have an answer for that! :-P

My thanks to Sara for this interview and if you'd like to see her on tour,just check her website for dates and places near you. If I was casting the movie version of Water For Elephants,my picks for the leads would be Alexis Beidel,Tobey Maguire and Paul Giamatti as August. Hopefully Hollywood will take a look at Sara's books and see the greatness that would work so well onscreen as it does on the page. Even if they don't,Water For Elephants should be on top on everyone's To Read List this summer and be noted as one of the best books of the year.

A flurry of season finales

May not only brings flowers but ushers out most of the current TV shows we've been enjoying all year and this week in particular,there's quite a few finales. Tonight's lineup has "Expanded" wrap-ups of My Name Is Earl and The Office,not to mention a damn exciting conclusion for Smallville as Brainiac threatens to destroy the world with a virus unless Clark releases General Zod(Kneel Before ZOD!!!!...sorry,had to say it). Lex is also getting some sort of uber bad upgrade and a taste of real power which,yes, will lead into a major Kent/Luthor showdown. If Superman Returns can't be as exciting as this,we're in for a long summer,folks.

Veronica Mars was,for once,not pre-empted so we got to see who really crashed the bus as well as the end of Aaron Echolls(ironic that the last thing AE saw in this life was himself on TV). Poor Beaver-Kyle Gallner is a damn fine actor who has seemed like a bit player but turns out to have been the Big Bad all along. I truly hope that next season(if the whole"CW? Done deal" bit was a tip of the hat to the fans),Dick Casablancas is around and having to deal with what happened with his brother. Dick's the dictionary defination of shallow and callow but even he has to take a reality check here. One of my favorite parts of the episode was Woody getting tasered while trying to sneak out the window(in his undies,which reminded me of Fargo).

My least favorite moment had to be Weevil's arrest-Lamb could've nabbed him as he walked off the stage with diploma in hand but nooooo! Oh,well,let's look forward to next time,shall we?

While some shows are ending rapidly,others are about to finish up slowly but surely. AI fans were suprised at Chris being the one to leave last night and not pleased with Seacrest's abrupt way of telling him. My only choice here is to root for Taylor,since both Elliot and Kat are so bland they make tapioca pudding seem spicy.

The Amazing Race is down to the Final Three: The Hippies(Yay!),The Frat Boys(boo!)and Rayo aka Ray & Yolanda(hey,they deserve a nickname!). The Hippies are a big favorite amongst fans and I was glad to see them get the Fast Forward(bug eating is a tough gig but would've been easier if they had drunk the water given to them). Next week is the two hour race to the finish line in a snowy climate which is cool in more ways than one(Phil in a parka,cute!)

Top Chef had their reunion show last night and the bleep button must have been pretty worn out with all the F-bombs and S-bombs lobbed about. Stephen's apology to Candice was so fake-his true nature was more on display when he got mad at Ken(who I wouldn't be surpised at if he waited in the parking lot to kick Stephen's snotty ass). Some people might think that Tiffani's being picked on for being "aggressive" but a bitch is a bitch,folks. Stephen also has the same bad attitude,which is why I don't like him either. Next week,it'll be down to a Final Two-I'm rooting for Harold,he's a real stand up guy. Oh,and I love the "I'm not your bitch,bitch!" shirts!

Finales are fun and hopefully lead to better times next year. It's also good to now have summer series to tide us over til the fall-Rescue Me will be starting up again at the end of the month and the 4400 should be back in June. Also,TNT will be showing a number of horror mini-movies based on Stephen King's Nightmares and Dreamscapes short story collection. Summertime and the TV watching is easy!

Everything old school is new again

While browsing thru the movie listings in my area,I was surpised to discover that at one of the larger mulitplexs,there's a Saturday morning showtime for "She-Ra:Princess of Power-The Secret of the Sword". Yep,She-Ra,twin sister of He-Man,aka Adora(my dad used to insist that the characters really should've been called He-Ra and She-Ma,in the true Egyptian style but such accuracy was too scary for children's TV programmers in those days). According to He-Man.org,this rerelease seems to tie in with the upcoming She-Ra DVD set this summer. It's kind of ironic that a TV show ment to sell toys was made into a movie to sell more toys and now that movie is being used to sell the DVDs. It's all some round robin sales pitch that never ends!




I'm not complaining,really;She-Ra was amusing for many reasons. One of the highlights were the female foes created to fight She-Ra such as Catra,with her magical Mardi Gra mask,Scorpia(whose name fully explains her character),Entrapa and Shadow Weaver who seemed to be the Evilyn to the head Big Bad,Hordak. You would think that the main villian would be female but perhaps someone just dug the name Hordak,not to mention he looks way cooler than Skeletor.

The plot of SOTS is your basic origin story:Prince Adam discovers the alternate version of his homeworld Eterna which is ,of course,Etheria where his lost lost twin sis is working as a Captain of the guards for Hordak and knows nothing about her true identity,thanks to a memory spell from Shadow Weaver. She is soon made aware of her destiny to hold a sword over her head and say magic words that put her in a skimpy outfit that makes Wonder Woman's look modest in comparison. It's entertaining enough to watch for awhile but I can't see that it's worth the price of a theater ticket to take the kids to on a weekend morn. Better to wait for the DVD,which does include the Secret of the Sword movie.




All this old school love for such campy kiddie fare as He-Man,She-Ra and Thundercats(I always dug Cheetara)is best appreciated on DVD. I admit to being tempted to buying the first TC set but it's just too darn goofy for my budget. What would be great is if Cartoon Network gave some screen time to some of these oldies-but-goodies on their scheldules but I suspect that's why they have Boomarang(which is not available to everyone,people!). What would you rather see with your kids,original He-Man or the Bratz cartoon? Just the Bratz name alone should settle the debate right there.

Attack of the Movie Tie-Ins

One of most amusing parts of summer movie hype are the tie-in products;you can usually tell how bad a film did at the box office by hitting a toy store around the end of August and checking out which movie related merchandise is now on sale in the bargain bin. This upcoming season,we'll be getting the likes of Superman,X-Men,a couple of kiddie flicks and yes,even the Da Vinci Code has an official board game(and several knock-offs)to tempt you into spending even more of your do-re-mi.

I shamelessly adore some of this stuff and even proudly display such items as my Van Helsing mini monster truck(hey,it was a present!)amongst my assortment of offbeat knick knacks. However,I do like to wonder about how low the tie-ins can go and in that spirit,here's a list of my Top Five What-If Movie Tie-Ins for '06


5)Poseidon Sink to the Bottom Playset:David Blaine may not want this under his Christmas tree but your youngsters should enjoy hours of fun with this easy to set up anywhere toy-just separate the two halves of the boat(keeping the plastic sidings on)and dunk into any body of water and watch the small figures slowly drown! Or,keep it together and look thru the see through bottom as the water fills up,knocking the pop up celebs around!


4)The Devil Wears Prada Talking Handbag: Just the thing for that Princess Diaries fangirl who wants to appear more grown-up! Every time you open the bag,listen to one of several vocal messages recorded by the film's stars. Hear Anne Hathaway say"I'll be right there" and Meryl Streep"Where's my latte?" or "I am NOT Anna Wintour!" Comes in your choice of colors-Bitchy Blood Red,Intern Green or Back in Black.

3)A Scanner Darkly Coloring Book: Now,you can make your very own version of this artsy new film at home! Just color in photos from the film with crayons,markers or whatever's rolling around in your kitchen drawer. Let the kids express their creativity by making the likes of Keanu Reeves,Winona Ryder and Woody Harrelson as multi-hued as the Power Rangers on an acid trip!

2)A Prairie Home Companion Survival Kit: Want credit for seeing an "adult" movie this summer but can't stand the overlapping dialogue of an Altman film(plus,the possible dullness of watching people perform endless radio monologues)? Well,then we have the perfect solution-just pick up this handy dandy kit to help you keep as awake or rested as you wish! Kit includes earplugs,small shoulder pillows,a bottle of No Doz and for an extra 79.95,you can also have an IPod mini to drown out the more confusing talky bits which make up most of the film!


1)Snakes on a Plane In A Can: A nifty combo of the classic gag item with the hot new internet film sensation-Samuel L. Jackson qoutes may or may not be included.

Don't be surpised if any of these suckers actually do turn up at a store or website near you-I didn't think I would see the day when there would be an oil painting of Tony"Scarface" Montana and the casts of The GodFather,Goodfellas and the Sopranos in a Last Supper scenario out for sale but it does exist and I have witnesses. One of the scariest things I've ever seen,ever.

Stan Lee's holding out for a hero

Just when you thought reality shows couldn't get any stranger,here comes "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" this summer on the Sci Fi Channel with Stan"The Man" Lee as host. 11 people will be chosen to compete for such honors as having their own comic book created by Stan Lee and getting their character to appear in a Sci Fi Channel movie. Granted,most movies on Sci Fi are of the Black Scorpion variety but it can't be any worse than Halle Berry's Catwoman,now can it?

You can also vote online for your favorite contestants-three of them are now being profiled with audition videos to help you decide(click title link above). The sound on Lemuria's video went out at one point but that might just be my computer. Yes,I did vote and despite loving the concept of Artemis,I had to go with Diamond Girl-that gal really sells her character!



This whole thing reminds me so much of Mystery Men,one of my big guilty pleasures. There was even an audition scene where folks like PMS Avenger("I only work five days a month-got a probelm with that?")and Pencilhead,with Son of PencilHead tried to team up with the likes of The Shoveler,Mr. Furious and the Blue Raja(who never wore anything blue,btw). The one they finally got was The Bowler(Janeane Garofolo,one of those comedians that Hollywood never quite figured out what to do with)
,who right away clashed with Mr. Furious(Ben Stiller,in his pre-Something About Mary days who was alot funnier back then than now,in my opinion). There's some damn funny dialogue in that movie such as "Well here I thought I was with a couple of real superheroes, the Shoveller and the Blue Raja! But really, it's Lazy Boy and... and... the recliner! Lazy Boy and the Recliner! " and"So what do you say? Do we all gather together, and go kick some Casanova butt? Or do I eat this sandwich?"





Superhero comedies can be tricky since it's too damn easy to parody-just compare the Adam West Batman show with Batman:The Animated Series and you'll see what I mean. We're due for another one this summer with My Super Ex-GirlFriend,starring Uma Thurman as Jenny aka G Girl,who does not take breaking up with boyfriend Luke Wilson well. This could be a decent flick,with Ivan Reitman(Ghostbusters)at the directing helm,plus having Rann Wilson and Eddie Izzard in the cast sounds good. However,it could turn out as hokey as John Ritter's Hero At Large or even worse,Meteor Man. Just hope they put out a trailer soon so we can get an idea of how MSEGF is(not that trailers are foolproof but hey,if you watch carefully,it can give you a heads-up).


Superhero satires can also be done right without making the characters too cardboard cutout like-The Incredibles works as an action film and as a family bonding story. Bonding with people is really at the core of what makes a superhero;it's no coincidence that most of the super powered icons of our culture are essentially outsiders who only want to be part of society but have to pull back from true intimacy due to their other life. Plenty of books have been written on this subject already(check out Men of Tommorrow by Gerard Jones or Mythology:The Work of Alex Ross)so I won't write a thesis here but it's hard to deny the allure of superheroes in American culture,despite the many snickers at comic book fans(some of whom are abit too die hard but what fan base doesn't have it's share of zealots?).

So,yes,many will watch "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" for laughs but there will be some in the audience who'll wish they were there. You gotta have a sense of humor about your fanlove otherwise,you will wind up getting into fistfights over who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Batman(my money's on Batman)and that's not good!

Water For Elephants:A Carnival of Delights

I've never read or heard of Sara Gruen before picking up her new novel,Water for Elephants but after finishing it last night,I'm going"Where have you been all my reading life?" The story hooks you right away;it begins with Jacob Jankowski,now in a retirement home where the biggest event for the residents is the arrival of a traveling circus. This brings back Jacob's memories of his days with the Benzini Bros circus during the years of the Great Depression. He was a veterinary student who walked away from his final exams after the tragic death of his parents and wound up joining the circus by just hopping on the right train at the right time.

Jacob's medical skills earn him a reluctant place amongst the crew of the Benzini Bros and come in handy when during their travels,a seemingly dull witted elephant named Rosie becomes part of the animal menegarie run by August,the circus' animal trainer who is your best friend one minute and your worst nightmare the next. August's turn-on-a-dime moods are usually overlooked not only by Uncle Al,the Ringling Bros wannabee that runs the show but by August's wife,Marlena. Marlena is the star horseback(and later elephant)performer whose love of animals draws her and Jacob into a close but dangerous relationship.

What's so wonderful about this book is the believable atmosphere Gruen creates for her characters,you can almost smell the popcorn and hear the roar of the crowds as you turn the pages. The time jumps from Jacob's past to the present and vice versa flow as easily as wind thru the trees. Another added bonus is the use of photos from the 1930s of circus life inserted into the beginnings of many of the chapters. I love it when an author can get to do this-it's like having a DVD special feature. The last book I recall that was just as well written with illustrations was Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund and Water for Elephants is just as top notch.

Gruen did a great deal of research about traveling circues of that time period and it really pays off with the rich details that enhance the story. She's also a marvel at creating such vivid characters as Kinko,a ill tempered clown forced to bunk with Jacob who winds up being one of his strongest allies and even Rosie herself,much smarter and more humane than some of the people around her. This is one book that you will hate yourself for missing out on,so be on the lookout for it at your local bookstore(check the title link for more details)or library near you.

I'll make a bold prediction that Water for Elephants will become the next reading group sensation-it's already the number one Booksense Pick for June(WFE will be released May 26)and I have no doubts that more good reviews from both readers and critics will be showered upon it. Most circues are known for glitz and greasepaint hiding shabby surfaces but in this case,there's nothing but the real deal here.

This week's pop culture follies

Paris,we hardly knew ye-the talented Miss Bennett has been booted from American Idol making Katherine McPhee the only female left in the running. I don't think she has what it takes to go to the Final Three(Chris aka Sideburns Stepdad,clearly does) but neither does Elliott,so it's pretty much a crapshoot here. Next week,the gang goes to Graceland to be coached by Tommy Mottola for Elvis Night. I hope Taylor picks Blue Suede Shoes as his song;it's perfect for his wild n' crazy guy dance moves.

In other reality elim news,The Hippies were nearly kicked off again on The Amazing Race(The Frat Boys were total jerks for canceling the other teams' cabs but then karma denied them a ride-maybe Earl Hickey should be an advisor on this show)and Tiffani the Terrible made it to the Top Chef Final Three. I wasn't crazy about Lee Ann(she could be snippy at times)but even Dave and Harold preferred to go with her rather Miss"I bring humility"-NOT!.


George Lucas has finally uncletched his claws and will release the original versions of the first three Star Wars movies on DVD this September. Perhaps he realized the errors of his ways or just needs more money to make that Ewoks prequel trilogy he's been dreaming of low these many moons. Also,Veronica Mars season 2 DVDs are set to be available this August;hopefully,we'll get to actually see the finale on the night it's supposed to aired. These pre-empts are damn urksome.

Coming to many theaters near you is Mission Impossible III-am I the only one who fears that if I went to see it,Scientologists would pop out from under the seats armed with e-meters chanting"Do you want a personality test? IT'S FREE!" That's almost scarier than having RV hit the top of the B.O. charts for two weeks in a row,almost.....

Also hitting the multiplex is Hoot,which is based on Carl Hiaason's novel for kids about three teens trying to save a nesting place for owls from land developers. Despite some early negative reviews so far(check Rotten Tomatoes for more),this should be a good movie to take kids to. For one thing,Hiaason's a damn fine writer and witty not preachy about his environmental beliefs in his stories. Also,it might be nice for kids to see a movie that doesn't have a Happy Meal attached to it.

I take my leave of you but do remember to tune in next time for another thrilling episode of As The Blog Turns.

Throwing Kaavya under the bus

Seems as if Kaavya Viswanathan is being escorted out the door by security-not only has her contract with Little,Brown been canceled with no plans to reprint a revised edition of Opal Mehta(now selling for as much as forty dollars on the collector's market)but the Bergen county newspaper where she interned at during 2003 and 2004 are now going to go over her previous articles for them to check for accuracy. All this comes on the heels of more findings of other works plundered for How Opal Mehta...such as Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella,Meg Cabot's Princess Diaries and Salman Rushdie's Haroun and the Sea of Stories.




What bothers me is how quickly everyone is to drag this girl to the town square for a ol' fashioned burning at the stake. Yes, she did wrong here and it's fit and proper of her publisher to cancel her contract. However,I don't hear anything from Little,Brown about how they're going to give a closer look at Alloy Entertainment which is just as responsible,in my opinion,seeing as how they own half of the copyright of the book and admitted to having"shaped" the first four chapters. I was afraid that Kaavya was going to be the scapegoat here and it looks like I was right.

Also,Kaavya's agent was the one who brought her to Alloy before bringing her book to any publisher and there's no comment from her or Alloy about what's going on now. All these borrowed passages from more than one author suggests to me a committee approach to putting this book together"Ok,we got some chick lit here,a bit of teen girl stuff and hey,can somebody get us something that makes this chapter sound more Indian?". No excuse for Kaavya to let this happen but she's not the only guilty party who should be held accountable here. A lot of people say this is James Frey fallout but his book is still on the shelves and people seemed satified enough after his public bitchslapping by Oprah to let him move on. Kaavya's only 19 and she's getting more public scrutiny than most elected officials do in a year.



Hopefully,this Kaavya hunt will end soon with those involved in pulling this patchworked wool over the eyes of readers all getting theirs. I also think it's sad that most of the book buzz this year seems to be all about scams and wrongdoings. It would be nice to talk about some good books getting the attention they deserve. Yes,I've joined in the heady mix of trash talk but am getting sick of this rolling in the muck and feel the need to hose myself off here. I feel the need...the need to read!(You know things are bad if I have to resort to qouting Tom Cruise movies).

A pair of pretty persuadable pieces of prose

Next to Pride and Prejudice,Jane Austen's final novel Persuasion has become a favorite template for modern authors to update and expand. I take a keen interest in such books since I was first introduced to Austen's works thru Persuasion(still one of my favorites-when I visited Lyme Regis with a group of JA fans,I did a reading of Louisa Musgrove's famous fall on the steps of the Cobb). One of the reasons that Persuasion is popular with the female friendly crowd is it's theme of recapturing a love given up long ago and getting the chance to fix a major mistake. Goodness knows that's something alot of us would leap at.


For your reading pleasure,we have two new takes on Jane's last stand;Jane Austen In Scarsdale by Paula Marantz Cohen and The Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz. Both are good entertaining stories,even if you've never read or seen a JA related film. They do,however,approach the Austen theme in very different ways.




Paula Marantz Cohen's Jane Austen in Scarsdale has a subtitle"Or Love,Death and the SATS" which well describes most of the novel's focus. Her heroine,Anne Ehrlich,is a guidance counselor at Fenimore High in Westchester and one of her most challenging duties is calming down the frenzied parents of hopefully well placed college bound students. She also has to cope with selling the family home due to her father's debts and the reappearance of Ben Cutler,a now successful travel writer who was once in love with Anne but she broke it off with him on the advice of her grandmother,Winnie(oddly enough,there's also a character named Winnie in The Family Fortune). Ben's nephew is spending his senior year at Fenimore and Ben wants to get him into Columbia(which is Anne's alma mater-Ben attended Queens College and worked at a travel agency which is how he and Anne first met).

Cohen also wrote Jane Austen in Boca(think Golden Girls meet P&P)and as in that book,her scope is not just on the connect-the-dots Austen plot points but a gentle satrical look at the community the characters are set in. Most of the best scenes in the novel have to do with meeting with parents who think that having their child diagnosed with ADD will give them a better shot(and more testing time)at college applications and students who are either scarily overprepared or underwhelmed at the prospects of life beyond high school. She does put in the recognizable Austen characters and expected moments but it's merely a loose outline rather than a boilerplate version. Nothing wrong with that-Cohen is a delightful writer with a sweet center and sharply tuned wit. Just don't expect a carbon copy,Jane Austen in Scarsdale is more of a "inspired by" type of literary homage.





The Family Fortune is abit more by-the-book than Jane Austen in Scarsdale but that doesn't make it a retrend into already familar turf. Rather,it's a lovely excursion into Austen country with some fun new looks along the way. Jane Fortune is our leading lady here,who runs a literary journal that also gives promising new writers a fellowship to give them a leg up on their careers. One of these fellowships lead Jane to Max Wellman,who is now a well respected author back in her life just as her family's debts force them to relocate. The Austen links are more secured by the appearance of Guy Callow(now that's a great name),an ex of Jane's snobby sister Miranda that keeps turning up like the proverbal bad penny.

One of the things I really liked about Family Fortune is how developed Jane's character is. She started up the Euphemia Review(named after her great-grandmother)out of a real love of literature and gets into a search for a writer named Jack Reilly who submitted a amazing short story to her but seems to have vanished. Jane evens contacts an old friend,Hope Bliss(another great name)who runs a detective agency to help find him. Jane's circle of friends certainly balance out her vilely selfish sister and father,not to mention family friend Priscilla,who was the one to talk Jane out of being with Max years ago. One of my favorite parts of this book is a cocktail party where sis Miranda is the "expert" at giving yet she makes the worst social errors towards her guests. I don't usually laugh out loud when reading but came pretty damn close to doing that here.

Jane Fortune is not just a stick figure Mary Sue;she's a giving person who has no clue about how special she is and it's touching at times to see her blossom,not just from reconnecting to Max but also for her other achievements. I believe this is Horowitz's first novel and it's one that makes me want to see more from her. There's a qoute from Edith Wharton(along with an Austen one)near the beginning of the book and the Wharton influence shows in her portrayal of the attitudes of high society and it's many follies. Top notch storytelling with a wink and nod at the classics.

Both titles are in hardcover and The Family Fortune should be available today(check title link for more details). Jane Austen in Scarsdale is already on the shelves and whichever one you find first,you won't be disappointed. Heck,if you can't decide,get both! With such lovely spring weather,a good way to enjoy it is
to take a good book outside and find the right spot to read and relax. Persuasion is all about renewal and spring is the best season for that.

MTV Movie Award nominees: hip or hype?

I have to admit that I usually love the MTV Movie Awards,mainly due to the mock serious way they celebrate film like catagories like Best Fight,Best Kiss and this year,Best Frightened Performance(which should go to anyone doing an interview with Tom Cruise at this point). They're also best known for having cool hosts,such as Chris Rock,Ben Stiller and Jack Black with Sarah Michelle Geller. Jessica Alba is this year's host which makes sense,given that she's in most of the nominated films and will draw in a huge male audience,many of whom will place bets on whether she'll be clad in her Sin City cowgirl stripper duds.

You can argue about the crass commericalism of it but then again,that's sort of the point here. True,the MTV movie awards started off as more of a joke,with great parodies(one of the best ones was the Carol & Greg Brady reenactment of Basic Instinct's classic interrogation scene)and tributes to such film greats as Chewbacca and Jason from the Friday the 13th series. Nowadays,it's abit more streamlined and studio friendly but still fun.



For one thing,some of these nominees are hard to choose from. In the Best Villian slot,we have Cillian Murphy,Ralph Finnes,Tilda Swinton,Tobin Bell and Hayden Christenson. Putting HC aside(he should be up for Best Wuss,IMO),the other four gave some pretty sweet onscreen performances. I caught up with the Chronicles of Narnia on DVD and Tilda was totally badass,especially in the battlefield scenes where she did this double sword action after her wand was destroyed. The woman could've given Beatrix Kiddo a run for her money,I swear! I wound up voting for Tobin Bell-he really makes the Saw films soar with his downplayed but electric antics.



Another good thing about the Movie Awards is the online voting;unlike other awards shows that pretend it's not a popularity contest,MTV doesn't shy away from that notion one little bit. They're not the most subtle of programmers after all,with shows like Yo Mamma,Pimp My Ride,My Super Sweet 16 and Date my Mom on their roster.





The Movie awards also highlight alot of movies that get ignored by the major honorariums but did deserve to be acknowledged-granted,some of the picks were Oscar contenders(Brokeback Mountain,Walk the Line)but up for Best Movie are the likes of Sin City,The 40 Year Old Virgin and Batman Begins,which recieved many positive reviews and big box office. Then again,Wedding Crashers and King Kong are up for that,too(I didn't see either one of them and will probaly not do so,unless I'm that bored out of my skull that the choices are down to:pound my head against the wall or see WC/KK). Atleast we know that if something like House of Wax or the Dukes of Hazzard get an award,it's due to overt fanboy rallying and not some pretenious notion about making a social statement-"Crash",anyone?




If you like them or you can lump'em,the MTV Movie awards show is usually somewhat entertaining and the acceptance speeches are actually worth listening to,so come this June,I'll be watching with a bowl of popcorn and some snark on the side. Hopefully,Steve Carell will be there(he's got several noms)because between this movie and The Office,I'm getting to be a devotee of his,not to mention that the ad slogan for 40 YOV"Better late than never" certainly applies here.

How Opal Mehta's Scandal Got Concluded

Today,Little,Brown announced that they were issuing a recall of the controversal Kaavya Viswanathan novel,How Opal Mehta Got Kissed,Got Wild and Got a Life. The book is no longer in production and booksellers are being asked to send back unsold copies to the publisher. Both Crown and Megan McCafferty are pleased with this and are no longer talking lawsuit. Megan was also qouted as saying that"The past few weeks have been very difficult, and I am most grateful to my readers for offering continual support," she said. "In my career, I am, first and foremost, a writer. So I look forward to getting back to work and moving on, and hope Ms. Viswanathan can too."

This seems like a happy ending of sorts-McCafferty gets justice(and was very gracious about it,in my opinion)and Kaavya has a chance to start over without getting bitchslapped in court. Of course,the real story is the behind the scenes stuff. There's been quite abit of talk about Alloy Entertainment's role in this deal. Alloy is what they call a "book packager"-they shape and market titles to the teen audience such as The A-List,It Girl,etc. Alloy was bought into the mix early on by Kaavya's William Morris agent and interestingly enough,Alloy owns half of the copyright to Opal Mehta. There's denial all around about the possibility that maybe Opal Mehta might've been creatively monkeyed around with, but something smells fishy to me.

Even if some backhanded re-tooling was done to the book,it doesn't let Kaavya off the hook-as I've said before,I'm not ready to run her out of town on a rail here but she is old enough to know that plagarism is wrong and that some things need more than an "I'm sorry" to make it right. Book packaging is nothing new in the industry but what bugs me is that part of the probelm is lack of respect for the reader. It's really not hard to image a publishing person saying to a reluctant client"Look,these kids aren't Rhodes scholars here,okay? You really think they can tell one book from another-look at MTV,all those bands look,sound and act the same. That's what they like,that's what they're comfortable with and that's what they will buy. Giving people what they want is the name of the game and if you want to do well in this business and actually make some money,you'll see that I'm right."

There are plenty of authors writing books for teens that don't intend to be some disposable trendy object to be tossed out once the hot new item hits the market. There's nothing wrong with entertaining literature but there is something wrong about assuming that it truly represents the mind set of any audience. Marketing is a neccessary evil in publishing but the industry should use it as a means to an end,not as the end itself. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a better look at what you're selling instead of just how to sell it. Hopefully,that will be the real lesson learned from this bit of shenanagans.

Another Thursday round-up

Ok,as the week draws to a close,let us reflect upon the good,the bad and the WTF? that hopefully we all share. The reviews for Lestat on Broadway have been as mercifull as Simon Cowell's been to everyone on AI this season. You know your play's in trouble when the NY Times says it's the best sleeping pill since Ambien came on the market. Also,there was a write-up that called the lyrics"demented diary entries of a Goth teenager"(maybe Bernie Taupin likes to hang out at MySpace,who knows?). Despite this reception,plans are under way to put musical versions of High Fidelity and Legally Blonde on the boards sometime next year. This madness must end-read my lips,Broadway people,not every movie can or should be a damn musical! Whatever happened to producing original material? Sure,Hollywood cranks out remakes and movies based on video games and Tv shows but those guys have such things as DVD sales and cable/network broadcasting rights to fall back on. It's no excuse but it makes a hell of a lot more sense than making a Lord of the Rings musical!


TV has been tricky this week:Veronica Mars has once again been pre-empted on the East Coast for basketball but the episode will not be replayed until the weekend. Apparently,two hours of America's Next Top Model(one hour of which was a clip show!)is more vital to UPN than actually supporting an intelligent and witty show. Tyra Banks must be spreading the love over there,somehow. Stay strong,Mars fans!

American Idol has finally give Kellie Pickler her walking papers(after that horrible rendition of UnChained Melody,even Pick The Worst couldn't save her) and next week,we have double theme night. The contestants have to do a song From The Year You Were Born and Current Top 40 Hit. Paula's crying jag over Elliot's song has convinced me that she's mixing pills with her booze(come on,you really think there's Coca-Cola in her onstage cup?). I'm not sure who will be the winner but I don't want to see Paris in the Bottom Two again-the girl is way too talented to be last place!

On the Amazing Race,Fran & Barry(the token older couple)took their leave and things are heating up between the Hippies and Team MoJo. Joseph and Monica seem like such spoiled brats so I'm all about the Hippies. Top Chef finally knocked Snooty Stephen out of the running(should've helped out more in the kitchen there,buddy!) and next week,it'll be down to three. Things always get interesting when it gets down to the wire and with May,the major Sweeps month looming over the horizon,we should have some fireworks.

Oh,and South Park's riff on Al Gore was so realistic that it was almost scary. "I'm being serial!" sounds like a hot new catchphrase to me. For a moment there,it looked like the show was going to parody The Village(a vastly underrated movie,in my opinion) with the whole "Manbearpig" bit but it zigged instead of zagged. Fine with me,Cartman crapping out treasure was totally worth it.


On the movie front,most of the reviews for United 93 have been positive-Rotten Tomatoes so far has only found three that were not. I'm not surpised,this is the kind of movie that many people may be hesistant about giving any thing but praise to. It may be a well done film but it's the subject matter and how people will feel about seeing it that will determine it's financial success.

I was hoping to catch Hard Candy this weekend but sadly,it's not going to be playing near me,even tho it opens up tommorrow in more theaters. Just as well, I recieved the fourth volume of Batman:the animated series for my birthday and there are plenty of episodes that I didn't see. The only complaint I have about the B:TAS sets are the lack of episode synopsis. Every DVD set that I've bought of a TV show has plot descriptions of the shows in a booklet or printed on the box somewhere. Batman and Superman don't tell you jack about the episodes,just the titles. True,you can guess what villian is featured by the title sometimes but why not help a fangirl out? Not asking for an essay here,just a couple of sentences will do it.

I also got a couple of books as b-day gifts;Geraldine Brooks' March(which looked like someone was trying to hide the last two copies on the display table. There were two different paperbacks covering up March-good thing I checked the spines) and Jane Austen in Scarsdale by Paula Marentz Cohen. Cohen also wrote Jane Austen in Boca(think Golden Girls doing a production of P&P) and Much Ado About Jesse Kaplan. Her new Austen tribute uses the plotline of Persuasion(which is the most popular JA novel to modernize,after P&P) and there's another novel coming out with the same theme in early May. It's called Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz and I may do a doubled up review of the two. This doesn't look like a Kaavya situation here(the storylines are very different,despite the JA tone),thank goodness.

On a final note,anyone else find this exchange of dialogue in the commercials for "Stick It" to be strange? Bad enough this movie has such a vulgar sounding porn title but these lines are odd to my ears:
Girl(to boy outside):"Call me!"
Boy:"Stalk you!"

What the....? I'm sorry but if some guy said that to me,his head would be spinning from the smack I'd give him across the face. Must be getting old. Then again,it's not like I'm the target audience here. I'm grateful for that!

How Opal Mehta got caught,got in trouble and got herself in hot water

There's been quite a little literary scandal brewing this week;Kaavya Viswanathan,author of How Opal Metha Got Kissed,Got Wild and Got a Life,has been accused of plagarising passages from Megan McCafferty's novels,Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings. Viswanathan's a student at Harvard and it was the Harvard Crimson that first broke the story which has been taken up by Galleycat and the rest of the media. Even Publisher's Weekly had this whole mess as the topic of their website's Talkback Tuesday. Kaavya has since come forth and apologized(there were denials in the beginning) and her publisher has promised to put an acknowledgement to McCafferty in future editions of the book.

However,McCafferty and her publisher are not happy with that and may actually pursue this matter further. I can't blame them-I read a list of the compared passages listed by the Harvard Crimson(linked in the title above for your perusal)and they really are too close for comfort. It's like reading a book report where you know the kid didn't even try to read the assignment and just reworded the description on the book jacket or cribbed from Cliff Notes. The number of stolen lines has gone up from 13 to 45(The Crimson only found 13 to start with) and with McCafferty having a new book out,I think that Ms. Viswanathan may want to invest in getting a good lawyer.

A number of the folks at the PW Talkback either want to hang her out to dry or cut Kaavya a break due to her being young and unexperienced. I'm sort of in the middle here-I'm not buying her claims of being"unconscious" in these acts of scholarly shoplifting. I've been a reader all my life and unless you go into some hypnotic trance that allows you to memorize whole sections of a book and be able to rewrite them to suit your needs,this is baloney worthy of Oscar Meyer. Not to mention that she first said"I don't know what you're talking about." one day and the next,it's all
"I just hope she believes I would never, ever intentionally lift her words,... "The last thing I ever wanted to do was upset her." Nice performance,hon.

Someone at the Talkback suggested that people miffed at this are just jealous of her being a well-to-do young lady at Harvard who struck it rich with a juicy book deal. Maybe so but that doesn't excuse her-if you're smart enough to attend Harvard,you should be mature enough to know when you've done wrong and pay the piper. I wouldn't send her to the gulag but her publisher also shares some responsibility here. Granted,McCafferty's works as not as well known as say,Stephen King and it's impossible to have read every current book in any genre but something tells me this could have been nipped in the bud before Opal Mehta even got to the galley stage.

Hopefully,the two publishers in question(Little,Brown & Crown)can settle this hash without having another DaVinci Code style courtroom battle. One advantage to both parties in that lawsuit was having it tried in England. Taking a case like this to American courts could really hinder Ms. Viswanathan's future rep and credibility. She should be held responsible but I have no burning desire to see her crushed like a bug,unless she and her publisher get arrogant and foolish. Make the proper amends here,Kaavya-don't just do press junkets saying how sorry you are. Go to Megan and eat some humble pie. She's more than entitled to have you give her a personal apology.

Sales of both Opal Mehta and McCafferty's books should increase with all this publicity but does the reader really benefit here? I'd like to be able to pick a popular title based on its' own merits,not just due to the notorious press swirling about it. Almost makes you want to say"Aw,the hell with this-what's on TV tonight?"

Having a Pop Culture Birthday

Today is my birthday(no punches,please)and I thought it would be cool to go over some of my favorite birthday moments in books,Tv and film. I've known for years that I share my b-day with Al Pacino but it turns out that Jason Lee and Renee Zellweger are also entitled to their fair share of cake and presents today as well. Nice,since Renee rocks and even tho Jason Lee named his kid Pilot Inspecktor(no misspelling here,sad to say),he's still aces in my book. So,let's get this party started,right!

Movies: Many of my generation look to Sixteen Candles as their big John Hughes fix but frankly,I find it to be rather overrated. Yeah,sure,Samantha gets ignored at first but she winds up with her dream guy,who of course was into her all along. Make me gag!

I'm more of a Breakfast Club girl-good mix of stock teen characters,plus Judd Nelson was harsh(gotta agree with Jay and Silent Bob on that one). Also,is it just me or did Molly Ringwald pretty much played high maintence chicks in all those '80's teen movies?




Anyway,it's scary what comes to mind sometimes-the first movie birthday thought that popped into my head was the poster from Happy Birthday To Me,a horror flick with Melissa Sue Anderson(Mary,the older sister who went blind on Little House on the Prairie) trying to break out of her good girl image. She did a much better job of that in a made for tv movie about witches called Midnight Offerings. Back to the HBTM poster,it's quite memorable-not too often you see a guy take shish kebob the hard way. I did actually see the movie on cable a couple of years after it's release and the ending is rather cheerful,if you have a sick sense of humor. Ah,the early '80s!

For a more pleasant birthday bash,one of my favorites is Bridget Jones' feast of "blue soup,omelette and marmalade" that wins her a toast from her friends(and Mark Darcy,aka the gorgeous Colin Firth) who"love her just as she is." Now,those are true blue buddies,in my opinion. Also,the festivities end with two men fighting over the birthday girl and how can a lady resist that?

TV: Buffy the Vampire Slayer tended to have rather risky birthdays-if she wasn't losing her virginity to her vampire lover which turned him evil,she had to deal with her kid sister's coping with the fact that she wasn't Buffy's sister or even human to begin with. Even Spike at one point asked her"Even consider not celebrating your birthday?" Man had a good reason to bring that up,since they and the rest of the Scoobies were trapped together with a wall hiding killer demon. Let the good times roll!

Even Cordelia Chase got wacked with the birthday whammy in Season 3 of Angel when she awoke from her mind shattering vision coma with shiny new demon powers. One of the highlights of that episode was seeing the sitcom that could've been "Cordy!". On the DVD set,you can see some extra scenes that were filmed for that bit of alternate reality-worth checking out,I swear!

South Park's had some birthday fun as well-the episode where Cartman tricks Butters into hiding out for a week in an elaborate scheme to join Kyle on his birthday trip to Casa Bonita(which is a real place,believe it or not!)is rather outstanding. But,if I'm choosing an animated show with a b-day theme,that honor goes to Batman:the Animated series for Be A Clown. It's a Joker episode,of course,and Mark Hamill has such great lines as " They don't make straightjackets like they used to. I should know."and " It's a candle Einstein, except this one blows you out." Love that Joker!

Books: Harry Potter and Buffy both have birthday war stories to swap-his are abit more on the positive side but still,... One of my all time favorite booklover's book and film is 84 Charing Cross Road. For those who don't know,it's a collection of letters between Helene Hanff,a New York writer for theater and Tv in the fifties who had a love of English Lit and the staff of a used and rare bookshop in London,mainly Frank Doel,one of the managers. Helene and Frank became overseas pen pals who never got the chance to meet up-Frank died before Helene ever got the chance to go to England. This sounds like a love story but it's only the love of books that they shared(Frank was married,with kids and his widow became good friends with Helene).

One year,the staff of Marks and Co. sent Helene a book of Elizabethan poets as a gift-she had been sending them care packages of food,since at the time,Britain was still recovering from WWII and rationing was the order of the day. Helene's thank you to them suits the occasion:

April 16, 1951

To All at 84,Charing Cross Road:

Thank you for the beautiful book. I've never owned a book before with the pages edged all round in gold. Would you believed it arrived on my birthday?

I wish you hadn't been so over-courteous about putting the inscription on a card instead of on the flyleaf. It's the bookseller coming out in you all,you were afraid you'd decrease its value. You would have increased it for the present owner.(And possibly,for the future owner. I love inscriptions on flyleaves and notes in margins,I like the comradely sense of turning pages someone else turned and reading passages some one long gone has called my attention to.)

And why didn't you sign your names? I expect Frank wouldn't let you,he probaly doesn't want me writing love letters to anyone but him.

I send you greetings from America-faithless friend that she is,pouring millions into rebuilding Japan and Germany while letting England starve. Some day,God willing,I'll get over there and apologize personally for my country's sins(and by the time i come home,my country will certainly have to apologize for mine).

Thank you again for the beautiful book. I shall try very hard not to get gin and ashes all over it,it's really much too fine for the likes of me.

Yours,Helene Hanff

If you have not read 84 or seen the movie(nicely done and starring Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins),by all means do so at once! I must be off,to start making merry and getting some goodies. One treat tonight will be American Idol's Love Songs night(oh boy,oh boy-should be some ear bleeding for certain)and a spanking new Veronica Mars. What more could a girl ask for that's inexpensive and not illegal?

Lestat On Broadway:will it suck more than blood?

This week,Lestat the musical opens on Broadway and if advance word is to be believed,this show could sink faster than the Titanic. The plot combines the first two of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles(Interview with the Vampire and The Vampire Lestat) which means,yes Virginia,we get to see Claudia sing"I Want More" and then later,turn into a crispy fry in the sun. Not sure what kind of dance number that'll be that won't make the audience bust out laughing there.




Also,Lestat sings a song entitled"Sail Me Away" as he is perched on a ship's helm. Look,I read the books and know that there's quite alot of boat travel but how do you expect me to buy that Lestat would give a big coming to America number,Yentl style? Other song titles include"Crimson Kiss","Make Me As You Are" and "The Thirst". Yep,a bunch of toe tapping tunes to hum all the way home!






One of the major probelms here is that it's hard to mix horror and music together without adding some whimsey to even things out. Would you really be scared of a vampire coming towards you in the dark,singing and dancing as he did so? It doesn't have to be as campy as say,a Little Shop of Horrors or a Rocky Horror Picture show,but it can be done. Just look at what Joss Whedon accomplished in the "Once More,With Feeling" episode of Buffy. One of his inspirations was the Brian DePalma cult classic,Phantom of the Paradise,which still holds up well today.



Part of the success of POTP is Paul Williams,who not only wrote all the music and songs but starred as the main villian,Swan. Williams has a delightfully dark edge in his work which the likes of Elton John don't match up. Elton John and Bernie Taupin work well together,no questions about that,but that's fine if you need a songwriting team for a Disney animated singalong not a uberGoth vampire series. Anne Rice has given her approval to this project(she's in the promotional photos,anyway)which means that they'll be taking her words as seriously as she does. Have we not learned from such mistakes as Carrie:The Musical,Dance of the Vampires and letting Sebastian Bach star in Jekyll & Hyde?





I haven't seen many Broadway shows(did catch "Cats" twice)and wouldn't mind seeing this sucker just for the hell of it. However,those ticket prices are abit too rich for my blood so I would probaly be better off renting Queen of the Damned for some laughs or just watching Once Bitten again. Lauren Hutton may look goofy biting off Jim Carrey's buttons but atleast she doesn't sing while doing it.

What's your favorite book on film?

Over in jolly old England,The Evening Standard has put out a list of the best adaptations of books to film It's a list of about fifty titles,with such obviously good choices such as The Godfather,Pride & Prejudice,One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Remains of the Day. This is not a stuffed shirt selection;other picks include Fight Club,Sin City,American Psycho and Trainspotting. Of course,this is a Brit list so some of the films/books mentioned might not be familar to most folk(I'm a big English Lit gal and even I've never heard of A Kestral For A Knave. Sounds like a good title,tho).


This is a pretty good line up but I would like to submit the following for your approval to be considered as very good cinematic versions of books:

The Accidental Tourist:Anne Tyler is not one of your big drama queens-her stories are small but succinct slices of ordinary people in the day to day lives who decide to wake up and look about at where they are in the world. Hard to get that across onscreen without boring your audience. Fortunately,Lawrence Kasdan and William Hurt chose to team up again(they had worked well together in Body Heat) to put Tyler's novel on film and with a great supporting cast,plus a great script(co-written by Kasdan) made the story sing. It's also notable as the movie that gave Geena Davis a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for playing Muriel,the wacky dog trainer who falls in love with Hurt. A really sweet movie-worth seeing if you haven't already done so.

Cold Comfort Farm: I'm surpised this didn't make the list,given that it's based on a classic English novel featuring one of most eccentric literary families, the Starkadders whose most interesting member is Aunt Ada,who keeps to her room and refuses to let anyone stray from the homestead and whose reply to anything objectionable is"I saw something nasty in the woodshed!" Kate Beckinsale starred in the 1995 film version as Flora,the young low on cash but rich in good natured probelm solving socialite who comes to Cold Comfort to improve the Starkadders' lives and gain some life experience for her future writing career along the way. Ian McKellan is also in the movie and one of my favorite lines is said by his character,a rather zealous preacher type who warns his congregation that "there's no butter in hell!"
So damn funny,if you love english humor,you must see this!


Master And Commander,The Far Side of the World:This is actually a combo of two of Patrick O'Brian's novels in his Aubrey/Mautrin series(hence the really long title). When I saw it in theaters,it felt to me like the first time I had a reading experience in a group setting. The film is what I would image it to be like if one could just walk into the pages of a book and live in that world. Chris Rock was right about Russell Crowe: if you can't get him for a period drama,wait! I wasn't the only one who had that feeling-the whole audience was drawn in and even clapped at the end.

I must confess that I haven't read the O'Brian books(did treat myself to the boxed 5 volume hardcover set a couple of Christmases ago)but will do so,mainly to appreciate this film more and to hope for other adaptations just as well done.

I could go on and on but ,as Judge Judy says,I have other fish to fry today. So,don't be shy-let me know what's your favorite book made into a film and what books would or wouldn't be good movies. Enquiring minds want to know!

Everybody's watching for the weekend

So,as another week draws to a close,what can we look to for entertainment until Monday? It's too late to play Guess The Wacky Celebrity Baby Game: with the arrival of Suri Cruise and Grier Shields(quite a coincidence,those two kids being born around the same time-perhaps one of them is destined to face the other in mortal combat or atleast play the latest XBox version of Mortal Combat together within the next decade),you know that David Spade has plenty of material for his ShowBiz Show tonight!

Books: The Pulitzer Prizes were announced this week and the fiction prize went to Geraldine Brooks for March. March follows the wartime service of the father of Meg,Jo,Amy and Beth from Little Women and is considered a literary sequel of sorts. Brooks is well known for her first historical fiction novel,Year of Wonders,about a town struggling thru The Black Death. I wish I had kept a ARC of March that I borrowed last year-wound up returning it unread*hangs head in shame*.

Oh,well-gives me an excuse to buy the book now,doesn't it? I know I won't be alone there,winning a major award is as good as Oprah approval when it comes to book sales. Congrats and kudos to Ms. Brooks and to those of you sniping about how Doctorow should have been the "real" winner,please take your sour grapes with you when you go out back to Gripers' Field for the pity party,okay?


Movies: Silent Hill and American Dreamz open up this week and the one that could topple Scary Movie 4 off the charts is Silent Hill. There are no "official" reviews yet but that movie looks damn disturbing and the fact that folks seem to enjoy drawing mouths on the lipless little girl in the posters tells me that there's a buzz going on. American Dreamz(that "z replaces s" thing is annoying and played out)might be good but looks pretty cheesy and obvious in it's humor.


TV: Thankfully,Veronica Mars was replayed this week(got kicked out of it's new Tuesday timeslot this week due to basketball-isn't stuff like this the reason that ESPN exists?) and I find it hard to believe that the whole bus crash mystery will be conclude in just three episodes. So many suspects to choose from and plenty of red herrings piling up all over Neptune. My money's still on Mayor Woody being involved here-they wouldn't waste a former '80s film star like Gutenberg in a go-nowhere part. Also,is it just me or was Butters quite the bold one for asking Mac if he needed to get them a hotel room for after the prom? This is particularly their first date,for goodness sakes! I'ld rather see Mac back with Beaver but something tells me those Casablancas boys are heading for deep trouble.

South Park's take on the James Frey/Oprah scandal was strange,to say the least. It seemed more like a insider joke than a real riff on the whole mess. Afraid to think about it anymore,so let's move on,shall we?

HBO will be airing part one of Elizabeth I,starring Helen Mirren and Jeremy Irons, on Saturday with the conclusion being shown on Monday night(guess they don't want to mess with their Sunday night block of Sopranos/Big Love). Helen Mirren has always been cool in my book ever since her role as Morgana in Excalibur-so damn evil,sexy and mega Brit. The EI website(linked in the title above) is interesting,with loads of behind the scenes stuff and a matchmaking game that shows you all of the Virgin Queen's many suitors and why or why not they were rejected. All of us Anglophiles will be cosying up to this miniseries and pre-ordering the DVDs by Tuesday,mark my words.


That's all for now-I'll keep it in touch so you'll be in touch.

My Top Five Tasty Men on TV

Recently,Dionne Galace(formerly of It's Not Porn and It's Not Chick Porn,now safely merged into dionnegalace.com)has declared her love of all things Nathan Fillion. I can relate-one of the reasons I went to see Slither was to check him out. I wasn't a big Firefly fan but after watching Serenity,mmm....hello,salty goodness!

I did first see Fillion on season 7 of Buffy as Caleb,the literal lady killer priest allied with the First Evil(and what a breath of fresh air he was,after quite a few SMG lectures and that horrid all Andrew episode that I even refuse to rewatch on my DVD set,ever!). Since he's no longer on TV,alas I can not add him to this list of fine lookin' fellas who grace my small screen with their prescence but there are plenty to choose from,believe you me.






1) Michael Rosenbaum(Lex Luthor,Smallville): Yes, I like my bad boys to be very bad and Superman's Number one nemesis is tops in my book. Not alot of guys can look good being completely bald but Michael certainly can! Also,his acting style is one of the strong points of the show-he works so well with the other actors and makes even the hokey plotlines seem plausible. He's also one of the reasons I really would love to see a bigscreen Smallville movie.






2)John Glover(Lionel Luthor,Smallville):Many of his fans called his character "Magnificent Bastard" and,boy does Lionel live up to that! Whether he's faking blindness to lay a guilt trip on his son,hiring hitmen to eliminate Chloe before she can get him charged with murder or most recently,macking on the Widow Kent,Lionel has such smooth sinister style that it's hard not to root for him,just a little! I also dug him on the short lived Fox series Brimstone,where he played Satan-a part that fit him like a glove(no pun intended,I swear!).







3)Julian McMahon(Dr. Christian Troy,Nip/Tuck): I know most of you discovered him first on Charmed but since that show is about to go off the air(finally)and is damn lame to boot,let's just focus on Julian's Rhett Butler-ish persona on Nip/Tuck. Yes,you heard me-Rhett Butler. Rhett and Christian have many things in common: being in love with women who are unavailable due to marriage,speaking their minds bluntly and looking sharp in suits. Also,acting nobly when least expected-a guranteed way to make the ladies melt with forgiving lust.






4)James Marsters(Milton Fine aka Brainiac,Smallville):Even without his sweet Spikey blonde locks.Marsters is still easy on the eyes and melts in your mouth like a bag of M&MS(I used melt again in a sentence,please forgive me-I'm a shameless fangirl). If there's ever a scene on the upcoming episodes of Smallville that has JM,MR and John Glover all in the same room at once,I may need an oxygen tank!





5)Scott Patterson(Luke Danes,Gilmore Girls): With all these evildoers,I had to throw in one nice but not wimpy man into the mix and that niche rightly goes to the long suffering Town Grumpy Gump with Soul,Luke Danes. I know his character's had a major change of pace this season,with the long lost daughter plot mucking up the waters of Stars Hollow but since I'm not watching the current season(still catching up on ABC Family),my judgement is on hold at the moment. Besides,Luke's entitled to have some circumstances that have to be adjusted to,with all the crap he's taken from Lorelai's parents and Christopher,not to mention Lorelai herself with her ultra needy control issues(sometimes,she gets alittle too Emily there).

Okay,I've indulged my giddy girlishness here. Hope some of you enjoy it and to the rest,be glad I didn't post any the hot nakked pics that would so embarrass you at work. Just doing my part to make your workday a little less stress free.

Top Chef vs. Celebrity Cooking: sweet or sour viewing?

I'm not a foodie but do enjoy a good meal(or a half way decent snack)and can enjoy a McDonalds' menu as well as a Applebees. Any gourmets reading that statement are probaly rolling their eyes at my plebian tastes but I wonder if they would agree me with about the latest competitive cooking shows on Bravo. Top Chef is only on Bravo but NBC's Celebrity Cooking Showdown is replayed on Bravo and even advertised at the Top Chef website(which is linked above for your perusal). Celebrity Cooking Showdown is a one week event,which has various(and dubious)celebs racing to prepare three course meals in fifty minutes in front of a screaming audience and Alan Thicke who gives blow by blow commentary like it's the Qourmet Special Olympics.

The celebs are mentored by three chefs-the best known one is Wolfgang Puck. The judges are Colin Cowie and Gael Greene,who dresses like Phyllis Diller on a acid trip. The thing that bugs me about this show is that I can't find out what the winner gets at the end of the whole thing-is there a trophy or something given to charity? What gives? Also,I called some of the celebs dubious because I have no clue who the hell they are-Patti La Belle and Tom Arnold I know and have heard of Cindy Margolis and Gabrielle Reese but Ashley Parker Angel? That name makes him sound like an evil male doppelganger to one of the Olsen twins.

I may watch some more of this wackiness but for really tasty viewing,it's all about Top Chef. I've been catching it over the weekends and am truly invested in seeing either Miquel or Harold win. Stephen and Tiffani are my least favorites-the two of them are too damn snooty. I enjoy some of the challenges the contestants have been given such as making a meal using only items bought at a gas station convience store,creating microwavable dinners with style for working moms and serving up monkfish to kids. Pretty interesting and down to earth stuff. The judges can be pretty tough on them,especially Tom(who looks quite capable of kicking some ass).

Some of the chefs don't know why they get what they consider dime store duty*cough*Stephen & Tiffani*cough* but a great chef should be able to prepare excellant food no matter where they are or what's on hand. The tension is really heating up now,with most of the even tempered folk in the group being eliminated such as Andrea,the health advocate(too crunchy granola,plus in my opinion,healthy is nice but flavor is king,baby. You catch more flies with honey) and Lisa,the mom(Lisa was a real sweetie,too bad she had to go).

So,for your dining pleasure,may I suggest a generous serving of Top Chef with your meal and if you must satisfy your craving for primetime turkey,a small portion of Celebrity Cooking Showdown is recommended but be sure to keep some antiacids on hand.