TC Masters serve up some strange surf and turf,Movie Night on Idol and TAR's winners' circle has a square-off

The Quickfire Challenge for Top Chef Masters this week was to create a dish based on a character from The Simpsons. Judging the meals were three members of the show's behind the scenes team;producer Matt Selman,creator Matt Groening and voice over actor Hank Azaria.



The goofiest looking dish came from Susur Lee,who has no familiarity with the show and decided to make a portrait of Marge Simpson with food.

Her hair was purple potatoes and her face was a pork chop coated in a mustard sauce with glazed grapes forming her always on necklace(the pretzels as ears was the weirdest bit,to me). Apparently the dish tasted good but not enough to win here.



Rick Moonen won this round,with his Homer inspired shrimp sloppy "D'oh!" sandwich with truffle chips and a glass of beer. As Matt Groening and Hank Azaria pointed out,it is the kind of food that Homer would gobble up and enjoy but get annoyed if someone told him what was in it afterward. Rick received five grand for his charity Three Square and first choice of proteins in the Elimination challenge.



The challenge was to cook a surf and turf plate using exotic proteins such as geoduck(a clam with an extremely long neck),sea cucumber,duck tongues and kangaroo. Rick chose black chicken and monkfish liver,turning that into a poached chicken mousse and roulade with the liver being a touchon served with buttered leeks.



Susur Lee went with the same meats,making a poached monkfish liver with black chicken veloute. This gave the panel of diners,headed up by Andrew Zimerin,the host of Bizarre Foods,a compare and contrast with the flavors. It was pretty close there in the scoring but Susur wound up taking the win in the end,mainly due to the full robustness of his plate over the savory subtlety of Rick's.



Languishing on the bottom was Jonathan Waxman,who had the last pick of the proteins and had duck tongues and giant squid to work with. He had no enthusiasm for this challenge and even tho the fried duck tongues were delicious,the rest of the plate was a mess. Frankly,it looked like a heap of leftovers that someone dumped in the trash after cleaning out their fridge. As one of the judges pointed out,this was just Jonathan on a bad day,so better luck next time.



Packing her knives and heading for home was Jody Adams,for her spiced roast goat that came out way too raw. Her geoduck and chickpea chowder was tasty and much praise was given to her homemade harissa but that goat did her in here,big time.

Next week,the chefs go tailgating,which should be fun for some more than others. I'm not a sports gal but hey,go team!



Congratulations are in order for Dan and Jordan,this season's winners of The Amazing Racedespite the fact that the brothers chose the last leg to pull some sneaky tactics. The line cutting at the airport ticket counter was bad enough(Sorry,guys but when someone has been waiting for several hours already,dropping your backpack on the floor space ahead of them is poor manners)but getting the stewardess to move them up to First Class during the flight was downright devious.

Yes,it was barely within the limits of the rules(teams have to fly coach or at least buy coach tickets)but this was not a case of the airline having to move them up to make room for others,it was a less than original stunt to get off the plane before anyone else. Oh,well,the Cowboys did get a little payback with Cord's humorous attempts to confuse Dan during the Star Wars themed VR challenge.



What really left a bitter taste in my mouth was Brandy's behavior at the Final Pit Stop towards Caite,who came in third with Brent. Caite was about to offer up an apology to Carol and Brandy(who were still peeved about that U Turn)and Brandy cut her off,refusing any gestures of goodwill and calling Caite stupid to boot.

Brandy,you know Caite actually had a point when she said "Maybe you should've treated people a bit nicer."-Quit acting like you're some intellectual superior being already-hello,you're on a fricking reality show,not an university think tank,sweetie!

If you were really as smart as you claim to be,you would have taken a moment to reconsider going off on Caite as your last moment of fame on this show. Caite may be a tad dippy and self centered(she could've taken a second to thank Brent there)but whining about a game strategy that you didn't think was "logical" because it resulted in your being eliminated makes you appear childish and petty. Jet and Cord at least took their loss like gentlemen and focused on the positive aspects of their experience,taking the high road which you don't have to be "smart" to do. It was badly done,Brandy,badly done indeed!:





Movie Night on American Idol was a strange affair,to say the least. First off,Jamie Fox was beyond obnoxious with his "Contestant" and "Artist" T-shirt gimmick(how about giving some helpful advice instead,rather than your self serving conception of a mentor performance there,Jamie,seriously?)and the song choices were odd as a cod.

Crystal,I totally dig you but the theme song from Caddyshack? I also love Lee but his version of "Kiss from A Rose" was bad enough to qualify as a violation of the Geneva convention(Big Mike has the right range for that song,but he did a nice job with the Michael Jackson tune from Free Willy,in my opinion). Their duet was lovely to listen to,so instead of choosing an individual performance as the best of the night,the honors go to their joint rendition of "Falling Slowly". It was the sweetest moment of harmony on stage that night:





The Sanjaya award this week goes again to Casey,for his clueless take on "Mrs. Robinson." While Lee's horrible version of Seal was painful to hear,it was merely a bad choice of song. Casey turned this classic bittersweet tune about suburban regret and a middle aged matron's malaise into a cutesy countrified number,using a Tiny Tim guitar to play it no less.

Also,Big Mike clearly outshone Casey in their duet together(why they picked a song that wasn't written as duet to begin with is beyond me)and I'm truly sorry to see Casey stay on for the Final Three instead of Michael. Good luck to you and yours,Big Mike-your charm and talent will take you far. As for Casey,remember this wise old Judge Judy saying-"Beauty fades,but dumb is forever.":

ENOUGH WITH THE KARA THE COUGAR ROUTINE ALREADY!



THE LEMONHEADS HIT THE RIGHT SOUR NOTE HERE



RANDOM NOTES:



LEGEND OF THE SEEKER: The two part second season finale begins this weekend and should be a hell of a send-off for the series or,if the campaigns to save the show are successful,a new beginning for a well deserved third go-round. Either way,this should be interesting:

Are the Sisters Bronte making their move into Jane Austen's remix territory?

While Jane Austen has been riding the forefront of the literary remix genre for quite some time now,it is good to see other classic authors such as Louisa May Alcott and Leo Tolstoy(in the upcoming book,Android Karenina)starting to get some of that spotlight as well.



However,the works of the sisters Bronte have been rather slow to step into the current classic revival craze,but I suspect that hesitation will not last long.

Wuthering Heights has benefited from it's Twilight connection and the newest video clip sensation making the book blog rounds is this mock ad for "Bronte Sisters Power Action Dolls",created by a couple of folks behind the film adaptation of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

It's done in an 1980s TV commercial style that has our book throwing action heroines fight evil repressive male publishers by forming the ultimate feminist warrior,The Brontesaurus. Since there is a Jane Austen action figure out on the market,it would be cool if the set of Power Sisters Bronte teamed up with her and maybe a George Eliot doll(her books are heavy enough to make a daunting weapon)as a Superfriends-ish bunch of literary avengers to fight literary evil everywhere:





The timing of this video's release couldn't be better,especially upon the heels of the recent debut of a classic Bronte sisters novel in a monster mash-up fashion. Jane Slayre has Charlotte Bronte's plucky leading lady become a woman warrior destined to fight any and all supernatural foes that cross her path,including her literally bloodsucking relatives and that werewolf wife of her beloved Mr. Rochester.

Writer Sheri Browning Erwin felt that making Jane Eyre a Buffy the Vampire Slayer type of gal might encourage her daughter to give the original novel a chance and many other moms might be thanking her for getting their girls to read more than just those Justin Bieber fan magazines at home and school as well:





In a way,it's surprising that the Brontes haven't been snapped up sooner in this genre,given the gothic sensibilities of their combined body of work that easily lends itself to the inclusion of ghouls,ghosts and other scary silly creatures.

Then again,maybe it's because of that accessibility that it has taken so long for the Bronte brood to take hold here. Artistic folks do like a challenge and when you're going for the funny,having unlikely characters in strange situations is usually a sure bet for belly laughs. However,the Austen remixes have proven that there is more than one way to tell a story and no doubt that the other Bronte books will be joining the parody parade in due course:





However,I wouldn't count Jane Austen out just yet. Starting on May 17,an Austen inspired web series will be featured at Babelgum.com,based on the Austen inspired novels by Laurie Viera Rigler.

Sex and the Austen Girl takes both sides of the body switching comedic drama presented in Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict and Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict,which has each leading lady discuss the various dilemmas in her new found place in time and debate the different yet not so different social morays of their changed circumstances.

This is being done with the happy approval of Laurie V. Rigler-what Miss Austen herself would think,I can't presume to say but something tells me that she might be amused by all of this:





Many perceive there to be a rivalry between Austen and Bronte supporters,partly due to the infamous quotes from Charlotte Bronte regarding Jane,calling her a "social butterfly" and a man hunter,amongst other things. Even a subplot in Michael Thomas Ford's Jane Bites Back takes up this feuding theme. However,just because these ladies may not have seen eye to eye(there was no direct connection between Jane and Charlotte in their lifetimes),that doesn't mean that readers can't enjoy their novels and remain book buddies.

Even with the revived interest in their work arising from the literary remixes that are currently in vogue,good friends will still be so, even if they disagree about which redone titles are better than the other. One of the pleasures of reading is being able to share your views about it with others and having a lively debate about the merits of a piece keeps the mind active. Jane loved to engage in that herself and would no doubt endeavor to get the last word(which she and Charlotte may be doing in the after world):

My song picks for American Idol's Movie Night 2010

We're down to the Top Four on American Idol this week and tonight's theme is Songs from the Movies,a favorite of mine. As of this writing,the actual songs that the remaining contestants are planning to perform this evening are unknown to me.

However,that doesn't stop me from thinking about and choosing the cinematic tunes that I feel would suit each one of them best. Movie songs are often times mocked for their inevitable cheese factor,but when one hits the pop culture pulse in just the right spot,melodic magic is made.

So,without any further delay,let's look at the LRG Picks for Idol's Movie Night and see if they make any sort of singalong sense. Again,I must say that these are simply what I would have the Top Four perform,mainly for my own amusement(and perhaps yours as well):



Crystal Bowersox/"There He Goes"

Crystal is an amazing singer,with more than enough talent and heart to make it all the way to the finals. The tricky part of selecting a song that suits her is her eclectic taste in music,which is part of her unique charm. Crystal is not a cookie cutter gal when it comes to song choices,all the better for her.

I thought that a song from the Loretta Lynn biopic,Coal Miner's Daughter,would be an interesting one for her to do and this one in particular because it's not a big grandstanding tune. There's a down home energy to "There He Goes" that would click well with Crystal's "Mamasox" vibe.

Plus,I always liked this part of the movie,where Loretta is starting to sing in public and Sissy Spacek skillfully showcases Loretta's growing confidence as she goes thru the lyrics:





Michael Lynche/"Kiss From A Rose"

The story of Michael "Big Mike" Lynche is total Hollywood material;he auditioned for the show just as his wife was giving birth to their first child(a beautiful baby girl) and the Judges' Save for this season was granted to him after a heart rendering plea to stay in the game by giving an even stronger performance of "This Woman's Work" than he did on an earlier show.

Big Mike possesses a powerful voice that can be soaring and yet tenderly touching at the same time. That's why Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" from Batman Forever is picture perfect for him. True,Simon snarked at him for singing "Hero" from the soundtrack of the first Spiderman movie but,hey,if you're on a superhero streak to begin with,why stop now?:





Casey James/"Everything I Do(I do for You)"

Casey can be a great entertainer when he sets his mind to it;he's like the little girl with the curl,when he's good,he's very very good. However,as it was clearly obvious to many of us(except the folks calling in to vote)last week,when Casey is bad,he's horrid indeed.

He needs to pull off a really big song to stay in the competition this week and his best shot,in my opinion,is a page from the playbook of Bryan Adams,one of the movie song champions from the 1990s. His signature tunes are definitely in Casey's wheelhouse,as he proved earlier on this season.

It also helps that "Everything I Do" comes from the soundtrack of Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves,since a new Robin Hood flick is about to open up on this coming Friday. While I suspect that Russell Crowe's Sir Robin will be a hell of a lot better than Kevin Costner's take on the role,this song has the potential to be a real life saver for Casey here:





Lee DeWyze/"Why Should I Worry"

Lee is an odd duck,in the best sense of the word,in this competition. His quirky style and laid back demeanor have made him a dark horse,with signs that he could overtake the front runners and make it all the home.

With that in mind,Billy Joel's "Why Should I Worry" from Oliver and Company seemed to be the porridge that Goldilocks chose for Lee. He has the vocal chops to take on a Joel song and one of the bigger complaints about him from the judges has been his lack of onstage presence. This funky little number should allow Lee to strut his stuff nicely and it's a genuine toe tapper to boot:





By tomorrow,someone's musical fate will be sealed on American Idol and hopefully,a key factor in that decision won't be another editing screw-up by Fox,like the chop job they did on Lady Gaga's number last week(what was up with that,seriously? It was a crazycool performance,too-sort of like watching a gothic Poison Ivy reenact the Season Two finale of True Blood).

It would also be good if the mentoring for the finalists is an actual help to them. Jamie Fox is fine for this, yet again,I suppose,but I'd rather have a more movie music savvy guy on deck such as Quentin Tarantino,who encouraged a future Dream Girl rather well and unlike some of the people on the Judges' Panel this season,actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about(sorry,Ellen,you're sweet but a tad too sugary at times).

Then again,with Simon leaving the show next year,there's a seat that needs filling,so you never know there,my wish could come true. Stranger things have happened,folks:

Betty White's SNL debut didn't do enough jokey justice to her comedic legacy

I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in it's entirety for a long time,but with the success of the Facebook campaign to get Betty White as the hostess of the show over this past weekend,I tuned in to see how well she and the show would do together.

Betty was wonderful and a real trooper,especially in those seemingly endless MacGruber skits("MACGRUBER! WE'RE PROMOTING OUR OVER PROMOTED MOVIE,MACGRUBER!")and having former female cast members such as Amy Poehler,Tina Fey and Molly Shannon was a nice touch to keep the girl power punch lines going.

However,most of the show was a bit of a let down. The writing skills of this new SNL crew leave much to be desired,from the opening Lawrence Welk parody that went downhill fast(I don't get what Kristen Wiig was trying to do there)and the boring one-joke pace of the Manuel Ortiz show sketch to a half way decent census taker bit,this crop of Not Ready for Prime Time Players sadly lived up to that name.

One of the best parts of this episode was Betty's opening monologue,which showcased her still sharp wit rather nicely:





It's a real shame that more laughs couldn't have been inspired by Betty's participation, practically since she is a true comedy skit veteran. While Betty has done most of her best work on sitcoms like Mary Tyler Moore and Golden Girls,her knack for subtle verbal stingers and crafty comic timing with others made Betty a popular addition to any set of TV entertainers.

One show that she made frequent funny appearances on was The Carol Burnett Show and one of her best reoccurring characters was Ellen,the constantly perceived to be perfect sister of the beleaguered Eunice. When a spin-off show based on those skits, which was centered around Vicki Lawrence's bluntly spoken Mama,was created over a decade later,White revived the character for a few episodes,proving how sweetly supportive she could be of a new entertaining enterprise:



Betty also popped on Tonight Show skits during the Johnny Carson years,giving her all to some of the swings taken at current pop culture and being a sassy straight woman for Johnny's on the money one liners:



For while,the MTV Movie Awards did amusingly mocking mash-ups of hit films and TV shows,with a classic one being a version of the teen flick Clueless. It cast three out of the four Golden Girls including White playing the best friend of Estelle Getty's holding out for a Baldwin heroine:



Speaking of Golden Girls,it's hard to overlook the brilliant ensemble work displayed on that series by all of the leading ladies. Many a time,one of them would have the spotlight on her during those in between pauses in the plot,giving folks a good giggle or two. White's rambling story teller Rose did her fair share of that and was able to keep her reluctant listeners from escaping before the long awaited end,which didn't always clear things up:



Betty White's appearance on Saturday Night Live was a win-win in many ways,boosting some extra high ratings for the show and refreshing Betty's pop culture chic. Too bad that the end results didn't turn out to be as funny as they could have been,yet it's not a total loss here. Betty White is our resident go-to gal for classic comedy moments and nothing can take that away from her. The best thing about this whole affair is that we're taking the time to appreciate this talented lady while she's still around to hear the applause:

Share some Mother's Day schadenfreude with the Gilmore Girls

Another Mother's Day weekend is set to unfold and while I happily applaud this moment of time dedicated to celebrating all of the maternal figures in our lives,some of the folks out there buying those last minute gifts and making those long distance calls are dreading the fights and guilt trips that usually crop up from the high expectations that this holiday makes upon everyone.

Truth be told,family relationships are not always harmonious which is a good thing. Being in sync on every subject for every occasion is a bit much,not to mention creepy and possibly leading to behavior strange enough to qualify for an A&E reality series.



A good pop culture example of this is the backbone of the former hit show and female friendly favorite,Gilmore Girls. While Lorelai and Rory had one of the most simpatico mother-daughter connections in TV history,those two had their share of spats,fights and major league misunderstandings that balanced out their sweetly savvy BFF bond.

For the offbeat amusement factor,let's take a look at a handful of the battles between the Misses Gilmore and other mom related mishaps that have kept things interesting over those seven seasons:

SHE MEANT WELL: A few of the fights between Rory and Lorelai have sprung up from one or the other trying to help fix a situation or kickstart a new and much needed one. While in Season One Rory was dismayed to find out that Lorelai had invited Dean over for their weekly Movie Night,that spontaneous action did make her romance with Dean get off to a good beginning. Her initial response was completely understandable but not worthy of comparing Lorelai to her mother,the queen of social manipulation:



PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE,MUCH?: Sometimes Emily's influence as a subtle hint dropper did affect Lorelai's behavior as another Season One disagreement came about due to jealousy of Rory's growing relationship with her grandparents that was ten times more affectionate than Lorelai ever had with them. With Rory's refusal of joining her mom into an excuse to ditch the dreaded Friday Night dinner,Lorelai resorted to irrational logic and sniping over a sweater to make her displeasure known:





Lorelai's relationship with her mother Emily is pretty much the polar opposite of the one she has with Rory. The reason for that was best summed up in a third season episode where Emily tried to build an emotional bridge between them on a spa weekend together and Lorelai had to be honest and tell her,"Rory and I are best friends first and mother and daughter second. You and I are mother and daughter always."

That's not to say that Lorelai and Emily never see eye to eye or look out for each other when need be. During a particularly stressful visit from her mother-in-law Trix,Emily got some advice from Lorelai on how to cope with Gram's constant put downs and controlling behavior,which she used in an inspired manner that earned a quiet bit of praise from her daughter:



ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: Emily's full-on ire can be hard to handle in person,as Luke discovered when confronted by her at his diner in season four. Not being a big fan of high tech gadgets,Luke became a quick convert to speed dial in order to be rescued from the wrath of Emily. The only one capable of dealing with that level of self-entitled force was ,of course,Lorelai who had to lay the hammer down,perhaps a tad stronger than she meant to:





In talking about moms on Gilmore Girls,it would be almost a sin to leave out the most formidable of them all,Mrs. Kim. The constantly controlling antics that drove her beloved yet fearful only child Lane to lead a couple of secret lives were motivated by love and concern,unmindful at times of the damage being done to their emotional relationship.

Over time,Mrs. Kim did soften her hold on Lane's activities but not without putting up a good fight first. When Lane desperately wanted her rock band boyfriend Dave to take her to the prom,Dave was the one who made the impassioned plea for them and even went so far as to read the entire Bible in one night to win her mother's approval. Granted,this is more of a negation than an argument but since it was a battle for Lane's happiness,I think it should count:



In the end,all disputes between characters in Gilmore Girls got settled and most fences wound up being mended. Even Lorelai and her mom shared a few fun moments together,altho not without a sly dig from at least one of them when the moment presented itself. It wouldn't have been Gilmore Girls without someone getting the last word in,after all. Hopefully,your Mother's Day will be just as lively and less contentious than the usual Lorelai and Emily run-in:

TC Masters fight wedding wars,TAR's Final Three and Idol sings Sinatra

The championship rounds of Top Chef Masters started this week,with the eight chefs being divided into two teams for the Quickfire challenge. They were given tag team cooking which required them to make a complete dish one at a time without any verbal communication and to be blindfolded until their turn was up.

The team that won was made up of Marcus Samuelsson,Carmen Gonzalez,Tony Mantuano and Susur Lee. Their pan seared sea bass with prosciutto had more flair than the mussel and scallop stew served by Rick Moonen,Jody Adams,Susan Feniger and Jonathan Waxman(who wanted to go first in the challenge,since he's a bit claustrophobic and the blindfold requirement made him nervous). The winning team was given ten grand to split up for their charities and an advantage for the Elimination challenge.



The challenge was to cook for a wedding due to take place the very next day,with the winning team getting to choose either the bride's side or the groom's to make food for. They went for the bride,whose preferences were French and Asian style of cuisine;her husband-to-be was more of a meat and potatoes kind of guy.



Each team also had to make a cake,which is expected at a wedding after all and granted,they had real short notice but Susan Feniger's Egyptian semolina cake with berries and cream was a frosted flop. Not only did the uncut cake looked like something straight out of a home-ec class from hell but when sliced ,the portions were as dry as a bone.



Luckily,Jody Adams saved the day by making the bride's favorite dessert,bananas foster,that went over like gangbusters. She also took a risk by offering up a rack of lamb plate that the bride initially vetoed early on but it won her and everyone else over. Jody and her team were declared the winners and moved on to the next round. As the stand out winner for this round,Jody received another fifteen grand for her charity,Partners in Health.



The dessert table for the groom had several offerings,including a raisin pudding with butterscotch, a croque-en-bouche(a french cake made up of small pastry balls that I think the bride would've liked more)and the carrot cake that the groom had requested. Susur Lee really threw himself into that but unfortunately that didn't make up for the mushy meat that Marcus Samuelsson made or the lack of main entrees from Carmen.



Carmen wound up going home,since her running of the kitchen only allowed her to make a crab cake appetizer and a couple of side dishes(corn salsa and baby spinach with garlic and lemon). That didn't seem like much of an effort to the Judges and not enough food to rate her skills by.

I do have to give credit to Marcus for speaking up for her at the Judges' Table,pointing out that she did keep everything in check and made sure her team mates were in sync. Good sportsmanship there,buddy,especially after that "every man for himself" attitude you had the last time. Carmen's other team mates rallied around her but someone had to pack up their knives and she went about that with her head held high.

Next week,the chefs get a nifty pop culture challenge as they are assigned to whip up gourmet dishes for characters from the Simpsons,which should make for a rather entertaining meal indeed.



The Final Three teams for the finale of The Amazing Race have been determined and we're left with Team Tiara(Brent and Caite),Team Cowboy(Jet and Cord)and Team Brother Act(Dan and Jordan),who barely managed to beat out Michael and Louie,the undercover cop buddies on this last leg in Shanghai.

Congrats to all of the teams,and while I am rooting for Jet and Cord to take the big money home,I do have some advice for Dan and Jordan. Guys,your supportive sibling relationship is to be commended but your tendency to put additional pressure on yourselves when it comes down to the wire could be your ultimate undoing.

Check yourselves before you wreck yourselves,fellas. Also, getting impatient with cab drivers who obviously don't speak the same language as you is only inviting bad karma to the party:





It was Frank Sinatra week on American Idol and guest mentor Harry Connick,Jr. really went out of his way to help the contestants do well here. He not only did the standard one-on-one with them but arranged all of their music and even performed with the band on stage during their numbers. Harry Connick has always stuck me as a nice guy but apparently his generosity towards struggling artists knows no bounds.

High expectations were set for Sinatra songs,but with one glaring exemption,most of the contenders did a good job with this material. Lee gave a stand out performance of "That's Life" and Crystal did a much better rendition of "Summer Wind" than the judges were willing to give her credit for(hello,it's supposed to be a slow song,that's why she sang it that way! Most of you are music industry professionals,so you should know what it means when someone does a crooner style of song there!).

My choice for best of the night was Big Mike,who truly delivered on "The Way You Looked Tonight." I really hope he makes it to the finals-nice guys ought to finish first every once in a while:





While I wasn't that sorry to see Aaron go home(he's a nice kid but still just a kid after all),it was surprising to see Casey not even make the Bottom Two for his horrible version of "Blue Skies." I'm on the fence at times with Casey;sometimes he can wow you with incredible vocals and others he either coasts on or crashes and burns.

Even tho the voters may have been fine with his performance, we at the LRG Music Committee are presenting him with a hefty sized Sanjaya award for singing this song with a vibrato as rickety as a shopping cart with three bad wheels. Painful beyond belief to hear this,I'm surprised that Sinatra didn't rise from his grave to punch Casey out:

THOSE SKIES LOOK OVERCAST TO ME



EVEN BING BELTED IT OUT BETTER(NO PUN INTENDED,I SWEAR!)



RANDOM NOTES:

THE NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR: A new season of this competition series is coming back in June,with plenty of the big names on the channel adding some spice to the proceedings. This may not be Top Chef or even Hell's Kitchen(also stirring up another season to start in June)but it's a lot of fun for foodie folks,so set up some snacks and enjoy:

Some musical odd couples are not as unlikely as you think

Some music fans were startled to discover recently that one of the songs on Michael Bolton's upcoming album this fall was written by none other than Lady Gaga(you can even hear her singing in the background of the tune in question,entitled Murder My Heart).

While this may seem to be a strange pairing of musical talents,sort of like having Henry Rollins write songs and arrange the score for High School Musical 5,teams-up like this are not as uncommon as you would imagine. Many a time a singer-songwriter will have another recording artist do a certain song that they're happy to sit back and simply get the "lyrics by" credit for.



One big name performer well known for doing this is Prince,who has written songs for Sheena Easton,Madonna and various others in his musical posse.

Many were taken aback by Sinead O'Connor's debut hit single "Nothing Compares to U" being one of his original compositions,mainly since most folks were only familiar with Prince's more notoriously naughty numbers(such as the infamous "Darling Nikki"). Turns out that the Purple One did possess a softer side,one that served him and Sinead rather well in the long run:





Paul Williams has had a diverse pop culture career,with writing songs for the likes of Three Dog Night,Helen Reddy and Barbara Streisand to appearances on TV shows such as Batman:The Animated Series(as the voice of The Penguin),Babylon 5,Picket Fences and Walker,Texas Ranger,plus film appearances including a major role as evil music mogul Swan in the cult classic Phantom of the Paradise.

One constant in Williams' winding road of professional achievements is his unexpected enjoyment of children's entertainment. He wrote and performed several of the songs in the 70's kiddie mobster musical Bugsy Malone,as well as many Muppet related programs including Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas and John Denver's Christmas special with Kermit and the gang.

Speaking of Kermit,it was Paul Williams who wrote the frog's trademark song "The Rainbow Connection",which received an Oscar nomination as the Best Song from The Muppet Movie. It may be hard to picture someone with the sinister snarkiness that Williams has in abundance to be such a sentimentalist at heart,but looks can and are truly deceiving,in the best sense of the phrase:



It was puzzling to some fans of the movie The Bodyguard that most of the tunes from the soundtrack sung by Whitney Houston that were nominated for Best Original Song that year didn't include everyone's favorite,"I Will Always Love You". The reason for that was it wasn't an original song for either the film or Whitney. Dolly Parton first wrote it in the early seventies and retouched the song to add it into the playlist for her role in the big screen version of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

The song still has a strong pop culture cache,with it being the centerpiece of a very memorable Luke and Lorelai moment in the final season of Gilmore Girls. As much as I like Dolly and Whitney,Lauren Graham's take on the song is my favorite version:





Even James Bond is not immune from offbeat musical pairings. True,most of the Bond movie theme songs are sung by those who write them but there's always an exception to the rules,especially for Tina Turner. The theme to the first Pierce Brosnan helmed 007 movie "Goldeneye" was sung by Tina and written by Bono & The Edge.

Of all the post-Connery Bonds,Pierce Brosnan was one of the best and this theme song is one of the last good ones made for the series. Tina's vocal strengths evoke a Shirley Bassey slickness to the song which was well crafted by Bono,who upgraded the old school style nicely:



So,the next time you hear about two singers who sound as compatible as chalk and cheese working together on a song,don't be too quick to raise your eyebrows about it. Sometimes,even a song you know and hate can become your new favorite in the hands and voice of a completely different singer:

Louisa May Alcott mania is on the move

Awhile ago,news came out concerning plans to add Louisa May Alcott into the literary remix melting pot with Little Women and Werewolves,a novel by Porter Grand that's been recently made available at a bookseller near you.

Well,right next to that on the New Releases display is Little Vampire Women,co-written by Lynn Messina which portrays the March girls as a set of sisterly bloodsuckers who do their best to honor their dear Marmee's wishes and restraint themselves from partaking of human blood.

This book is aimed at the teen audience,so it may not be as whimsically gruesome as the cover art implies,yet the rewritten opening line of this sanguinary story is "Christmas won't be Christmas without any corpses",so there may be some scary sibling rivalry here:






More details are known about Little Women and Werewolves,and yes,Laurie is one of the four legged fiends in question but he assists the March sisters in hunting down the more dangerous of his kind who are devouring their friends and neighbors.

I'm still not crazy about the whole concept of the girls as werewolf hunters but then again,the supernatural carnage could be seen as a metaphoric tie-in to the distant violence of the Civil War that plays far in the background of the original book,not to mention that imagining Jo as someone who would go up against a monster in a face-to-face fashion is not all that hard to believe:





All of the Alcott attention is not only from the paranormal corner. Kelly O'Connor McNees has been making a slow but steadily strong splash with her debut novel,The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott,takes a look at a time in the author's youth when she became lost in love.

This was one of my birthday gift purchases I made for myself this year and so far,the book is beyond lovely indeed.

The plot has Louisa struggling and planning to break away from her family and make an independent life for herself as a writer when she unexpectedly forms a deep connection to Joseph Singer,a charming young man content to live and work in the small sleepy town of Walpole,New Hampshire where the Alcott's dire finances have lead them to take charitable residence at the house of a relative. Louisa then has to make a choice between her heart's desire and her artistic drive.

While I was never one of those Little Women readers who took it personally that Jo and Laurie never hooked up in the end,this is a delight to read and should satisfy many of the determined folks from that fan base as well:



It's too soon to tell if this Alcott interest will blossom into something more or just be swept up into the storm of literary revival mania. Alcott did write more than Little Women,after all but we did get a Broadway musical version of LW which might make for a very entertaining movie,if the right people are inspired to bring this about. As much as I love Jane Austen,it is time for another one of her sister writers to ride the pop culture train,in first class no less:

Board game boredom is coming to a theater near you

You can tell the creativity levels in Hollywood are low indeed when there are serious plans underway to make a Magic 8 Ball movie. I wish this was a joke,folks,but the sad truth is that the board game genre is rearing its ugly head again.

Don't get me wrong,I like board games but in the form that they were intended to be enjoyed in,not as a halfhearted excuse to waste time and money on a pointless film. Some of the proposed movies for this sad new cycle have classics like Monopoly and Battle Ship on deck,with the likes of Ridley Scott attached to them.



One upcoming film is actually using an idea that's been done before and I'm not sure that the producers realize it. As plans for an "action adventure" take on Ouija boards are being made,many of us recall a little horror flick called Witchboard back in the mid 1980s that had that supernatural slumber party favorite as the main mode of menace.

Tawny Kitean starred as the ill fated gal who made the mistake of summoning the spirits on her lonesome with that board and set off a chain of cheesy death sequence and a played out demon possession riff. The movie did manage to spawn a sequel that went straight to video,but despite it's small cult following,Witchboard is the first flick that comes to mind for this horrifying home game:





A better known example of the board game genre is Clue,another mid eighties movie that boasted an all-star cast(Tim Curry,Lesley Ann Warren,Madeline Kahn and even Jane Wiedlin from the Go-Gos)playing the likes of Miss Scarlett,Col. Mustard and other favorite persona pieces from the game trying to figure out whodunit.

The movie used three different endings,to keep audiences guessing which is not a wholly bad gimmick(it worked for the Broadway version of The Mystery of Edwin Drood for a good long while there). However,the over the top nature of the story line and some of the acting quickly snuffed out any potential for peaking any major interest in this haphazard adaptation:





There are a few success stories in every genre attempt,and it's only fair to acknowledge that here in this discussion. While Jumanji is really a children's book adaptation more than a board game one,it does use the popular notion of making your imagination come to life via a playing board and a roll of the dice to full advantage.

Since the source material is from a picture book,Jumanji does run into the same type of criticism about thin plot lines and visual bag of tricks overkill that other board game and especially video game based features face.

However,this movie garnered a tidy sum at the box office,inspiring a similar sci-fi version of another picture book with a board game theme to be made. No doubt the kids that were intended as the target audience for this movie were amused,which counts for something:





In the end,there's not much we can do to stop this genre die from being rolled again,other than to hope for low numbers on their opening weekends.

While it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to wish failure upon hard working film folk,it would be nice if someone with the power to greenlight major motion pictures would pluck an original script from their submission piles and give a struggling artist's vision a golden ticket to showing filmgoers something worth their money on the first day of release.

Then again,these new board game movies might at least be entertaining on a Mystery Science Theater level,so some good can come of their creation. When Hollywood hands you lemons,the best way to deal with that is to make laughter lemonade: