Lindsay Lohan:a Hot Hollywood Mess that needs to be cleaned up

I try to avoid most of the news about the celebrity bimbolinas that pass for starlets these days,but it's getting harder to look the other way on Lindsay Lohan. Her recent DUI arrest(her second one,I might add),just days after leaving rehab yet again(do they have a revolving door specially installed for her there or what?)has a nifty little upgrade there. Seems the cops found some cocaine on her person and what is her defense to that? Here what she e-mailed Access Hollywood's Billy Bush:

"I am innocent ... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy,"



Gee,that's so original-right up with "the dog ate my homework" and "I was just standing here,minding my own business,officer"! Come on,Lindsay,can't your publicist write you some better excuses than that? Even if the coke isn't yours(which I find difficult to believe,especially from a girl who went thru rehab and then announced to the world that she's holding her next birthday party in Las Vegas and it's being sponsored by a vodka company.),your credibility is pretty much shot to hell.

Of course,this latest bust is putting a crimp in Lohan's promo tour for her about to be released movie,I Know Who Killed Me. Awww,poor little Lindsay! Well,I know Who's Killing Your Career and if you want to know,too,just look in the mirror,honey.

Hey,Lindsay,if you want to go straight down the tubes,why not go all out? Surely,you can outdo the likes of Paris and Nicole in the shameless spiral game! Why not take a tip from Britney and hook yourself up with a real loser who will quickly drain your bank account and help shove you off that ledge you're endlessly teetering on. Maybe,if you're really lucky,you'll find your true soulmate like Nancy Spungen did:



I know how harsh that sounds but I'm getting sick of seeing celebrity self destruction,particularly from a young woman who's an icon to many of the up and coming generation out there. Can't somebody start making it trendy to be smart and have self respect? You don't hear about Natalie Portman hitting the clubs until the wee small hours of the morning while on a film shoot,do you? Keira Knightley isn't known for showing off her lack of underwear in front of the paparazzi,as far as I know. Anne Hathaway hasn't been seen falling down drunk and passing out in the front seat of her car! It can be done,folks.

Yes,girls just want to have fun and I'm not advocating that all of the Hollywood misses act like prim and proper prisses(and I'm not letting the boys off the hook either-what's bad for the goose is just as bad for the gander),I'm just begging for an end to this parade of stupid,spoiled sluttiness. It's getting to the point where I wouldn't be shocked if this South Park parody item was actually for sale at the local mall:



If you think I'm exaggerating about the influence of this behavior on young people,watch this clip from "My Super Sweet Sixteen",as Audrey shows her "appreciation" for the car her mother gave her as an early birthday gift:



The blame for this phenomenon can not be all put on Lindsay,or the rest of her catty cohorts-parents need to take a stand and give some real guidance to their kids. However,Lindsay is now 21 years old and she's the one who is going to have to accept responsibility for her own life choices and suffer the consequences.

So,Lindsay,it's all up to you. GET SOME DAMN HELP,ALREADY! No more of this phoney baloney pseudo rehab,you need the real deal. You might actually get some major jail time and if you do,use that time wisely. Otherwise,that Oscar you've been claiming is your destiny might never be yours,in this lifetime atleast: