Melissa's Manic Monday in Hell's Kitchen,more of the 4400 and some servings of The Soup

With Top Chef taking a week off for Independance Day,I get to devote some extra time to this week's entree of Hell's Kitchen,which was a doozy. We started off with Bonnie whimpering about how no one comforted her after being tossed up on the chopping block(that girl needs a crying towel with her at all times) and then some nap time before the next big challenge. Hell's Kitchen decided to cater a wedding and both teams were told to whip up a tasting menu for the bride and groom, with three dishes: appetizer,fish and meat.



Melissa appointed herself the leader of the Red Team and proceeded to bark orders at her fellow teammates as well as dictate what they should serve. It was bad when they all went shopping but worse as they got back to the kitchen,with Melissa constantly demanding that everyone answer to her if they didn't understand something or needed help(Julia said under the breath"Yeah,that's been helping us!" Nice one!). When Julia asked Bonnie about preparing the duck for the meat course,Melissa marched right over and nudged Bonnie away,telling Julia"You are supposed to listen to me,not her!"

All that disharmony in the Ladies' Kitchen lead to a terrible shock at the tasting which gave the Blue Team their first victory and embarrassed Gordon Ramsey:



The fault for that dried up duck is all Melissa's;she was the one who insisted on duck in the first place(the guys rejected it due to the one hour limit everyone was given to cook)and she was the one that put it back in the oven after it was already done,supposedly to "keep it warm". Yeah,but if the oven is STILL ON,it tends to do this thing called "cooking" there,hon. And where were the sides and the seasonings for that dish? No sauce,no garnishes,no veggies...it looked like Melissa was more concerned about dressing up that appetizer(which,I agree with the groom,was very much a dessert serving)than preparing the meat. No wonder it took Melissa ten years to learn about ingrediants,clearly she took the short bus to culinary school.

The fellas were rewarded with massages,while the girls had to decorate the entire restaurant for the wedding party. The ladies recieved instructions on what to do from the gleefull wedding planner:



Doesn't seem like much of a punishment for the Red Team,does it? Oh,but it was,since Melissa keep running her mouth nonstop as they worked on the preparations. The "Hell's Bitches" had had a spat after the tasting,with Melissa snapping at Julia to "grow a set of balls". Julia is truly a lady,because I for one would've gotten right in her face for that comment.

Melissa kept bugging the hell out of everyone,with her "do you need help with that?" routine,trying to constantly tell her team mates what she thought the right way was to make up the favors. I've helped my mom with wedding favors and believe you me,it is not a task that requires that much conversation.

Melissa's insanity spread over to the guys' kitchen as well,with her hassling Rock about how to cook the potatoes(he wisely hustled her butt out of there)and then tried to put the blame on him when all of hers' turned black. Ramsey didn't buy that,since one of the basic rules of cooking is that when you peel potatoes and cut them up,you need to put them in water right away to prevent them from oxidizing(kind of similar to sliced apples turning brown). My mother taught me that,and I didn't even realize why when I was younger but knew enough to do it because she did. What kind of cooking school or work experience does Melissa have or attended that makes her this dumb?

Later on,Melissa ruined one of the sauces and went over to bum some more from the Blue Team,who rightly told her no. This is a competition(as Melissa pointed out to Bonnie earlier)and why should they go without sauce due to her screw-up? I think the only one having fun working the wedding was Jean Phillipe,who sent the fussy wedding planner over to Ramsey to ask about how soon the bride's parents would be served:



All of this lead to Melissa being picked for elimination,along with Bonnie. Jen was the one chosen to make the selections and while she didn't want to put Bonnie up,she knew that Julia was too good to be up for the slaughter. Jen's really starting to show some character and growing some guts,which I hope she keeps up. She's really making up for the spaghetti incident the other week.

Melissa was taken off of the Red Team(with Jen saying "Thank God" out loud)and instead of being dismissed,was told to join the Blue Team. The fellas were not happy about that,especially Rock. I don't know if Ramsey is just keeping her on for the drama or what,but clearly the woman is off her nut. How to explain this total meltdown in what seems to be a rather short time? Watch this skit from The Whitest Kids U Know and just picture Zach as Melissa,Trevor as Gordon Ramsey and the rest of the cast as all the other chefs. This seems to be the best explanation of this whole episode,in my opinion:





The newest episode of the 4400 was my favorite so far this season. It was called "Audrey Parker's Come and Gone",with an aging woman who gained the power of astral projection after taking Promicin,which she not only blogged about but tried to use to help others before she was murdered. The main story was nicely done,and I liked how Diana felt the closest to Audrey after knowing more about her,which spurred her on to kill the killer. I'm also glad that Maia and Ben are back in the picture since Diana's probaly going to need alot of support when she finally finds April.



The biggest plot twist this week was Kyle's being summoned by his spirit guide Cassie to witness what she called "the beginning" of his big shaman role,which turned out to be Isabelle's escape. I wonder who is behind Isabelle's prison break: her dad,Jordan Collier or someone who thinks that she may not be as powerless as she seems for the moment? Duh dun dun DUN! We shall soon see. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that Cassie is truly meant to help Kyle,not get him hurt. The poor guy's been thru enough already:

HEY,DAD,MEET MY NEW INVISIBLE FRIEND!



Random Notes:

The Nathan's 2007 Hot Dog Eating Contest: This is starting to become a Fourth of July tradition for me to watch who wins the Mustard Belt at Coney Island. The competition was fierce this year,as six time champ Kobayashi(who nearly didn't enter the race due to a jaw problem) was narrowly beaten by top contender Joey Chestnut. Joey not only won but he set a couple of records as well,by eating 66 hotdogs in 12 minutes. It really was a photo finish there:



The Soup: David Spade's ShowBiz Show may have closed up shop for now,but E!'s pop culture weekly pop culture wrap-up,The Soup,keeps on serving up the silly. Joel McHale and company really know how to find the best of the not intending to funny but are anyway moments of television,along with great little skits that are better than most of the current slop being offered up on SNL these days:

IPHONE MANIA



COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LANDLORD ALL YOU WANT,BUT ATLEAST PEARL WASN'T A PICKLE LICKER!



SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PARODY A REALITY SHOW?