One of our few traditions at LRG is Bad Movie Month,where every Friday in August we highlight a truly awful cinematic offering. This year's theme is TV Remake Madness,a Hollywood standard that doesn't seem to die,only multiply like a string of zombie movies.
First in our lackluster line-up is Dragnet from 1987,starring Dan Ackroyd as a descendant of Joe Friday with Tom Hanks as his modern day partner. This film version of the iconic 60s crime series takes a comedic spin on the subject matter,which might have seemed great on paper but when put into action,becomes one of those SNL skits that never knows when to end.
As proof of that,check out this rap video made for the soundtrack featuring Hanks and Ackroyd(they wear short shorts and wind up in go-go dancer cages at one point;you have been warned!):
On the next channel,we have 1998's Lost In Space,starring William Hurt as the dad of the Robinson clan,accompanied by the likes of Matt LeBlanc,giving the kind of performance you would expect from Joey on Friends in a sci-fi flick and Heather Graham as daughter Judy(not of the Jetsons).
One of the few things that make this overwrought film bearable is Gary Oldman,as the devious Dr. Smith. This is the second time that I know of Oldman being a great villain in a bad yet watchable science fiction movie(before that,The Fifth Element in 1996). However,even a good bad guy can not redeem a truly awkward film fiasco:
It would be wrong to leave kid shows out here,so the 1987 live action version of Masters of the Universe is on the viewing schedule here. Muscle man extraordinaire Dolph Lungren plays He-Man while Frank Langella gets to hide his face in Halloween make-up and avoid the shame of being recognized as Skeletor.
Like Lost in Space,another Friends regular has a pivotal role in this more campy than the actual cartoon feature. Courtney Cox is denied the opportunity to wear a kooky costume,however,as her part of hapless Earthling drawn into this cosmic battlefield only allows her to scream on cue. Then again,it's probably more of a realistic character than the one she plays on Cougar Town these days:
Speaking of cougars,the last and most likely the least of these TV based terrors is Sex and the City 2. Since I am NOT a fan of the highly touted HBO series,watching this pack of whiny well-to-do gal pals take a glamor trip to the Middle East is cinematic torture for me. Yet,due to this sorry sequel making every Worst Movie of the Year list back in 2010,plus a good number of Razzie nominations and wins,makes it hard to overlook this ripe for the ripping chick flick.
And no,I don't intend to sit through the first SATC movie. I'm not that much of a glutton for cinematic punishment,folks. After all,there were plenty of
people who saw this sucker in theaters who didn't either and watching it from that p.o.v. should be useful. Hey,if I can get through Battlefield Earth,this shouldn't be too bad,right?:
My consultation prize for enduring that horror show will be The Sister's Salute(my sis Stephanie has an August birthday and I like to add a favorite bad movie of her choice as a blog gift),which is Summer School from 1987. Granted,it's not TV based but the plot does have a sitcom feel to it.
I hope you all check our Bad Movie Month write-ups this summer and share your best of the worst TV related Hollywood film thoughts. While some major motion pictures made from small screen favorites haven't been all bad,too many of them haven't been that worth while opening weekend watching either. The only way to find out whether or not a big screen TV remake has what it takes to entertain is to stay tuned:
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