Jane Porter shows us that She's Gone Country,in the best sense of the word

Shey Lynne Darcy seemed like the quintessential New York City success story;a former fashion model who once had her own business,plus a loving husband and family to devote her time to. All of that changed when said husband John announced that he was leaving Shey for another lover,one that she couldn't compete with-a man.

Devastated,Shey packed up her three teenage sons and moved back home to Texas,where not only her tough as nails mother and loving but overprotective brothers Brick and Blue Callen are there to support her but also a man she hasn't seen in a long time, Dane Kelly.

Dane was her brother Brick's best friend as well as a good friend of the family and Shey's very first love ever since she was a little girl. When she was sixteen,Shey openly pursued Dane,who was six years older than her but their romance was cut short when her family shipped her off to boarding school. That change of scene eventually lead to the two of them taking separate paths in life and love.

Over the years,a riff between Brick and Dane has arisen,partly due to business dealings in the area that conflict with one another,not to mention a major disagreement about Cody, the youngest Callen brother afflicted with untreated bipolar disorder that lead to drug addiction and a too soon death. Their main bone of contention,however,was the budding romance between Shey and Dane.



Shey has a lot on her plate to deal with already,as her divorce is not yet final and her sons are having a hard time adjusting to a more rural lifestyle. Eldest boy Hank is scheming to return to New York in order to complete his private school education at any cost while middle child Bo is going through bouts of depression that cause Shey to worry about him inheriting her brother Cody's illness.

It's her youngest,Cooper,however,who unwittingly helps Shey to reconnect to Dane. Cooper loves the cowboy lifestyle and wants to become a professional bull rider so once he realizes that his mom knows Dane,a former champion who had to retire due to injuries,Cooper pesters her to let him train with Dane.

Shey has her concerns but knows that Dane is the best man for the job and is secretly thrilled that one of her kids has the country spirit. He's reluctant at first to get that involved with Shey and her boys but after awhile,Dane takes on Cody's training and is impressed by his natural skills:





All of her new interest in Dane is far from motherly concern;Shey still has feelings for Dane but is wondering why Dane went and married someone else all those years ago(who he later divorced)and somewhat jealous of the new woman in his life.

Eventually,Shey gets to the truth of those situations,both past and present,and learns that Dane has a few personal sorrows of his own which still need healing. As she tries to bring back her former lively personality,Shey discovers that part of that process involves renewing her bond with Dane.

Regardless of what her brothers feel about their relationship,sparks soon reignite between Dane and Shey,causing them to fall in love all over again. This emotional revival is a boon to them both,helping Shey and Dane to renew their wounded souls and bask in the glow of true mature love that gives them the strength to face whatever lies ahead:





She's Gone Country is the latest female friendly novel from Jane Porter,who succeeds in making tales about moms looking for a new lease on life more than just standard TV movie fare. Her characters are charmingly conflicted about their predicaments without being too quirky-cute for their own good.

Also,the leading lady's maternal drive does not dilute her attractiveness to her former flame,rather it enhances his desire. That's something you don't see enough of in pop culture romances,especially for folks well out of their twenties. Kudos to Jane for showing how maturity can be just as sexy as the first blush of youth,if not more so.

She's Gone Country is a delightful entertainment that can keep you turning the pages until all hours of the night and the perfect way to cap your summer reading season. It's available in paperback and should be on sale by August 23,so set your sights on this one at a bookseller near you. Be sure to share it with your friends and book club buddies,as this down home novel will definitely give all of you something to talk about,indeed:

Is the fate of the comic book movie in jeopardy or not?

In the big box office battle this past weekend,the biggest loser seems to be Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World,which only made it to the Top Five with a take of ten million. That might not seem so bad until you realize that the budget for this film was close to 80 million,making their current profit literally chump change at this point.

The movie did receive a strong number of positive reviews(along with negative ones)and while it did have a good shot at being the middle ground money maker between the guy friendly flick The Expendables(which rose to the top of the heap with 35 mil)and the gushing gal pal pic Eat,Pray,Love(that came in second with 23 mil),somehow Scott Pilgrim and friends seemed to have dropped the ball on this golden window of opportunity:





Despite the low turn-out for Scott Pilgrim on opening weekend,it's too soon to completely dismiss it as a film flop. This film does have a serious cult following from it's initial comic book audience and will more than likely become a quirky cult film that will make back it's money over time,thanks to international release and the DVD market.

Yet,folks are saying that with Scott Pilgrim and last spring's Kick-Ass,the comic book movie genre is in danger of being kicked to the pop culture curb. I'm not too sure about that,since Iron Man 2 did a hefty take this summer(beginning with an opening of 100 mil in the U.S. alone)with another sequel on the way and a few more classic superheroes such as Thor and Green Lantern set to hit the scene soon.

The real concern appears to be for the indie comic,which does have a harder row to hoe in terms of capturing the mainstream audience. What can help the smaller graphic novel based film hit the pop culture pulse with more impact is a breakthrough character,such as Hit Girl from Kick Ass. Not only is the young actress who played her(Chloe Grace Morentz)turning into the next big thing in Young Hollywood,there are fans clamoring for a sequel starring her. Not too shabby for such an underdog darling there:





With Scott Pilgrim,the real problem may have been in the marketing which,as some have pointed out ,catered more to those already converted to it's cause rather than draw in newbies. Perhaps advertising SP as a date night feature film option might've gathered in a little more do-re-mi at the ticket counter,it's a reasonable argument.

One main drawback that no one has addressed yet is that SP is a mid-August release and as most of us know,August at the movies is the land of low expectations as far as Hollywood is concerned.

Either your movie makes a quick killing at the multiplex that vanishes into the night by the next week until home video release or it becomes a surprise hit of the season. It's prison rules here,folks-kill or be killed,take your bloody pick.



While seeing Scott Pilgrim is not high on my pop culture priority list,fans of the film and it's comic should take heart that this lackluster opening weekend is not the death knell for the comic book genre in the graphic novel division. It may take a few more bold chances on a studio's part to give us the one good film that brings the medium right into the mainstream major leagues but it will happen at some point in time.

In the meanwhile,there are other comic book cinematic concerns that we should be rallying around like when are we going to get a Wonder Woman movie,huh,guys? Also,Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern,really? He made a decent Dead Pool,I grant you, but having him as Hal Jordan is a bit much,there. Oh,well,there's always something to stew about at the comic book store(and sing along to as well):

Cathy and her Cinderella liberation legacy of laughter

Word has been out since last week that cartoonist Cathy Guisewite plans to end her comic strip Cathy this coming October,after 34 years. Guisewite's reasons for doing so include wanting to spend more time with her loved ones and having other projects that she'd like to focus more on and I say good for her.

When she first started up her strip in 1976,the life and times of a single woman trying to juggle work,love and family responsibilities was slowly becoming a pop culture theme in films and TV,but not in the realm of comic strips which was still considered to be a kids zone for the most part.



Cathy's appearance on the comic strip scene took the everyday struggles of the modern "you can have it all!" working woman and allowed those ladies to blow off some much needed steam.

Between being overworked and under appreciated in the business world,looking for the perfect man and trying to reassure their mothers that yes,there will be grandchildren at some point in their lives,a lot of women found Cathy to be a humorous haven for them to huddle in.

The popularity of the strip grew over time,with not only the usual line of tie-in merchandise and books but even a few animated TV specials on CBS as well. The first one even won an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program in 1987,quite a feat for an adult oriented female centered cartoon there:





Cathy was more,however,than just an excuse to bitch about clothes not fitting right or to sell cookie tins;she was a frustrated yet fun gal pal for the evolving independent woman to hang out with and someone just like them who decided to take the constantly changing world around on her own terms with a laugh or two along the way.

Often times,the strip satirized the current trends that many middle to upper class folk eagerly embraced(work-outs,fad diets,self help schemes)and abandoned soon as the next new one came along. Also,the notion of a woman being a successful cartoonist(which like many other creative industries,is strongly male dominated)started to take hold in both pop culture and society,even inspiring a sitcom in the mid 1990s called Caroline in the City,which had a pretty decent four year run on NBC:





Of course,like many other cultural icons,Cathy has her fair share of detractors who either mock her over dramatic flair for freaking out about things or see her as an easy stereotype of typical female behavior.

While even the most sacred of cartoon characters are not above being the punch line of other people's jokes themselves,some of Cathy's best traits have been too quickly brushed aside in the rush to rub her face in non-waterproof mascara.

For decades,it was hard for women to have any sort of discussion about their feelings or to express their doubts about the role that society wanted them to have and when the feminist revolution came along,all of the talk was dead serious and as just as polarizing as past expectations about what a "real" woman should or shouldn't be.

Cathy gave those looking for a reasonable middle ground a safe place to come up for air while trending these turbulent waters and allowed them to be express their vulnerability and confusion about things without being sneered at. Her influence spread beyond the comics page,as other pop culture venues took on the "four guilt groups"(food,work,love and mom)that gave fictional female characters a focal point for real life women in the audience to identify and giggle along with:





While reveling in the past can be amusing,facing the future is just as important. Cathy's day in the sun may be over but she's leaving on a good note,not mention a well paved path that others are already following and more to come with each new generation of witty women in cartoons.

All good things must come to an end,as they say,and a true artist knows when it's time to stop fine tuning their creation. Cathy Guisewite and her comic strip sisterhood leave us with a better sense of how to handle the stresses of modern life while not taking ourselves too seriously,plus the joy of being a woman who can be both feminist and feminine all at once. Thank you,Cathy,for being there when we needed you the most and for bringing the laughs along with the chocolates:

Bad Movie Month just wants you to make a Deadly Friend

Film maker Wes Craven is considered one of the modern day masters of horror movies as well a cult movie pioneer,much like John Carpenter or Tobe Hooper.

While he shares much success in common with his cinematic contemporaries by taking the medium and genre to new levels of visual terror that has paved a gory path for other future film folk to follow,Wes also has sunk to the same movie mill level by plastering his name on substandard flicks as a producer credit and seeing his best work being remade as fast food filler for the multiplex and direct to video market.



However,Wes has also made his fair share of cinematic clunkers over the years. For every great fear flick like Nightmare on Elm Street,audiences have also been tricked out of their ticket money by going to see sludge like Shocker or Vampire in Brooklyn. Today,however,we are here to salute the sorriness of one of his mid-eighties attempts at terrifying teendom with a high tech edge,Deadly Friend.

Deadly Friend is based on a YA novel by Diana Henstall which was turned into a screenplay by Bruce Joel Rubin,who went later on to create the scripts for Ghost and Jacob's Ladder(whether or not he improved from that point is debatable).

Our story begins with teen genius Paul (Matthew Laborteaux,fresh off of Little House on the Prairie)who has just moved to a new town with his single mom and his homemade robot,BB,that follows him around as Paul gets to know the other supporting players like local paper boy Tommy and cranky neighbor lady Mrs. Parker(Anne Ramsey of Throw Mamma From the Train fame),plus some mean biker guys who bully our hero until his faithful robo-buddy literally puts the squeeze on them.



The person that Paul is most interested in is Samantha,the sweet blond girl who lives next door with her creepy,abusive dad who she dreams about fighting back against which turns into a extra disturbing nightmare(it involves blood squirting out of Dad's chest and spraying all over his darling daughter in bed,I kid you not).

Samantha,aka Sam,is played by a pre-Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson who did her resume no favors with this role,unless her career goal was to be a bad B movie star:



Soon enough,both Sam and BB are put out of commission-she by a fatal push down the stairs(Thanks,Dad!)and it from a shotgun blast by our handy mean old lady in the hood. Paul can't bear to lose either one of them,so he swipes Sam's body and plugs in BB's remaining memory chip in her head. That does revive Sam but the mix of her reanimated corpse with a jacked up robo-brain is not exactly peanut butter and jelly harmony.

Despite Paul's remote control,Sam refuses to stay put in his garage and starts off her new unlife by becoming a pretty little killing machine,complete with raccoon eyes,hands fixed into pincher mode and super strength to boot. Our undead heroine's reign of terror begins with a visit back home and it's not to wish her drunken daddy a Happy Father's Day:



The most gruesomely ridiculous act of vengeance by Robo-Sam is perpetrated against mean Mrs. Parker and no discussion of this movie would be complete without including the death by basketball scene. Turns out that the theatrical version of the film had to tone down some of the gore to avoid an X rating, but via the magic of DVD,this bizarre form of execution can now be seen in all of it's glory(it does get messy,you have been warned):





Believe it or not,there is serious talk about doing a remake of Deadly Friend starring Twilight's Kristen Stewart floating about Hollywood these days. The new version is said to be ready by 2011.

Usually the second time around is a sure sign of schlock but in this case,a vast improvement might be made on the source material. Then again,they're also talking about turning it into a 3D flick,so perhaps not.

Deadly Friend has blossomed over the years from a forgettable fright film into a cult classic gem beloved by horror fans and 80's enthusiasts alike. Whether you're looking for a seriously-so-bad-it's-good blast from the past or in the mood for a horrible hybrid of Bride of Frankenstein goes to Degrassi,this movie is your golden ticket to godawful cinematic delight:

The Next Food Network Star has an Iron Chef showdown,Top Chef D.C. goes to war and True Blood's battle royale

On Top Chef D.C. last night,Alex was definitely the man of the hour but not in a good way,folks. The Quickfire challenge was a tag team cook-off,with Alex being on the Red Team along side Ed,Tiffany and Angelo and their dish lost to the Blue Team(Kenny,Kevin,Amanda and Kelly),mainly due to their fish being over salted.

Each team had 40 minutes to make their dish and Alex was second up on the Red Team to cook,so for him to start seasoning the fish at least twenty minutes before it was supposed to hit the pan was a major league error.



The Elimination challenge was Restaurant Wars,which meant that everyone still had to work in teams and sure enough,Alex was hindering his side again. His lousy butchering of the meat caused Angelo to take over that chore(Tiffany wound up with fish to cook that still had bones and scales on them)and the rest of the team decided to keep Alex out of the kitchen as much as possible by giving him front of the house duties.



Despite the Red Team's restaurant,named EVOO, having poor service(thanks to Alex,who treated the staff as kindly as Mel Gibson does his ex-girlfriends)and mixed results in the food,they won the challenge.

When the judges asked who made the lamb chops with pea puree,it was Angelo who spoke up and credited the "concept" of the dish to Alex. Odd bit of hesitation there,especially since when Alex bought that plate to the judges,he first told them it was a pork chop! Hmm,you would think that he'd know exactly what the protein was on the one dish he was supposed to make as part of the challenge requirements,now wouldn't you?



The team winner was Ed,for his slow baked turbot with eggplant caviar and black olive jus. Immunity is no longer available but Ed did get a trip to a Napa Valley winery,plus a huge bottle of wine as his reward.



When the Blue Team(who named their place 2121)came in for their loser critques,I thought it would be Amanda's time to go. Her grilled steak with mushrooms was too thinly cut and the meat turned out to be hard to eat as a result. She claimed to be ignorant of that happening,but in an aside clip we saw the steak entrees being sent back to the kitchen and Kelly as front of the house asking Amanda to be more careful.



Instead,it was Kenny who had to pack his knives and go. The judges said it was because the two dishes he made-a beet salad and crispy goat cheese with fruit-were badly done. However,Kenny was the executive chef and kept his kitchen well organized with all of the orders being sent out without no problem(unlike the Red Team,who was working on the opposite side of the kitchen with the Blue).



Kenny brought up his management skills to the judges and then told them that Alex didn't make his dish,at all. Kevin backed him up and added that the Blue Team didn't trust Alex's skills and that Ed and Angelo were the ones behind that lamb chop plate all the way(they also confronted Alex about this in the stew room afterward).

The judges replied that "back of the house" stuff wasn't a consideration here and while they talked amongst themselves the possibility of Alex not cooking the lamb,they still chose to send Kenny home.

It's a tough call,folks. While it may have been unsportsmanlike for Kenny to bring up what someone on the other team did or didn't do,he wasn't making things up there. Also,both restaurants seemed to be even in terms of mistakes and good dishes,with the exception of customer service. Kelly was wonderful,if a little nervous,and clearly better than Alex in this department and to me,good service can make a bad meal go down better.

Also,Amanda had only one dish to make,unlike Kenny who did two and running the kitchen besides that,and her meat was a mess. Her culinary skills have been pretty hit or miss(remember the sherry chicken she made for school lunch?)and has needed to go long before this.

Next week,the chefs have a special meal assignment at the CIA(not the cooking school,the government agency),which may put the Alex angst on the back burner for a while there.



The Final Four on The Next Food Network Star went to New York and as their next to last challenge,had an Iron Chef America cook-off that was judged by the actual Iron Chefs themselves.

Two chefs at a time had to use their skills for three dishes that highlighted their secret ingredient(round one was shrimp,round two was bacon)while the other two did commentary with Alton Brown.



No one aced both categories but Aarti's excellent cooking made up for her weak commentary and Tom's performance was vice versa,so both of them made it to the finale.

Herb will be joining them instead of Aria,who flopped in front of the mike and behind the stove. Between her goofiness with Alton and the lame kiddie food she presented to the judges,Aria truly sang her swan song here. Good luck to the Final Three and may the best person win:





For once on True Blood,Bill and Jessica made a real connection as he tried to send her away before Russell and his minions came a-calling. Jessica refused to leave and Bill decided to treat her like a real vampire and show her how to fight like one.

Teaching her warrior skills wasn't the only use Bill had for Jessica;the two of them shared their sorrows about their loves and found a mutual meeting of the minds with their heartbreak. There seems to be a bit of a father-daughter vibe between them that's sweet to see,particularly for such lost souls as these two:



Meanwhile,Sookie got ready for trouble after a heads-up from her cousin Hadley about Russell and friends intending to stop by. Debbie showed up instead and while she and Sookie had one hell of a throw down,Bill took on the Mississippi vampire king himself. It was real touch and go there for a time but with some unexpected assistance from Eric(taking some of that sweet revenge he's been craving) and Sookie's stamina and shotgun successfully driving Debbie off,victory for the good guys was won,for the moment.

Bill and Sookie briefly reunited,with some hot and heavy makeup sex(you have been warned)to celebrate yet how long their relationship will last is in doubt. They did break up right after Sookie came out of her coma,after all,and will most likely team up to continue their resistance to Russell's plans but the romance of Bill and Sookie is your dictionary definition of doomed,folks:



RANDOM NOTES:

DESIGN STAR: The Final Three have been chosen and as long as Michael doesn't win,I'll be satisfied. Funny how he seems to have trouble building furniture now that there is no one to manipulate into doing it for him there. Oh,well,the sooner this season is over,the better at this point:

Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection is the ultimate tell-all to end all tell-alls

It's been awhile since I read a celebrity memoir or even a bio;those tales from famous faces were quite the literary catnip for me back in my teens and I couldn't get enough of them.

Over the decades,alas,the need for such juicy slices of backstage Hollywood in print were more sustained via countless cable TV specials and online celebrity news,to the point where I had to wean myself off of the gossip mill to make room for other fun facts to know and tell in my brain.

Yet,part of me still holds some interest in Tinsel town minutiae,why is probably why I picked up a copy of Official Book Selection,now in paperback,a memoir by comedienne and reality show star Kathy Griffin.

While I don't watch My Life on the D-List(nothing against it,just not my celebrity cup of tea),her comedy specials on Bravo are hilarious must-see TV. Part of the fun is Kathy's satirical takes on stars,which this book promises to deliver the goods on and sounded like it was worth a real look.



Kathy's book does more than serve up some slams on celebs,however. She also details her struggles in show business,both on the comedy club circuit(including a stint with The Groundlings in L.A.) and trying to break into movies and TV.

With bit parts on sitcoms like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and a two episode deal on Seinfeld,Kathy slowly made progress towards reaching her career goals. When she landed a part as Brooke Shield's gal pal on Suddenly Susan in the late 1990s,it seemed like her ship had finally come in.

Unfortunately,that fame was short lived as Suddenly Susan ended after four seasons,leaving her to find another steady gig. Sitcoms were starting to go on the decline but Kathy's comedy chops were being well honed as she connected with more of the bigger Hollywood movers and shakers on and off screen:





With various stand up performances and other media appearances,Kathy soon found her comedic niche and audience,which lead to her Emmy award winning reality series,My Life on the D List,now in it's sixth season and growing strong.

Her style of humor has evolved from talking about whatever is on her mind to revealing the amusing and awful truth about celebrities,some of whom have not taken kindly to her quips about them.

Whether you find her shocking or silly,Kathy's down to earth no holds barred approach to the foibles of the rich and famous on any level of star status showcases her razor sharp wit nicely(if not always politely):





Kathy's laser focus on reality is not just aimed at celebs;she also thrusts her personal life and times into that spotlight glare as well,with photos of her plastic surgery scars accompanying her horror stories about those experiences for starters.

She also discusses her family,speaking candidly about why it was necessary to cut one of her brothers out of her life(said brother,who is now deceased,was abusive to women and sexually inappropriate with young girls amongst other sad details)and her troubled brief marriage as well. Kathy's emotional honesty mixed with the ability to laugh about herself and her loved ones is just as compelling to read as it is to listen to and be impressed by:





While I'm still in the midst of reading this book,it was hard to wait until the final page to spread the good word about Official Book Selection. Fans of Kathy may take to it quicker than others,yet even those unfamiliar with her take no prisoners prose will be happy to have climbed aboard her fame train here.

Official Book Selection makes for a great summer read,but folks looking for a fresh new title for their book groups this fall should consider it as well. Not only will it give your fellow readers plenty to talk about afterward,you can easily whip up a nifty show and tell presentation for the book that if it doesn't liven up your meetings,nothing else will!:

When movie merchandising gets way out of hand

As a unashamedly proud fan girl of many commercial genres, I am one of those who are thrilled to own movie/TV related products of all kinds,from the True Blood Fangtasia T shirt bought for me on my birthday(thanks,Sis!)to the Corpse Bride throw blanket on my bed and the Sin City action figures on display with my books.



However,even I am gobsmacked by the latest tie-ins to the upcoming adaptation of Eat,Pray,Love,due to hit theaters this Friday. Sure,having a T shirt and jewelry inspired by the book and film is cool for the fans and making a special brand of EPL tea seems to be a savvy as well as sensible marketing move.

Yet,some of these products are a tad odd to be connected to a film that purports a serious mind set,such as furniture,dishes and bed linens. Yes,my friends,you can have your very own EPL blankets,sheets and embroidered pillow cases straight out of Home Shopping Network.

How is it that some people would sneer at me or others such as myself for having a Nightmare Before Christmas throw but think it's fine to have an entire EPL bedroom set? Not to mention that all this materialism doesn't quite fit in with the theme of embracing a more spiritual approach to life there,to me. To each their own,I say but this is just going overboard,if you ask me:





You have to draw the line somewhere,particularly with the tight budget everyone has to live with these days. For example,as much as I love the Twilight series and enjoy some of the products associated with the movie versions(mainly the candy),buying the Twilight:New Moon packing tape was just too silly.

I actually saw this on the discount table at a Hot Topic recently and even then,I was unwilling to get it. Werewolf packing tape is not a great keepsake;once you use it,the tape winds up being cut and thrown away. Even a Twilight pencil case would last longer than that(yes,they do make them,I kid you not)!



Also weird to me is making a Mr. Potato Head version of Iron Man as a tie-in to the sequel. First off,the target audience for that toy is way too young to sit through an Iron Man movie(it's more of a Toy Story 3 crowd)and secondly,even the most die hard of comic book devotees might be a little embarrassed at putting "Tony Starch" in their Marvel collection. Then again,maybe not,it is kind of cute.



Movie merchandise is apparently not just for kids anymore,as Sex and the City 2 proved with specially made vodka and a thong panty set. Instead of days of the week printed on your underwear,you can choose SATC character colors like Carrie's Lipstick Pink or Samantha's Seductive Black.

Pardon me for being catty for a moment but is keeping underwear on something that these gals are really known for?



Offbeat movie products are not limited to the U.S.A-as part of the promotion for Daniel Craig as the newest James Bond in Casino Royale,a smoothie company over in England put out "ice lollies" shaped like the star himself,in shirtless torso form.

Bond is big over there,naturally and while plenty of folks would love to devour him with their eyes,doing it somewhat literally is slightly disconcerting,to say the least. Plus,the flavors were blueberry,pomegranate and cranberry,not too sexy there. Passion fruit would be a better choice or your basic orange,cherry and grape. Hey,if you're going to make creepy sweets,at least make them tasty.



Well,perhaps all of these EPL products will help to bolster the film's box office take this weekend,especially since the cinematic competition is rather fierce, even for August.

Along with the long awaited Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World,the mega action flick The Expendables is also due to arrive with a mother load of action movie vets on board and lead by Sly Stallone,with cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger as added incentive.

Their merchandise is pretty standard but what they lack in tie-in products,they're making up for in fan love,which is one item that can't be bought at any price. Also,having a sense of humor as a selling point helps out as well:

Some recommended reading to get you in that back to school spirit

With the advent of August upon us,it's time to prepare for the end of summer and the beginning of what will hopefully be a less humid fall season ahead. Part of that prep includes reading,with lists provided by many schools for it's students to pack up with their lunches and be ready to discuss in class.

Even if you're just sending a kid or two off to school or haven't been near one in years, considering the scholarly life is a refreshing change of mental pace for anyone needing to shake the summertime blues there. With that in mind,here are a few suggestions to set your sights towards that back to school state of mind:



ELECTION: Tom Perotta's tale of thwarted adult ambition and the intense determination of one young girl's drive to succeed that scares even her at times has become a bit of a instant cult classic. Credit for that is due in part to it's well made 1999 film adaptation,where Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick brought their main characters brilliantly to satirical life on screen.

Both the book and the film hold other gems than the looming showdown between the leads,such as supporting players like dim witted but likable Paul Warren,who takes up the school election mainly at the behest of his teacher and his younger sister,Tammy,a natural outsider who also throws herself into the campaign fray out of angst over a tentative relationship.

While the main event between driven Tracy Flick and conflicted Mr. McAllister is riveting to follow,having characters on the side who toss in bitter bits of snarky truth like Tammy is what makes this story so smartly well rounded:





DAVID COPPERFIELD: The works of Charles Dickens can be seen as perfectly suitable for fall reading,with most of them being rather lengthy and filled with descriptions of gloomy weather that gets you ready for the real thing to frost or fog up your windows.

Speaking of gloom,the schools where many of Dickens' young heroes such as David Copperfield went to are rather harsh places(which makes you appreciate the abandonment of corporal punishment in our modern educational system)where nonetheless,a good friend or two was made in time to bear of all struggles with and look out for upcoming trouble.

While David Copperfield's school buddy Steerforth turned out to be a cad as an adult,he did have the makings of a better person in his youth. Folks still have friends like this today,which displays the timelessness of Dickens' work very well indeed:





MATILDA: Roald Dahl also covered the cruel school front there,but,unlike Dickens,the awful grown-ups received their comeuppance a whole lot sooner from the clever children they sought to repress.

Not all of the adults depicted,however,were bad folks. Some very credible role models for young people did appear on the pages such as Miss Honey,the truly sweet natured teacher of Matilda who strove to make the amazing intelligence of this youngster known to her contemporaries and Matilda's family but sadly,her pleas fell on dense ears.

Despite getting more of a support system for Matilda,Miss Honey was able to provide a loving and encouraging hand for this incredibly smart young girl. She's the kind of dedicated teacher that you wish everyone could have,regardless of grade level:





AN EDUCATION: True stories about the pursuit of higher education and the distractions that can pull one off of that path are a little more compelling that fictional ones,even if they are not quite as entertaining.

However,in An Education,both levels of reader attention are achieved. The award winning film based on journalist Lynn Barber's memoir only represents a small portion of the book,where the teen-aged Lynn had a fling with a much older(and discovered to be disreputable)man back in her hoping to attend Oxford school days of the 1960s.

The book goes further on to explore her professional and personal struggles in life,including the death of her husband(who was not the man she hooked up with in her youth). Seeing the movie has inspired me to give the book a try and learn more about the life lessons that this intriguingly intelligent woman put to good use in making her dreams come true:



I hope some of these recommendations give you a good idea of what to read next but it's good to keep in mind that merely having access to great books and learning is not enough to make you truly smart. It's what you do with the knowledge that counts in the long run. That old saying about judging books by their cover has lasted this long for a reason,folks,so if you enter a battle of wits this autumn,make sure you have plenty of ammunition to start with:

Bad Movie Month's Terrifying Teens tour is being lead by Jennifer's Body

This year on Bad Movie Month,we're going with a theme for all of the less than stellar cinematic charmers being highlighted here and as your first awful appetizer on the Terrifying Teens menu,take a taste of Jennifer's Body.

The main attraction of the plot(and the marketing for this film)is Megan Fox,the Jennifer of the title,who is a small town mean girl with her loyal retainer Needy(Amanda Seyfried)constantly in tow,despite the fact that nerdy Needy has an attentive boyfriend on hand.

One night,Jennifer drags Needy along with her to the local pub in order to catch a Gothy indie band(with Adam Brody as the obnoxious lead singer)and when the place inexplicably burns down,Jennifer takes off with the band who are on the prowl for a virgin to sacrifice to Satan as a fast track to musical fame and fortune.



Turns out that Jennifer is not a virgin(color me shocked;not to mention how stupid is this rock band that they go looking for a virgin at a bar?)and instead of dying,becomes a vicious succubus who needs to feed on human flesh so that her demon energy can keep her hair nice and shiny.

Needy does get a clue about her BFF's new attitude,especially when Jennifer shows up in the middle of the night to puke black slime on the kitchen floor.

Later,in a bizarre girl talk scene,Jennifer recounts the tale of her first victim,who just happens to be the only foreign exchange student in town and who conveniently escaped from the bar fire without anyone noticing! What a lucky girl that Jennifer is!:





As is the way of these things,it falls upon Needy to stop her friend's grisly reign of terror by reading up on demons and having bitch fights with her. The movie's script was written by Diablo Cody of Juno fame and it's chock full of so-called hip teen dialogue such as "Hey,Monistat-What's up,Vagisil?" and "His mom's acting like a zombie robot mannequin"(which is actually a good description of Megan Fox's performance).

The trying to be trendy dialogue is bad enough without the half hearted mix of teen movie metaphors from the likes of Heathers(with the evil rock band's annoying song becoming a hit and everyone adoring them without question)and other better movies that barely stick to wall of plot points when thrown,not to mention the gratuitous riffs on pop culture.

The worst pop culture reference moment has to be when the rock band starts singing "867-5309/Jenny" to their terrified captive before "going Benihana" on her-it's neither funny nor scary,just sickening to watch and listen to. Equally sickening is the comment Jennifer makes earlier upon picking Needy up for their night out while boyfriend Chip Dove is still around-"It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been f**king?" I have nothing against witty profanity but there has to be some wit in the first place to make it work:





The big showdown between the girls on prom night,with Chip as the bloody chew toy being pulled apart here,amounts to not much more than a slightly gory mall bitches session from an MTV reality show than an epic battle of good vs. evil. Jennifer may be able to float in midair and whip out some snazzy sharp teeth on command but cracks about her weight loss regimen cut like a knife into her hot evil chick armor:





Like many a maudlin horror comedy before it,Jennifer's Body can't maintain the balance between it's two genres and just winds up becoming a prolonged tease of a movie that is as disappointing as ordering a chocolate ice cream sundae and getting served liver and onion flavored yogurt instead.

Despite Megan Fox's current status as box office poison(due to Jonah Hex and not being cast in the next Transformers sequel),the film fail here can not be rested solely on her shoulders.

One of the other main selling points of this allegedly funny fear flick was Diablo Cody,who claimed to bring a feminist flair to the project. Sorry,sweetie,but your story played right into the traditional male gaze features of the typical teen horror film like a violin and a few far from hip quips are not enough to elevate it any higher than that. Leave the cultural subversion to the pros,honey and spare us the sorry snaps next time:

Bad Movie Month starts off with a birthday slice of Cool As Ice

We're getting this year's Bad Movie Month off to an early start today,due to the happy fact that my sister Stephanie has requested coverage of an exceptionally awful film as her blog birthday gift from me.

As luck would have it,her choice of cinematic crap fits nicely into our theme of Terrifying Teens,since nothing is more frightening that the musical legacy of Vanilla Ice on kids coming of age in the 1990s. Sort of a hip-hop version of Pat Boone,if you dare to think about it for too long.

Cool As Ice was the first(and thankfully,the last)major motion picture to showcase the dubious talents of Robert Van Wrinkle,aka Vanilla Ice,unless you count that cameo of his in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. Then again,let's take one horror show on at a time,shall we?



The alleged plot of this movie(which claimed to be a remake of Rebel Without a Cause,despite the fact that Paula Abdul's "Rush,Rush" video had way more accuracy in terms of storyline there) has the unnamed Vanilla and his three equally nameless sidekicks going from one random musical gig to another,with their motorbikes conveniently breaking down in a random small town.

Along the way,our hero spots a pretty young lady riding a horse(or "driving" one as he later refers to it)and like many a potential Romeo,sweeps her off her feet by knocking her off of her saddle. Later on,he discovers this potential object of his affection and makes a more formal introduction,without giving his name but learning hers and offers some sage advice about the yuppie jerk she's dating.

Kristin Minter plays Kathy,a role originally offered to Gwyneth Paltrow but not taken due to objections from her father about the "sexuality" of the film(which is PG,by the way). Hopefully,Gwyneth thanks her dad every day from shielding her from that particular bullet:





Our leading man continues his pursuit of his lady love by strutting his musical stuff at the local night club,with the help of his still unnamed companions.

Funny how hard it was for the screenwriters to give Vanilla and his buddies monikers while the rest of the cast(including the wacky old couple who let Vanilla and friends stay at their house while their bikes are being fixed)has one.

It's particularly strange since there are whole portions of the film where no one says or does anything to advance the plot,as if the director just walked over to the set and told them "Look,make something up,okay? I've got nothing here!"

Anyway,back to the romance-Vanilla does make an impression on Kathy,who accepts his advances at first in order to get back the organizer that he swiped from her purse but winds up falling for our mystery man anyway. Yeah,it's so hard to resist the charms of a guy whose courtship skills are straight out of grade school and who dresses like a reject from the Big Apple Circus to boot. What a catch,indeed!:





Eventually,our hero gets a name(Johnny-now was that so difficult to come up?)and gets to show off his fighting skills as he endures vandalism at the hands of Kat's jealous boyfriend Nick and has to rescue Kat's annoying little brother,who has been kidnapped by old enemies of her father.

Turns out that Dear Old Dad,played by Family Ties father Michael Gross, is in witness protection and goofs that up by appearing on TV in a local news profile on his little girl-oops! This subplot is actually the only portion of the movie given any major detail,which makes me think it was ripped out of an uncompleted made-for-TV-movie script to be cut and pasted into this sorry mess. All of this means that our newly named Johnny must rev up his bike and crew to save the day:





The movie's saving grace is that it's running time is ninety minutes but by the time you get to see the end credits,it feels like ninety years.

All ends well for Johnny and Kat's relationship,plus we're treated to another rap performance similar to the one at the beginning,the difference being that we're spared the vocal stylings of Naomi Campbell,who makes her brief musical debut there.

Well,happy birthday,Sis and thanks for introducing me to this incredible train wreck of a flick,which will haunt my nightmares for some time there. The only bragging rights that Cool As Ice can claim as a film are the seven nominations it received at the Golden Raspberry Awards that year. Vanilla Ice himself won for Worst New Star and it's safe to say that he truly lived up to that honor.

If you haven't seen this stunning display of onscreen ineptitude for yourself,count that among your daily blessings,folks and if you have endured this godawful epic,my sympathies are with you,big time. However,if you're in need of a movie to mock with your friends,here is the perfect raw diamond to shine up and show to all who dare watch: