Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween,folks! Tonight is the night to dress up as wacky as you want and have a little fun(just not as much fun as the Philadelphia Phillies fans did after the World Series recently,okay?).
To help you plan your Horror Night festivities,I've dug up a few holiday themed tunes to play during your party or haunted house tour. Most people just go right for the obvious like "Thriller" or "Monster Mash",which is fine,but this is definitely the time to think outside of the box,don't you think?
MY NAME IS NORMAN BATES
This electronic tribute to one of Alfred Hitchcock's most memorable villains is most deadly with it's repetitive lyrics("my name is Norman Bates/I'm just a normal guy")and the spooky mansion in which the Janet Leigh lookalike runs around is more Rocky Horror than the Bates Motel,but one thing this song does deliver on is the creepy:
This band did exist and whether or not this song is meant to be a joke is a terrifying topic for debate. The video basically has the band trapped out in the fake woods about to be attacked by shanky party girls and zombie caterers. This song came out a few years before the first Pumpkinhead movie,so the mystery guest star appearance is strictly a coincidence:
BARK AT THE MOON
You could say that having Ozzy Osbourne become a werewolf is pretty much typecasting at it's best and worst. To be fair,this plot of this video is more along the lines of "What would happen if Ozzy starred in one of those old school Hammer horror movies?" They throw just about everything in,along with the bloody kitchen sink of cliches,the scary hallway chase:
LOVE SONG FOR A VAMPIRE
No,this is not an Anne Rice tribute-Annie Lennox sang this dark little ditty for the overblown Bram Stroker's Dracula film Francis Ford Coppola gave us back in 1992.
Annie's voice is perfectly haunting here but Coppola could have taken a few other hints for the movie from her look and tone of the video. See,Francis,you don't have to gild the lily(or make your actors wear overly puffy laced costumes)to make things look good and ghoulish:
BACKSTREET'S BACK-RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
I saved the scariest for last,the Backstreet Boys and their trip thru the Universal Studios Classic Monsters line-up. The most terrifying thing about this video(besides the guy playing the Mummy asking "Am I sexual?")is that the make-up and special effects are actually well done. I hate to say this but I kind of like this damn thing*shuddering at the thought*. If that isn't scary enough to admit,I don't know what else is! Hope your Halloween is not as frightening,folks:
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Another guest judge filled in for Kelly Wearstler this week on Top Design and he certainly wasn't shy about giving his opinion!
Jeff Lewis from the Bravo series "Flipping Out" is known to be both mental and mouthy and while I've never watched that show,his stance on who should stay and who needed to go was a sharp breath of fresh air. I think Top Design just found their Anthony Bourdain,folks.
The challenge given to the Final Four was to pick one room in a townhouse to design and make that look the signature piece for what they would do for the rest of the place. The last part's important because the Final Three will have to make over the entire townhouse to earn the win.
Ondine chose a small back bedroom and turned it into a home office space,using a black and white motif. While I wasn't crazy about the wallpaper she put up on one part of the wall at first,the overall affect came out very well.
The judges thought it was good,not great. Jeff Lewis really liked it,tho,pointing out that black and white is in style right now(the man does work in real estate,he ought to know)and that Ondine was in touch with the current trends,a good thing for any one in the creative arts to be.
Preston picked a room that was off of the kitchen and made it into a lounge(his strong suit,it seems). While he does get a tad repetitive with his hotel style set-ups,he does make them work.
The judges did point out that he needs to be careful with the size and scale of his furniture;Jeff Lewis complained about the orange padded bench being way too big and blocking the moving space in the room. Preston defended his choice(he wanted a bright splash of color)but did politely take the hint about arranging the room in a more free flowing fashion.
Nathan created a more subtle style than he usually does for the main bedroom of his townhouse. He wanted to show the judges that he was more than just Mr. Flashy with his aesthetic and while he did add some sly subversive touches,such as a vase of nails by the bed,the overall affect was pretty bland.
While Nathan toned it down,Eddie went over the top with his main bedroom and I really think the two of them should've done the complete opposite. Eddie's Martha Stewart side took full control and while Jeff Lewis was a tad harsh in saying that the room reminded him of elderly people and things such as walkers,bedpans and canes,it did have a very Golden Girls vibe and not in a good way.
So,Eddie was kicked out(finally!)but this probably won't be the last we see of him,since next week's Finale will no doubt use the now traditional standard of "let's get your former competitors to come in and help out with the last challenge!" routine. That guy just turns up like a bad penny,seriously.
Heroes is going to be taking a couple of weeks off(one of which is due to Election Day)and that's fine,since we need a little time to let some of these new changes sink in,like Maya getting her wish to be death tear free,Papa Petrelli throwing down the hammer on friend and foe alike and Sylar's possible double agent status.
I am glad to see Elle back and teaming up with Claire but one thing I would say to her is "Are you crazy?" The two power gals seek out Pinehearst to help Elle with her lack of electro control and what is the first thing they see once they arrive? Peter being thrown out of a high window and nearly getting killed due to the loss of his healing powers.
Claire goes right to his aid but what does Elle do? She insists on walking right into the place and asking for help! What kind of help do you truly think some secret corporation is going to give you when they're throwing people out of windows after taking their powers away?! I know you're desperate,honey,but you need to jump start your street savvy there:
Mad Men finished up their second season with folks worrying so much about the Cuban Missile Crisis that they let off a number of emotional bombshells. Peggy did just that with Pete,who is on the verge of leaving his wife,about the baby that she had after their brief affair and was given up for adoption.
Pete is quite a jerk at times(especially over refusing to adopt a child with his infertile wife)but you did feel sorry for him when Peggy lowered that boom. She had to do it,not only to explain why she didn't want to be with him but to unburden her soul about this difficult secret that she's been carrying around for awhile now.
It was the right thing to do,even if it did cause some pain. I was bothered by Father Gill's insistence on Peggy confessing to him(he learned about the baby via Peggy's older sister's confession)to the point of threatening her with hellfire. His need to know appeared to be unseemly,no different than some guy trying to get a girl to sleep with him by feeding on her fears about an impending disaster. Pete was the proper person for Peggy to confess to and he deserved to know the truth. Only time will tell how it will ultimately play out for the both of them:
TRUE BLOOD: Sookie's psychic abilities are now being called on to aid the local vampires to smoke out the person who's been embezzling money from Fangtasia. Not a bad way to help keep the peace but it looks like it may wind up literally biting Sookie back in a bloody way:
GETTING TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT TO THE TRUTH:
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Debuting on a syndicated network near you this Saturday is a brand new fantasy series from the folks who brought you the cult TV hits Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess,Legend of the Seeker.
The show stars Craig Horner as Cypher,a young woodsman who is tapped to fulfill a special destiny by Kahlan(Bridget Regan)a mysterious woman known as a "Confessor" and Zedd(Bruce Spence),a once powerful wizard who has gone the Ben Kenobi route.
What sets this sword and sorcery saga apart from the pack is that it's based on a series of books by Terry Goodkind known as The Sword of Truth.
The SOT titles have a strong following with fantasy fans and one of the more intriguing aspects of the series are the elements of political allegory influenced by the writings of Ayn Rand(Goodkind's a big supporter of her philosophy) that are blended into the main plot.
Granted,the show will be way more mainstream in content(along with the usual changes that come with adapting a book into visual media)but it seems like there may be some tasty food for thought slipped in with the special effects here.
Plus,I think the time is ripe for a good fantasy series to come along and give folks something to help them escape some of the harsh realities of life(for an hour or two, at least) that are cropping up big time these days. Not a total block out from the world(which is unhealthy)but a decent dose of emotional sugar to make the medicine go down.
I was never into Hercules or Xena,my otherworldly needs were fulfilled by Buffy and Angel at the time,but those shows did look like fun. Legend of the Seeker doesn't appear to be as campy as they were but,judging from this ten minute preview,LOTS shares the same spirit of entertaining adventure that it's pop culture godparents did:
Another great thing about having a show like this on the air is that most of the syndicated networks that have LOTS in their schedule will be playing it on Saturday night,in the heart of prime time viewing(check with your local stations for exact times and dates).
No one even bothers to program fresh TV shows for Saturdays any more and I think that's a shame. I remember the days when every night of the week was planned for by all of the networks,big and small,to be a complete lineup for it's viewers. True, a number of good shows have been killed by low ratings on Saturdays but that shouldn't mean that people should just give up on it,totally!
Not everyone goes out on Saturday nights,guys. Some of us stay home and would like more options,especially with money being extra tight at the moment,than re-runs and sports. Maybe LOTS will issue in a new era of spunky new Saturday night TV worth watching and talking about at the water cooler on Mondays. Here's hoping that it will be so!:
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The big holiday season of the year is slowly but surely approaching and no doubt many of you are saying"Come on now,Lady T,times are tough right now. We have to watch every penny and the last thing anyone needs to do is waste their hard earned money on books they don't need." There's some truth to that,but in my opinion,a wise shopper selects carefully so that their money turns out to be well spent,regardless of what the economy is like at the moment.
Also,with the tricky financial times in mind,I'm including a small gift book section in this preview that offers up a number of interesting choices(along with various price ranges)that will either make your personal list of must buy presents easier to go through or settle on what to use those nifty gift certificates someone is bound to slip into your stocking this season on.
A LONG AWAITED LITERARY GEM
Wally Lamb's new novel,The Hour I First Believed,may not be an official Oprah pick,but plenty of folks will be lining up to get their very own copy once it hits the shelves.
The story centers around a married couple,Caelum and Maureen Quirk,who move back to Caelum's home town of Three Rivers,Ct. to not only settle the estate of his aunt but to give Maureen a safer place to recover from her harrowing experience at Columbine High School during that tragic shooting.
While his wife struggles with her sanity,Caelum becomes interested in his family's history due to finding a hidden trove of old letters and diaries in an upstairs bedroom of the Quirk family homestead. As Caelum and Maureen travel on different paths of discovery,their mutual quest for purpose and meaning draw them together. Even if you've never read any of Lamb's work,this one is clearly not to be missed.(November 11)
A pair of historical fiction debuts this season have very different geographical settings but do share a common thematic thread;both feature young women whose parents have left them on their own as children and who have to decide if those reasons for their abandonment will hold any sway towards their future.
In The Virgin Queen's Daughter by Ella March Chase, Nell De Lacey is thrilled to be selected as a lady in waiting to the new queen,Elizabeth. However,her strong physical resemblance to Elizabeth is the subject of much talk amongst those in the Court willing to find a chink in their lady monarch's armor.
As more evidence is gathered to make this speculation more than just a mere rumor,Nell must find a way to reveal the truth without becoming a victim of political circumstance herself. Like mother,like daughter,indeed!(December 30)
Laurel Corona's The Four Seasons has a pair of sisters being abandoned in an alleyway just outside of Venice's most famed foundling hospital and music academy,the Ospedale della Pieta.
The eldest sister,Maddalena,grows up to become a violinist who catches the eye of the renowned composer Antonio Vivaldi while little sister Chiaretta uses her seductive singing ability to marry into a well connected family of aristocrats.
As their own emotional choices keep the sisters apart within the same community,it is their true passion for music that lets them stay connected to one another. The subtitle of this book is "A novel of Vivaldi's Venice" and Laurel Corona truly makes that come alive on these pages with her well researched descriptions and her own passion for this time period(November 4).
GIFT BOOKS GALORE
The first big book on display for your viewing pleasure is Art:The Definitive Visual Guide,with an introduction by Ross King,and what a true pleasure it is to look through this amazing book.
This is more than just a huge coffee table tome;Art goes into the entire history of artistic expression via paintings and sculptures,from cave paintings to modern abstract pieces. The history of each time period is well documented,with features on the influential artists for the many cultural movements and special focus is given to major paintings,highlighting the details(technique,color,significance of certain items in the background)that make that artwork so memorable.
If you know of a budding art student or want to advance your own personal knowledge of the subject,Art is the ultimate encyclopedia set all in one volume. It's like getting a complete art school education,only without having any of those pecky student loans to deal with(November).
If your knowledge base is a little more rock n' roll,then plenty of words of wisdom await you in Time Flies When You're In A Coma:The Wisdom of the Metal Gods.
Songwriter/producer Mike Daly has gathered up a collection of selected quotes from the lyrics of heavy metal superstars such as Ozzy Osbourne,Alice Cooper and Judas Priest and placed them in user friendly categories to help you find an inspiring thought for the day. Even if your metal mania is a bit more mainstream,you can find words of solace from once hard rocking fellas like Sebastian Bach,before he went down the Broadway and bat mitzvah route (November):
When Mark Dunn's debut novel,Ella Minnow Pea,first came out in 2001,no one quite predicted that the timeliness of the book's theme of systematic censorship would resonant so well with readers as it did.
This charming and seemingly simple tale of a small island nation's devotion to the power of words being used against due to the wearing down of a local memorial that the authorities deem a sign from above and decide to deal with by outlawing letters of the alphabet,is a delight and a caution all at once.
Ella Minnow Pea will be re-released in a special gift edition,with illustrations by Tim Brennan that will enhance the homespun beauty of it's characters and give plenty of devoted readers a good excuse to pass this book on to friends and family alike.(November 14)
LARGER THAN LIFE LEADING LADIES
In Maria Semple's This One Is Mine,Violet Parry lives the life of a well to do Hollywood maven with her rock star husband David and their daughter,Dot.
However,Violet finds this glamorous existence to be boring and seeks to spark up some excitement by hooking up with Teddy,a bass player with a looser style of living. David doesn't take this lying down but has his hands full with the shenanigans of his husband hunter sister Sally and her latest conquest,Jeremy,a ESPN sportscaster on the rise.
These gals may think that they have their men right where they want them,but as the old saying goes,things aren't always what they seem.(December 4)
Author Lori Handeland gives her leading lady Elizabeth Phoenix one hell of a challenge in Any Given Doomsday. Elizabeth's psychic abilities have come in handy in her work assisting the police in solving difficult crimes but when her foster mother is murdered,it becomes clear that her powers have a more ominous purpose.
Turns out that Elizabeth has been chosen to be a player in an ancient battle of good vs. evil that is about to come to a cataclysmic point of no return for the human race. While her old boyfriend Jimmy may have some of the answers that she seeks, a couple of them may rock Elizabeth's world in more ways than one(November 4):
I hope that many of these books find their way to folks needing a nice holiday gift to lift their spirits and that they are as fitting as those homemade ones which will be a pretty popular trend this year,in my opinion:
Monday, October 27, 2008
This weekend,I kept my resistance to seeing Saw V strong(my sister,however,went by herself to a opening day matinee and was deeply disappointed)and chose to get my scary movie fix from The Happening on DVD.
As some of you may know,I am a big M. Knight Shyamalan fan and can easily slip into a good hearty defense for some of his lesser appreciated films like Unbreakable,The Village and even Lady In The Water. But,there comes a time when a true fan has to get real about the quality of the work his/her favorite artist is currently bringing to the table and my time is now.
As much as I would like to pin the blame for this clunker on the actors(Mark Wahlberg is beyond dullard here and Zooey Deschanel's entire performance is strictly deer caught in the headlights mode),the true fault lies in the script written by M. Knight.
He starts off with a great concept for a horror movie;a mysterious airborne toxin is triggering suicidal impulses in people. The attacks begin in major cities,which leads folks to take off for the countryside but people are in just as much danger there,perhaps even more so due to the cause of the assault surrounding them on all sides.
Sounds pretty terrifying,doesn't it? Yet,as things start getting worse and worse,the fear factor keeps plummeting down to farcical levels.
A major reason for that is the lackluster energy given to the story. One of the best elements of an M. Knight movie was the full-on emotional connection to the center theme thread of whatever film he created. It's what made The Sixth Sense so compelling in the first place and even held together a so-so film like Signs(which I liked at the time,but it's not a movie I would stop and watch if I came across it while channel surfing).
Here,the characters and their jeopardy seemed to be utterly remote concerns and the whole eco-terror angle might make Al Gore shake in his boots,but it didn't do jack for me.
Part of the plot had science teacher Elliot(Wahlberg)trying to work out the problems in his marriage with Alma(Deschanel)but most of the time, that came off as completely inappropriate,particularly due to the fact that they were supposed to be watching out for their friend's young daughter entrusted to their care. Not to mention that I've seen sock puppets with more passionate interaction than these two onscreen.
Basically,M. Knight really dropped the ball on this one. Well,these things do happen even to the best of us and hopefully we'll get a much better movie from him the next time around. A word to the wise;please don't cast Marky Mark again.
He can be decent in some parts but not in ones where he either comes off like a jerk for making a lame joke about infidelity to his wife while they're fleeing an unknown danger or stupid with lines like "Be scientific,douchebag!"
While both my sister and I were let down by Hollywood horror this weekend,our spirits were revived by a so-bad-it's-good gem of a flick called Chopping Mall. It's an old school B movie from the 1980s that has dopey young people trapped in a mall and being hunted down by security robots gone wild. An extremely MST3K type of movie that is,alas,not on DVD but worth tracking down on VHS.
Before you seek that sucker out,take a gander of top ten lessons to learn from the sad scares of The Happening:
10) To be a good scientist,you must have a respectful awe for the laws of nature.
9) People find comfort in percentages.
8) Hot dogs get a bad rap.
7) It's not a good idea to confess an illicit tiramisu tryst with a co-worker to your husband while you are both on the run from a deadly toxin attack.
6) There are better ways to reassure your wife about her almost adultery than a crappy cough syrup story:
5) Even a crazy woman can tell when someone is chasing someone in a relationship.
4) Singing a Doobie Brothers song is not the best way to convince paranoid strangers that you're normal and that it's safe to let you inside their bunker.
3) If you feel the need to give verbal comfort to a plant,make sure that you're talking to a real one first:
2) Math riddles are not enough distraction for folks freaked by what they're seeing out of their car windows.
1) Some events are just an act of nature that we'll never fully understand:
Friday, October 24, 2008
There's been a lot of talk recently about culture clashes and how the different classes of our society are being pitted against each other,but to me,the biggest thing that's been overlooked in this debate is how such squabbles are really nothing new.
The best way to demonstrate that premise is by taking a look into our pop culture past and seeing just how this particular bone of contention has wormed it's way into the mainstream. A perfect place to start with is I Love Lucy,the first American TV comedy to embrace interracial marriage and ambitious climbing on the social ladder without any soapbox grandstanding.
While many of the attitudes about what a woman's role should be are very out of date and plenty of stereotypes abound,you can't deny that Lucy and company did hit the nail on the humorous head much more than some of the sitcoms and skit shows strive to do these days. With comedy,it's best not to over think it,just go for the funny. Let's take a gander at some of the best ILL social farce bits:
COUSIN ERNIE AND THE WICKED CITY WOMAN
Tennessee Ernie Ford(the country star best known for "Sixteen Tons")was a re-occurring guest star on the show,playing Lucy's "Cousin Ernie." Lucy and Ricky liked having him visit but Ernie always managed to wear out his welcome,yet was too lovable to just toss out. Lucy pulled a good number of stunts to get him to leave on his own,such as dressing up as a sexy big city vamp(the kind that his mother had warned him about). As is the norm with many of her schemes,the situation backfired:
DOUBLE DATING WITH A COUPLE OF COUNTRY GALS
On one episode,Fred and Ethel were fighting over what to do on their anniversary(she wanted to go out to dinner and he wanted to see the fights). Ricky and Fred teamed up to make the girls jealous by lining up a double date for each other. Lucy and Ethel countered that by making sure they were the dates in question,a mother and daughter double team of trouble:
AUNT MARTHA'S OLD FASHIONED SALAD DRESSING
Lucy and Ethel planned on making a fortune by marketing a salad dressing but their first TV ad was so successful that the dollars and cents they were putting into it didn't add up to any profits. To try and fix that,they went back on the air to unsell it. The gimmick they used for the original commercial was the "average housewife picked at random" to taste test it and for the negative version,Lucy played another red state kind of gal:
CHARM SCHOOL GIRLS
Lucy and Ethel felt at one point that they weren't stylish enough to keep their men interested in them,so they went to a charm school to learn how to be high society glamor gals. When the fellas got a look at the results of their wives' education,their reactions were ones of shock and awe,to say the least:
When Ricky's ploy to get a raise from his boss leads him to the unemployment line instead,Lucy and the Mertzs decide to ruin the opening night for his replacement at the Tropicana by filling up the reservations list with fake names and staging a number of walkouts by the kind of ritzy clients nightclubs love to canter to:
So,you see,this class culture war thing has always been a part of our world,real and imagined. The only difference between then and now is how we deal with it.
Perhaps,we could take a clue from those amusing social satirical skits and band together to get through these tough times that are affecting all of us in every tax bracket. We may not always be in tune with each other,but united,we can make some pretty swell music for all to enjoy:
Thursday, October 23, 2008
We got a break from the odd styling choices of Judge Kelly on Top Design,as another special quest star took her place at the panel,Simon Doonan. Simon added a subtle bit of snark and insight to this episode,which had more than one person getting an illuminating experience.
The big challenge this week was to design a room around a very high end chandelier,with a pretty big budget to work with of $22,000 dollars. Immunity was granted to one of the designers via a Pop Design challenge,plus a bonus advantage of being allowed to decide in what order everyone else would get to pick their chandelier.
Eddie won both of those prizes and it was a good thing for him,due to the judges being less than impressed with his so-called "modern" dining room. That room suited the sleekly boxed chandelier that he had picked like a steak dinner at a PETA charity event-all the way wrong.
Also,Eddie's snarky little attitude is making Kenley from PR look not so bad. His constant quips about how he doesn't care about what the judges think and how wonderfully grand it is to be in presence of Martha Stewart has me saying"Hey,pal,if you liked your job at Martha's and don't want any criticism,what the hell are you doing here?!"
Preston did very well here,despite having the last pick of lighting pieces and for the second week in a row,won the challenge. I did like his hotel lounge room,but would have displayed that glittery bell against the blackened part of the wall.
Judge Margaret pointed out that the mirror on the opposite side was hung at the same eye level as the chandelier was,which is a tad too symmetrical. Fortunately,that didn't take away any points from his work.
The big drama this round came down to Ondine and Andrea's rooms;Ondine had designed a "world traveler's bedroom" that made her chandelier appear as an afterthought. The judges all found it to be too dark and fussy(in my opinion,she should have picked a smaller bed. The huge one she had in there overwhelmed the space)and were more than willing to send her home.
However,Andrea had a mini-breakdown during the Judges' Panel and said she was wanting to go home to her family. Her room wasn't half bad,she made the best display of her unusual lighting piece by selecting wall paper that accented it's green glow.
Her major flaw was in the accessories(which also hampered her in the Pop Design task). The room was supposed to be "Hollywood glamor" but that big white bowl of flowers on the coffee table kind of killed the mood. The judges gave Andrea a choice of either staying or going,which would decide Ondine's fate.
Andrea hemmed and hawed but finally chose to go home. As much as I understand Andrea's longing for her loved ones,she did come off a wee bit whiny at times. Well,I just hope that Eddie doesn't get immunity anymore because he is just getting to be too jerky and not talented enough to take anymore.
Sookie and Bill got to consummate their passion on True Blood this week,with both parties being mighty pleased with the outcome. Too bad that Sookie also had some nasty flashbacks about the inappropriate attentions of her Uncle Bartlett during her afterglow time in the bathtub with Bill.
She really ought to think before she tells her vampire lover all about the folks who did her wrong in life. The man was raised in an era of chivalry and old habits do die hard,with a vengeance:
BATH TUB CONFESSIONS(slight nudity,you have been warned)
HE'S THERE FOR SOOKIE,ALL RIGHT!
Heroes has been growing more darker and more interesting with each episode this season and this week's show brought us quite the Big Bad here. Robert Forester made his debut as Arthur Petrelli,the presumed dead patriarch of the clan(methinks Angela had something to do with that comatose state he's been in).
Arthur's ability seems to be similar to that of Peter's,only with more lethal results to some rather than others. Goodbye,Adam and hello,Big Bad Dad!:
UGLY BETTY: Lindsey Lohan is really trying to extend her stay at Mode,as former high school rival Kimmie who persuades Betty to help her raise her low self esteem by being her new BFF. Betty should know better by now,once a mean girl,always a mean girl!:
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's getting near the end of October,which means that ideas for Halloween costumes are desperately needed for the undecided. Budget is an issue,but more importantly,so is originality.
Let's face it,tons of folks are going to dress up like the Joker this year,not to mention whatever political figure they favor the most(or the least).
There's nothing wrong with being whatever fantasy character you want to be on All Hallow's Eve,even if your pick is a very popular one. However,for those of you who want to stand out a little bit more from the crowd,here are a few fun suggestions that will be clearly different from the rest:
The new queen of vapidity on Bravo has just ended her series,but she can still haunt your fashion dreams this year. You don't have to have designer duds to become Rachel Zoe;she's all about vintage wear,especially from the 1970's. Either hit a decent thrift store or raid the closet of a good friend who hasn't updated their wardrobe since ABBA broke up.
The main essentials for a Rachel Zoe costume are a pair of sunglasses that resembled tinted space alien eyes,a big blonde,Farrah from Charlie's Angels wig and either a fake fur or leopard print to wear(bonus points if you do both). Also,use as many of Rachel's "Zoe-isms" as you can. Instead of "trick or treat",say " I.DIE." or "Shut it down!" Your friends can dress up like members of Rachel's entourage such as Taylor(unbrushed blonde hair and a bitchy attitude),Brad(bow tie and a box of tissues for the many tears shed)or Rodger(bad hair that may or may not be a toupee).
KENLEY FROM PROJECT RUNWAY
I know that I pick on her too much,but she is perfect for Halloween. Every day is a costume day for Kenley;like RZ,she's into vintage wear but with a 1950s,Betty page vibe to her look.
All you need is a black wig with flowers or feather clips in it,a skirt with lots of crinoline showing and a ready to wear sneer on your face when constructive criticism of your work starts to flare up. It also helps to giggle aloud at other people's failures,particularly if they are standing right next to you and to whine when it's pointed out that your clothes resemble other outfits that are already available elsewhere.
This wannabe British shock comic has the right low budget look for any guy this Halloween. All you have to have is dark,greasy hair with a serious case of bed head,an unshaven face and loud,disco type of clothes. A drunken-but-not-really-drunk English accent completes the package with tasteless jokes about the Jonas Brothers not being a mandatory requirement.
ANY ACTOR FROM A JUDD APATOW MOVIE
This idea is practically tailor made for guys who need to pull together a last minute costume. The most you might need is a wig,depending on which movie you chose your look from,and maybe a prop or two(for example,a fake ID and dark framed eyeglasses if you plan to be McLovin). Clean clothes would be nice,not to mention better smelling.
BRITNEY SPEARS:THE WOMANIZER EDITION
Britney's new video has just hit the airwaves and while it may be too early to tell if she's successful with her career relaunch,it does provide a plethora of costume ideas for women wanting to release their inner sex kitten.
Britney's many persona on display here include a saucy chauffeur,a slinky office worker rocking the black and white stripe style and a tight vested,tattooed waitress,all looks that can be easily copied for a reasonable price.
The only Womanizer ensemble I would advise against is the steam bath one,which is literally nothing at all. The weather's getting mighty cold these days! It doesn't matter if you don't know what the word womanizer means,since Britney doesn't seem to either:
I hope these hints are helpful for your Halloween dress-up and whatever you chose to become,just make sure that your look is good enough to get candy as your trick or treat and not a rock:
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Fans of Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog were thrilled to hear that the Evil League of Evil decided to open it's doors to more potential villains and accept video submissions for new membership.
The deadline for applications has now passed,leaving the League and many of us concerned citizens faced with a massive number of potential menaces to society to go through and select from. To help out the E.L.E. and give the rest of the free world fair warning,I have pulled together a list of those whom I consider to be very serious candidates with an appetite for destruction and capable of delivering quite a bit of merry mayhem.
Sneak Attack is one of those subtle foes,the kind you think could never harm a fly. However,this sweet faced, purple polka dot clad miss is charmingly dedicated to a life of evil with her main targets being marsupials like the platypus who slaughtered her true love on their honeymoon.
Her agenda also includes destroying anyone's chance at romance,using her bouts of unpredictable rage and pocket protectors to do so. Sneak Attack looks a bit like another current villain,Kenley from Project Runway,the only difference being that Sneak Attack is much nicer to be around:
THE GRAMMAR NAZI
This is one evildoer who many of us have encountered over the years in all sorts of venues;at work while we're trying to get that report to the boss on time,out at social functions and family gatherings where one can be all too easily backed into a corner,doomed to listen to an endless lecture about the proper usage of the word,"Whom" and of course,the internet.
Many have claimed to be the real Grammar Nazi but it is only now that her true face has been revealed. So far,no blood has been shed during her reign of terror,but with the backing of the E.L.E.,all of that could change:
This wily wicked woman victimizes the most innocent members of society,children,by using her mind powers to convince budget minded mothers to buy those bland,generic grocery items which dull the taste buds of people of all ages.
With her sinister mantra of "It tastes JUST THE SAME!" and her savvy new ad campaign,Store Brand is giving her arch nemesis The Coupon Crusader a real run for his money:
FURY OF SOLACE
This fellow has the panache of a Batman villain going for him by being evil enough to create his own worthy adversary via the traditional method of making her watch the destruction of her parents at a young age.
He claims to have done this under the influence of a psychic friend but his continuing connection and relationship with this destined to save the world heroine is the hallmark of a devious foe indeed:
Aristocratic villains never go out of style and Baron Mind clearly intends to move up in the ranks,with his goal to ultimately become Emperor Mind. Nice to see a young person with real ambition these days!
He may seem to have an unfair advantage or two,having met Dr. Horrible awhile back,along with his awesome powers of trivia. However,his teleporting skills are no where near the advanced skill levels achieved by Hiro Nakamura. That give us folks a fighting chance to defeat him,conqueror of Utica or not!:
I saved the most dangerous one of all for last. Behold the terror that is The Sock,who is a cunning master of disguise and born evil from day one,right down to his stitches!
He may not appear to be a major threat but don't count him out,folks. This sinister piece of footwear has plenty of evil plans up his nonexistent sleeve,like an army of detergent powered murder bots for starters. Still not convinced? He's so evil,he doesn't recycle(even Serial Mom does that!):
Best of luck to all of those seeking to enter the Evil League of Evil(and a heads-up to the rest of us innocent bystanders out there). It's up to the E.L.E. now and particularly,Bad Horse who rules that deadly roost with a iron hoof, to chose a new adversary of justice to their ranks.
Perhaps Dr. Horrible can offer some advice to the newcomers-after all,he's been in your position and if anyone can tell you how not to become Bad Horse's mare,it's him!:
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