There are just some things you can't avoid in life,especially when seeking out worthwhile entertainment. For example,last week I went out to see the next to last Harry Potter film(which was excellent)and out of the half dozen trailers that I had to sit through until the feature presentation was shown,a true blue stinker splattered across the screen.
As much as I enjoyed the Hanna-Barbera cartoon version back in my childhood days, the upcoming release of a live action Yogi Bear,in 3D no less, is not something that I would wish upon my worst enemy to endure. Why anyone soberly would think that a whole movie built around two bears stealing lunches from tourists needed to be a major Hollywood production is beyond me. Then again,the key word here is sober,if you know what I mean(and sadly,you probably do):
At least the Yogi Bear movie will be long gone by the time folks are sweeping up the mess from their New Year's Eve parties. What is even more terrifying are the cinematic horrors awaiting us by early winter and spring of 2011.
Currently on the prowl at a preview near you is The Beaver,starring Mel Gibson as Walter, a washed up toy exec on the outs with his family. During his emotional funk,Walter finds a beaver hand puppet in the trash and starts talking to it and with it in order to fix his life.
As is the way of these things only in the movies,Walter is able to get both his personal and professional lives back on track thanks to his new found furry friend. You wouldn't be completely off base if you asked "This is supposed to be a joke,right?" but I'm sorry to inform you that this premise is meant to be taken as seriously as an IRS audit.
Jodie Foster co-stars as well as directs this melodramatic mess and one can only hope she did this as either the repayment of a favor to Mel or as a trade-off to the studio to get a much better project off the ground. Otherwise,her involvement here may be proof that Mel's wackiness is contagious:
Speaking of contagious,sequel-itis is a disease for which there may be no cure,not even direct-to-video/cable release. The third entry in Martin Lawrence's Big Momma franchise, Big Mommas, is set to be out in theaters by next February as well as bear the subtitle "Like Father,Like Son".
The feeble thread of the plot line has the son of Lawrence's FBI agent needing to hide out after witnessing a murder. To sleaze things up a little,this truly unlikely to be taken for natural born females duo decides to take residence at an all girls' school.
With twice the number of prat falls,bawdy body humor and sad set-ups for misguided flirtation,Big Mommas is destined to be one of the least memorable midwinter releases of the season:
Hope springs eternal for a better movie once the weather warms up yet you may not keep that good feeling going after seeing this teaser for The Zookeeper. Kevin James plays the title role and is so great at his job that the animals under his care decide to let him know that they can talk.
Since Kevin is so lonely for love that he's considering leaving his position at the zoo,the chatty critters offer up some of their best tips for snaring the right mate. Prepare for some really sad jokes about being in heat and lots of pointless screaming,folks.
With it's studio having recently declared bankruptcy,the chances of this flick being shelved are strong but on the other hand,the vocals for the zoo residents are provided by the likes of Sylvester Stallone,Cher and Adam Sandler,so the odds of The Zookeeper showing up at the multiplex this summer are pretty good ones:
On the bright side,however,bad movies do serve a purpose as they make even mediocre films look better by comparison. Granted,artistic endeavors are subjective when it comes to audience appreciation and there are those films that are simply not valued for their merits at first viewing but gain acclaim later on.
Then again,some bad movies are just made because no one had the sense to say no.The only thing that can save you from wasting your hard earned money is to heed the warning signs in the trailer and resist the urge to fall for cheap emotional tricks, supposedly shocking plot twists and recognizable old school tunes. Only you can prevent bad movie watching,only you:
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