I know that January 1 is the usual time to make those traditional New Year's resolutions that most of us give up on before the month is out,but my resolve to keep on going with a personal project of mine really needs a boost right now.
When I left my bookseller job a couple of years ago(the store I used to work at sadly went out of business last spring),I decided to work more on my writing skills,partly thru this blog and partly by writing a book. A novel,actually,and since Autumn of '08,I've been sending queries to agents,hoping to get one interested in selling my story to someone out there.
Don't worry,this narrative is not about to become an angry rant about how frustrating it is to get a break in this industry. Between the turbulent economy and the general state of flux in publishing at the moment,my situation is nothing new,plus I'm not in this boat alone by a long shot.
The replies that I have received so far have been courteous and professional,even when my partial and full manuscript has returned to me with a "thanks,but no thanks" letter. I have to admit that getting that first request to see more of my work after a good number of polite rejections felt amazing. It was similar to finding a Golden Ticket in a Wonka candy bar or discovering that your lottery numbers match the winning set listed in the morning paper:
Even with the set backs,I've been more fortunate than most by having plenty of loving support from both family and friends in this endeavor. From giving me suggestions about how to best represent my work to getting the right sized mailers to send out those queries and manuscript submissions to just being there to pick me up when I'm down,my mother and sister are two of the greatest people I've ever known.
The only true nemesis in my path is my self doubt;something everyone has to learn to deal with in life and one that plagues those who pursue the arts the most. There are many times when I feel awkward and out of place,like a freshman who's too shy to enter the party where the cool,sophisticated seniors are hanging out. Even with an official invite to the dance,you can still give in to that nagging sense of being completely out of your element:
Yet,that's no excuse for not giving it the fabled good old college try. While my quest will be going on longer than I had hoped,there's still a chance that I will find the right person to help me get my book published and the one I'm currently working on now(which is a sequel to the first one)as well.
My goals are modest ones,folks. I'm not looking to become the next literary superstar or even a worldwide phenomenon along the lines of J.K. Rowling,Stephen King or Stephanie Meyer. I just want to be able to make a living doing something that I love and with any luck, am pretty good at. That's the real American dream,in my opinion.
Therefore,I hereby resolve to keep my publishing dreams alive and well,plus to not let my inner voice of doubt drown out any positive feedback or potentially good advice about what to do next. Who knows,maybe someday my name will be on that list of bestsellers-stranger things have happened,especially in book publishing:
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